Ex husband didn't tell our children he got married!

[fedupwithhim]

Is it just me or is it odd that a father (who tells himself that he is a perfect dad!) did not tell his young adult children that he got married?

He is an moron in every way, but this really does take the biscuit.

I wouldn’t use the word odd, I’d use one a lot stronger than that. What on Earth was his reasoning?

I have a friend whose ex did this.
His just-adult children spent time with him and his new partner, stayed at their house etc and he just didn't tell them beforehand.
To make matters worse they not only told his new partners children, but also invited them to the ceremony.
This was a number of years ago and has adversely affected his relationship with his children.

Context?

We didn't tell anyone when we got married.

So hurtful for your children, I am sorry

He apparently told everyone else (his family) but not our children. He wears a wedding ring but takes it off when he sees the children. At one stage, he said he only wore a ring because it was expected by his Asian partner as they'd had a baby out of wedlock.

My (estranged) father did this. It was that wedding that finished off his relationship with his youngest daughter (my sister). They text "Merry Christmas" and "Happy birthday" now but that's the extent of their relationship.

Hope your DC are doing OK.

My ex-father sent me a postcard from Gretna Green and asked me to break the news to my mother.

There are few people as selfish as men in a new relationship.

Blimey.
What is wrong with men!!!

@dannydyerismydad my father did exactly the same thing at the same place, except with a picture via text message!

I had a friend at school whose dad did this, to someone that they hadn't even met too! They went away and got married abroad in the summer and she only found out when visiting him at Christmas she found a letter addressed to 'Mr and Mrs...' and confronted him about it.
Needless to say, she's no longer in contact.

My late dad and his wife did this. Got married in the Dominican Republic without a word to anyone except her mum and sister. I was 14, my brother was 12 and we were pretty upset to be left out tbh. We didn't find our till we saw the wedding pictures in their house.

My ex did this. Big wedding, her 3 girls as bridesmaids but my girls not even made aware it was happening.

They've been no contact for years now & his parents & sister are also no contact with him due to the way he has treated his children.

I just don't get it??! Why hide it? Are they ashamed in some way?

My dads wife was the OW so potentially embarrassment was part of it. She was a bitch to us as well, especially me. As harsh as it is, I'm so grateful they never had kids (Dad had the snip after my brother was born).

He's obviously an ex for good reason. I wouldn't worry yourself getting to find logic where there probably isn't any

My ex did this as well. it didn't last! When he married for the 3rd time, they were all invited.

Blimey ! I thought it was a very odd thing to do... but clearly it's quite common.
Does anyone know of any women who have hidden their weddings.....out of interest?

As a young dc my df remarried in secret... All his neices and nephews were there.
Ime it was so sm could believe she was more important than me.
She did indeed faze me out of df's life over the next 15 years..

My ex has remarried and divorced 3/4 times ( lost count) since we divorced and our DC were only told on one occasion but not invited to any of them.
Apparently he is about to get married again but no idea if they will be invited.
When I remarried my DC were the most important guests there !

Fed up my DH's ex did this when their DC were still primary aged - and told them not to tell their father.

Big wedding, they were all bridesmaids etc, but made them lie to their dad. Sadly that was only indicative of her general deceitful behaviour.

My ExH did this, 42 days after the divorce was final.
He told our 3 children in a birthday card to my DS, where he included photos (her daughters as bridesmaids and my ex in-laws were there). The biggest kick in the teeth was the photos he sent from his “family” honeymoon to Disneyland, Florida.

They are now completely non-contact. Men like this are total dicks.

My DF did this too, when I was about 9.

Needless to say that is representative of the importance our relationship has in his life and we have no relationship to speak of.

My father's mother remarried, without telling my father. Dad was working in a very important, top secret role at the time, and she married someone from what could be seen as an enemy country. Dad found out when someone from MI6 called him in to find out why he hadn't disclosed the marriage. It nearly cost him his job.

My DC were walking to their DF's house and met one of his friends who asked them if they liked their new stepmother. They said they hadn't got one and were told that he'd got married a week ago. They were devastated that he'd kept it a secret.

I find these really shocking, especially re the "family honeymoon" that @Haroted spoke of! What utter dicks that are. I hope your DC comes to terms with it ok - but I don't think it can be explained with logic!