Never doubt your gut....

[dramaqueenforlife]

If it’s telling you something always listen to it... it never lets you down and is always right.

I just hope the raw pain goes away.

Never a true word said....its taken me decades to listen to it....now I sit up and heed....every time. Sorry you are in pain.

My gut is always right, always. How I wish I'd listened to it with my ex....

I've finally realised this is so very true. Wish I'd known some years ago then I wouldn't be going through my 2nd divorce!

I feel like such an idiot. I can’t even talk to anyone at the moment as I feel so ashamed of myself. It serves me right thinking he would be different and that I actually deserved love.

I'm always telling my kids to trust their gut feeling/intuition/instincts. It took me years and years to trust mine!

Tell us instead OP. We won't judge. And you do deserve love

Absolutely true.

Your gut is your second, superior brain.

Never wrong IMO.

@Fairycake2 I fell in love with a close friend. We slept together 6 months ago. I should have know then. He knows how I feel about him but I found out through mutual friends who do not know about our situation that he has started seeing someone. My gut told me weeks ago something was wrong. I could tell. But I thought maybe once in my life it could work for me and I was just overthinking. We tell each other everything. I clung on to hope. It hurts so much. The sad thing is that if any one of my friends were in this situation I would tell them what they need to do. I’m the the shoulder for everyone. I’m on my own. I’m too ashamed to seek help because the ones who knew told me he would break my heart and I didn’t listen.

That sounds so painful OP. Hold on and know that the pain will pass. Do tell a friend in RL if you can.

He’s not your person, not the one who can make you happy.

That sounds very painful OP.

I'm so sorry.

@Fairycake2
I found out through mutual friends who do not know about our situation that he has started seeing someone.

Could they be referring to you?

Thank you everybody for your kind messages.

@GoGadgetGo definitely not. They would have just said it. I don’t know the woman but they mentioned who she was.

The smile I had to plaster on and pretend I was really happy for him is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

I'm with you. I'm in complete agony every single day x

I'm so sorry OP. I can imagine how awful that was finding out like that. Time to cut contact and piece your life back together. He clearly doesn't deserve you

I need to end this friendship but I can’t stop thinking about him or shaking. I’ve just tried to eat and I felt nauseous. I know this is all pathetic and in my head I’m trying to be strong but I suppose it’s too raw.

The last time I felt like this was in my 20s and it was not even as half as bad as it is now. I’ve never let anyone else in after him and he didn’t even really do any really damage if truth be told. They say that its meant to get easier as you get older but I’m mid 40s now and the pain is physical as well. Without getting my little violin out the pain of rejection from men is nothing new to me. I’m used to it. God I even advise people on it. But still hurts like hell.

When you're hurt, you're hurt. If you cut yourself once, it still hurts the next time. Be kind to yourself, it sounds like this was a bit of a shock

I feel for you OP. I know we're supposed to be more pragmatic about these things at our age, but we're just people who deserve to be loved like everyone else.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Just keep in mind that it will get better, eventually, it might help keep you going at times.

Swallow your pride and confess to at least one good friend, who you can get pissed with/blub all over.

I am sorry you are hurting OP.
But - by your description - you slept with a friend 6mo ago. You fell for him. But you didn’t have an actual romantic relationship. I presume you continued to see each other, as friends, with other people in your circle of friends.
He is now dating someone.
You are hurt.

If this is the way it went - he didn’t do anything wrong. You fell for someone who didn’t return your feelings.

Thank you everyone for your kind messages.

And as much as I hate to admit @MMmomDD you are right. However my feelings have been longer than that. A few years now.

I’ve been so delusional. I’m so angry at myself.

@amusedtodeath1 thank you for those lovely words and yes you are right you think I would be more seasoned now as this is not the first time this has happened to me. I’m sure there is a lesson in there somewhere. I still feel numb.

It’s weird as I have spoken to him and I feel as if a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Don't be angry at yourself OP. You've done nothing wrong. Sadly you just fell for someone who didn't return your feelings. Be kind to yourself and in time you'll start to feel a little better

So just an update. I spoke to him this evening and said that I cannot continue with the friendship anymore. I laid out my heart to him and to his credit he took on board everything I said. I could tell he was shocked and speechless throughout. We do have a circle in common which we have a chat group for and occasionally do socialise. I said that we would cross that bridge when we come to it. We won’t be socialising for a while yet and hopefully things will be a better by then. I think it’s the best thing I could have done as I feel as if a huge burden has been lifted from me. Let’s hope I get some sleep tonight. Thank you again for all your kind messages and please all pray I have the strength to keep going and stick to my guns and move onwards and upwards.

Well done, OP. I’m extremely impressed. That took real guts.

I have no doubt you’ll be able to stick to your guns. It won’t always be easy but it will get more and more possible with each passing day.

@AtrociousCircumstance thank you. It did. I was cool, calm and collected.

I also confided in my best friend who has been a pillar to me. She actually had me laughing at the end. Feel better for it. I know it’s a long road ahead and I will have many ups and downs especially when it punches me in the gut which I know it will but I accept that and just need to push through.

Definitely putting some distance between you is wise.

It is an awful physical pain.

Mind yourself OP.

You are a brave woman, you will get through this.