Husband makes me feel stupid in public

[Snowflakes1122]

Sometimes in public situations, if I say something my DH doesn’t like or he wants me to stop talking he will give me this cold stern face to signal me to stop talking. He has done it a few times over the years.

For instance, when I was in labour I wouldn’t stop talking as I was nervous. He did it then and told me to shush. And I felt really upset at the time. He also did it last week when I was taking to a neighbour. All I said was I admired her skills in her profession. Nothing controversial. I don’t understand

Why does he do this?

When I ask him he denies doing it!

He is a nice man other than this. But it’s causing me to lose confidence in myself socially. I feel stupid and embarrassed when he does it.

Either ignore him..or ask if he has a problem or say "are you okay? You're face looks odd"

Any man who hushes a woman in labour deserves to be turfed out of the room at the least. What an absolute cheek.

Ignore him
He sounds like a knob

Wow - if my ExH had told me to shush while I was in labour there would have been no way the OW would have been able to get pregnant!

He doesn't sound nice OP.
Check out 'gaslighting abuse'
And next time just tell him to fuck off!
Don't allow him to make you feel small.
Stand tall and proud and 'shush' him if you need to!
A dose of his own medicine might wake him up to how fucking awful this is!

Is it the only thing he does that makes you feel like this?
Or is this the tip of the abusive iceberg?

It is controlling yes, and sounds unacceptable in the labour situation and inappropriate with your neighbour.

I'll hold my hand up and say I have been guilty of a look in the past, I think at a lower level, in a situation where an ex talked on and on about herself in front of someone without thinking to ask how they were doing after a difficult period in their life. I wanted to subtly indicate that we should ask her about how she was doing, but didn't want to interrupt my ex either.

But yes, that was controlling too, and a sign that the relationship wasn't right. I did feel embarrassed, and that's not how you should be feeling towards your partner. And neither should I have been conveying that when it had the possibility to damage my ex's self-esteem. I think it was a wake call to me that I was tempted to do that, that things weren't right.

If it’s in front of someone else I would stop and say to him, “are you ok?” To get him to verbalise how he’s intending to shut you up. then continue.

The next time he does it, say 'you know how you always say you don't put me down in public? Well then what would you call what you've just done?'

If he doesn't stop (and I suspect he won't) then it's simply that he has no respect for you - and actually he sounds contemptuous of you.

Not sure why you would want to be with someone who didn't respect you. And there's no coming back from contempt, if that is what it is.

I'd echo others - I suspect he is actually very controlling, and you have learned how to keep him happy most of the time, so there's only this left for him to be unhappy about.