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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does no contact work at getting someone back?

34 replies

cccro · 27/07/2020 16:19

He treated me like crap.
Messed me around.
I always ran after him,chased him.
He knew I would always be there.
I snapped yesterday and told him I was done and I wouldn't be speaking to him again and look after yourself.
He replied ..well that's up to you, your decision
Since then he has stopped viewing my Snapchat (even tho he has been on ) so is purposely avoiding looking.
Will no contact make him realise he has been a idiot ?

OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 27/07/2020 16:20

block and run if you go back there your the idiot

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 27/07/2020 16:21

Unlikely.

And why do you want a relationship with someone who treats you badly?

VettiyaIruken · 27/07/2020 16:22

So you are playing a game? You want to be with someone who doesn't give a shot about you and treats you like crap and you're hoping that ignoring this absolute prince amongst men will make him beg you to take him back?

weathervane1 · 27/07/2020 16:24

Let's hope for your sake it doesn't. Have some self respect and look to a better future with a decent person.

cccro · 27/07/2020 16:24

I'm not playing a game.
I was just so worn down this seemed like my only option ..to walk away.
He has good points but the bad sometimes takes over them.
I didn't know what else to do but disappear and hope he would sort himself out.

OP posts:
katy1213 · 27/07/2020 16:24

Doesn't matter what he realises. You're through with him.
Aren't you?

SuePerb · 27/07/2020 16:25

I know people who have used NC to manipulate an ex to get them to come back. And it may work for a while, but they generally go back to how they were. Why do you want someone who has treated you so badly?

The best use of NC is to use the time to move on, recover and learn from your mistakes.

cccro · 27/07/2020 16:27

I thought he might realise he had thrown something good away.
He is a bit narcissistic tho so maybe I've just made him angry or annoyed by having the audacity to tell I'm bye.
I miss him and it's only been a day.

OP posts:
updownroundandround · 27/07/2020 16:27

No, you go no contact to protect yourself, NOT to get a reaction Angry

MintyCedric · 27/07/2020 16:29

God I wish my ex husband would go no contact with me...

SittingAround1 · 27/07/2020 16:31

He's just not that into you.

You'll be better off finding someone who is and working on your very low self esteem issues.

Lochie662 · 27/07/2020 16:37

If no contact does suddenly make him change his mind and start pursuing you, he isnt worth it anyway. You want to spend the rest of your life playing games to be given attention by your partner?, just keep thinking the way you are doing, that way madness lies.

I know it's hard to do, but try and let go of any future with this guy, he's not good for you.

workhomesleeprepeat · 27/07/2020 16:54

I thought he might realise he had thrown something good away.

This literally never, ever happens. Life is not like a movie, where toxic people realise their wrongs and magically become better.

Well done for cutting him off! Try not to miss him, he sounds like a dick. Why do you want someone who is so obviously a dick??

Gingerkittykat · 27/07/2020 17:03

Why do you want him back? He has treated you badly and that's not likely to change. Yes, you will miss him but in time you won't miss being treated badly. How long had you been together?

Block him on social media so that you can't see when he has been online and he can't view your posts. You need to either have a clean break or talk it through properly and not just hope he will change through game playing.

SoulofanAggron · 27/07/2020 17:10

He treated me like crap. Messed me around.

You don't want someone like this back. Flowers Block him on phone, SM, everything.

TheGodmother · 27/07/2020 17:14

The only idiot here would be you if you went back to him!

Seriously though, this person is no good! That is not how someone who loves you or likes you, will treat you.

cccro · 27/07/2020 17:16

I thought telling him I was done would make me feel good.
Well it did for a minute but now it just feels so weird without him texting.
I thought he might have text

OP posts:
workhomesleeprepeat · 27/07/2020 17:21

@cccro I am sorry that you are hurting, but you need to face up to the fact that he is not a nice man, you've said yourself he messed you around. A good person does not do that.

He might text, he might not. But if he texts, please realise that he's not doing it because he cares, he is doing it for an ego boost. this man does not value you.

lazylinguist · 27/07/2020 17:23

He treated you like crap and messed you around. Why on earth would you want him back? Confused

JorisBonson · 27/07/2020 17:45

Why in the name of holy fuck do you want him back? 🙄

MikeUniformMike · 27/07/2020 18:32

Why on earth do you want him back?
Block and move on.

ChippyPickledEggs · 27/07/2020 19:07

This isn't what no contact is for. You can't manipulate someone into loving you or treating you decently.

Might he make a play for you again because you're ignoring him? Yes. He might. But it won't be because he loves you and wants to treat you well. It will be to see if he is still in control of the situation; if he can still get you to do his bidding. As soon as he realises that yes, he is and he can, it will be back to business as normal.

OP. I've been there.

katie43210 · 27/07/2020 19:16

Missing him and feeling hurt won't last forever. He won't change and if you take him back he will realise that when you say you're done you don't mean it. I hope you feel better soon and meet someone who treats you well when you're ready to move on.

Palavah · 27/07/2020 19:19

OP did you post about this situation recently? It sounds familiar

HansBanans · 27/07/2020 19:20

You said he treats you like crap and messes you around, so why on Earth are you trying to get back with him? Sounds like you're much better off without. Wishing you all the best OP x

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