Should I dump him?

[Leonardo87]

I really need help

I am a 33/F and met a guy in December
Everything seemed perfect
He seemed to love everything about me
He wined and dined me and made me his girlfriend very quickly. He also said he loved me first after about 4/6 weeks.

Over the past 8/12 weeks he has not been as nice

I got a huge pay raise and promotion at work and he has mentioned my pay raise and promotion everytime we have spoken since. He sometimes has to work away - I asked him if he would miss me when he went and he replied ‘Do you think I am an idiot, I know how much you earn’. Since I got offered the job he has little comments about how I should or should not conduct myself - ‘I would not put up with that’, ‘Is that right’... etc etc. I worked extra to help pay for a new property I recently bought during my annual leave. I did not want to move into a property and have no money for furnishing. He laughed at me because I worked during my annual leave. I done it anyway.

He keeps mentioning with my payrise how loaded I am going to be and how much money I will earn. It is embarrassing and uncomfortable. BTW I am not monied at all - drive a very plain car and have a below my means lifestyle. None of which will change.

He works away sometimes and told me initally he was planning to leave this job. I find out he has actually been offered a three year stint in this job which he has taken. Did not discuss it with me at any point. He also told me initially he would be buying a flat locally - that has not happened. Now he wants to buy a place closer to his parents which is near London (500 miles away or something)

So it is two things that is making me uncomfortable -

1. The endless comments about work and money. Not sure what he is trying to achieve here. Whether its jealousy or what?
2. The job thing. I was ready to settle down in my local area with some one yesterday - just not met the right guy yet. I do not think any of his actions make me think he is really going to stick around and settle.

It has only been 8 months but the realisations have been disappointing and I think I really only have one choice to chuck him for being a creepy love bombing idiot.

So annoying it takes over six months for true characters to be revealed.

Put the whole man in the bin.
You've got an insecure brat on your hands.

He sounds like he could end up being a tight bastard and expecting you to pay for him, forever throwing your salary increase in your face. Dump.

Yes! Dump him. This one's not a keeper. Annoying that it took 8 months to find out but at least it wasn't even longer.

Bin him. At best he's just not very nice, at worst he could become a manipulative abuser. 8 months, some of it during lockdown, is actually pretty quick to find out. At least you're not married with 2 children and feeling trapped.

He sounds utterly pathetic. You realise you can do better, surely? Dump his arse, block and move on.

I was thinking love bombing too before you said it. Normal relationships form gradually over time. Normal people dont fling about the 'L' word one month in either.

I think your spider sense was tingling from the start by the sounds of it. And now you are listening to it because of other things he has said gland done that dont feel right.

Trust your gut.

Get him in the bin.

Well done on your payrise

Wow, he doesn't even seem to like you. He's really awful, and it won't go back to what it was like at the beginning. You could be with someone nice instead of wasting time with this horrible man.

Over the past 8/12 weeks he has not been as nice

This is the point where you go, he needs dumping. And it was so early on in your post! Everything after that sentence screamed why the fuck haven't you dumped him already.

And what you described as nice is actually love bombing. All fake.

My thoughts:

@Menora 😂🤣😂

You need to nope on outta there. This is not the man for you.

You should have binned him yesterday. You've recognised the massive red flags, so you know what to do.
Sounds like he's jealous and abusive. Definitely a toxic person. Well done re. your pay rise. Sounds like your earning power is making him feel emasculated. At least his mask has dropped relatively early in the relationship, you are not married to him and do not have children with him. Run for the hills.

I'm sorry he sounds pre abusive. You sound like no fool so all I would say is trust your instincts

Yup, dump.

When he loved you at 4-6 weeks, who exactly did he love? Cos he couldn't possibly know you, let alone love you.

He feels inferior, threatened that your career is going better than his.
He wants to move further away, he can't expect you to want to carry on in a relationship with him, let him go, the right man would be proud of your achievements and not want to lose you.

Uhhh ohh he should be thrilled for you not envious. Take care.

He's a tool. Not even a useful one.

WANKURRRRRRR!

@Menora

My thoughts:

Exactly this.

This man will try to bring you down to his level. Get rid of him as soon as it's humanly possible.

Sorry, the image was of him in a bin. Do that.

What a pathetic man. Good grief. You really needed to ask if you should get rid? Absolutely no question, this guy is not a keeper.

It will get worst

Don't let him move in with you, I'm surprised he hasn't already tried.

Interesting you say that. He stayed at mines for a couple of weeks on the trot before upping and leaving with little warning to go back to his place of work. He has a room on site he can use. Only got the new flat May time - very lucky due to COVID situation. Has not got me a flat warning gift despite saying he would. Of note, he earns very good money as well (although less than me now) so it is hardly like he could not have afforded something.