Explicit pics

[Sunflower960]

I need someone to talk to 😢

I have just found naked pictures and videos on my husbands phone, from 3 different women!

We have been married less than a year and are trying to concieve our first baby.
My head is a mess, I cant sleep, I dont know what to do.

This is not a man you can trust to be focused on you when you go through the turmoil of having a child. This is supposed to be the good, easy bit. If he’s looking elsewhere now just imagine what he’ll do when you are too busy with sleepless nights to give him your full attention.

Whether he’s gone through with it or not - and he will deny it - you know the intention is there. For me the images alone would be enough to end it.

Don’t tie your life to him. You have lots of time to find someone who values you. What would you advise a friend to do?

Even if ultimately you’re not going to leave him, you really need to kick him out now. He needs to face the consequences of his actions either way.

Please, please, please take every precaution if you are still sexually active with your husband - the last thing you need right now is to get pregnant.
It might also be worth looking into getting a STD test - could be difficult to find in these COVID times but your GP or 111 may be able to point you in the right direction
He's a prick & I would advise you to get him out of your life, sooner rather than later.

Do you really want t this man to be the father of your children ? Do you want your sons to think it’s OK to treat women like he is treating you, and for your daughters to accept being treated like he is treating you ?
Perhaps you need to think about your own respect and not the children you might have. Is this how you want to live ?

If you accept this, this will be the tip of the iceberg. All of those threads I've seen where the woman is pregnant and her husband/partner is messing around, there's usually been a previous incident that was forgiven. Then by that point these women are tied for the next 18 years to their partners and it's so much harder to get away because you are vulnerable as the mother of a young baby.

You deserve more than this. You've still got plenty of time to have children, don't saddle yourself with this man because it's far from your last chance. You've even got time to go it alone, I get that this is far from ideal but many women can and do make this work.

Stay strong. He will bring out every well-worn line in the book to try and make you doubt yourself, make you feel like you are in the wrong but you are not.

Op I feel for you . This happened to me a few years back with my ex we were on the way home from hospital. I had just had a late misscarriage and he had stopped to get petrol I had opened the glove box to get my phone out when I seen a SIM card in there . I didn't have a clue who's it was and I had been suspicious of him for a while beforehand so put it in my phone and what came up turned my stomach . Dirty videos and photos from girls around where we lived and also from his work . I lost the plot . Stupidly took him back but nothing changed for long . I left him a few months later x

Also another poster is right men like this don't change and it is nothing to do with the way you are or look so don't go thinking it because I'm this or that . You could be the most perfect person on earth and if it's in them they would do the exact same thing . I punished my self for so long thinking it was me but it's not . Men like him will end up said and on their own . Guarantee you you will leave him he will move on really quick ! Seem all happy . Youl meet someone he will text constantly that he still loves you blah blah . They will finish cause he's doing the exact same thing to her as he is doing to you and he will just shag around until no one wants to settle down with him 😂 story of my life x

You have ten years (or maybe even s bit more) to have kids with a man who dies t cheat.

If you have them with him, you'll have you kids with a cheater for a father .. and it's highly likely he'll behave like this again, and you'll end up split up, and a single mum.

Don't do that to yourself and your future kids.

It's one thing breaking up at some point due to whatever issues (if you do, you could equally meet someone you never beak up with), it's another knowingly having a family with a cheater, the odds of marriage & family breakdown are so high.

And let me tell you, if this guy's cheating during TTC (and not even stressful TTC like Ivf or something) just wait til the marathon of sleep deprivation.(with resulting irritability and stress), shitty nappy changes, feeds, possetting, teething, seemingly endless viruses, restrictions on everything you'd do normally/easily, hyper toddler wrecking, toilet training etc etc etc hits. You have a hundred reasons to be stressed, get on each others nerves and want time out.

*does not cheat

You need a reliable, commited, unselfish, decent guy for a father to kids (not perfection, noone is) but at the very least faithful, committed, and with integrity. Otherwise you're just going to inflict misery and stress on yourself (and your kids).

It's really down there, imo, to cheat at all obviously, but esp to cheat on someone you're TTC with (or who is pregnant). It shows the ultimate lack of loyalty to your partner and potential family.

The NHS fertility website states that 90% of women under 40 fall pregnant within 2 yrs of TTC. And the further off 40 you are the less likely it is to take up to 2 yrs.

Ansjovis is right. I read so many threads on here where a woman's husband/partner did something similar, was forgiven and continued to do so. At the point there are children involved it becomes so much less tolerable to stay and so much more difficult to leave.

If he's doing this already, he's never going to change and it will only get worse.

My antenatal group of a dozen people had one 27/28 yr old woman who was noticeably, significantly younger than the rest of the group, everyone else was mid to late thirties (except me at 40).

Also no doubt he'll have lots of excuses, and he'll try to somehow turn it on you, and maybe even counselling will be mentioned, blah blah blah.

It's all bullshit, he's the cheating type. The fact it's not even just one girl reinforced that.

Don't listen to words, it's his actions that matter.

And don't let him turn it on you one iota; I bet you aren't and wouldn't cheat on him .. why not, and why don't any of those reasons apply to him.

You've plenty of time to meet someone and have kids. Please do not have kids with this man as you'll be tied to him for ever. If he's doing this now imagine what he'd do in years to come. Walk away with your head held high you deserve so much better than him.

Have you confronted him about what you saw?

I echo pp, you really don't have to worry about not having time on your side for kids.

I split from a 13 year relationship when I was 29. Met DP when I was 31, enjoyed life together then had our 2 DD's when I was 37 and 38.

Before DC when you and your DP are meant to be enjoying each other, he is trying to hook up with other women. That tells you how little he is committed to you, future DC and your marriage vows. That knot you have in your stomach will never go away if you choose to believe whatever guff he tells you. Sometimes you will try and push it to the side but it will always be there.

Having DC with him is not going to make him choose to be loyal. So many threads on here by woman who found out their DP's were cheating during pregnancy, or dumped them leaving them with babies / toddlers while they swanned off on their new life with some other woman. At least you discovered he is in fact one of these men before you fell pregnant, you get the choice that many didn't. Walk that road and hope for the best, or tell him to fuck off now

Stop trying for a baby immediately. This is not the man to have children with.

You are more than young enough to find happiness and a family with someone who isn't exchanging explicit images, and arranging to meet up, with other women.

I left the house before he woke up this morning. Then messaged him to tell him i want him out before i get back. He has gone, i can't face him right now.
I shouldn't have done really but I messaged one of the girls and she said she hasn't met up with him but he asked her to.

He must have been doing this the whole relationship if hes managed it since we got married.
How could I be so gullible?

@Brightyellow yes I sent him the pictures of the proof I had. He said he hasn't slept with anyone. I dont believe a word out of his mouth.
If he hasn't, its not through lack of trying.

How horrible for you, it must be an awful shock.
You're not gullible, he kept it well hidden, and why would a newly married woman be suspecting her husband of being such a creep? It's not your fault, either that he did it, or that you didn't suspect. And there's no reason why you shouldn't have contacted the girl, don't feel bad about that.
This has happened, and if you want to find out more, you are entitled to contact whoever you want. You don't need to keep his creeper behaviour from friends or family either, if you want to tell people then do. He can't expect you to be keeping this secret, or to be making excuses as to why you've had to end the relationship.
Lucky you found out before you had children, at least you're not tied to him for 18 years. You've got plenty of time to meet and have children with someone else. Move on now, don't waste your life giving him chances.

He's a serial cheat and a compulsive liar. Thank your lucky stars you've seen the real him now.

This is definitely not the person to have children with, he's fundamentally untrustworthy. Run for the hills before you are tied to him by children.

As for him acting like he worships the ground you walk on, it's just that - an act...this is who he really is.

Well done, the hard bit is not giving in and taking him back.
Start thinking about financial things and getting a solicitor.
Good luck.

Are you up to telling a friend or family member to get a bit of support?

Also, would be worth thinking about changing the locks/door chain etc while he isn't in the house if you feel that he would use his key to let himself in

Your deserve better, even if he hasn't slept with them what he has done is many the actions of someone who is ready for a family

I've been in a very similar situation except I was actually pregnant when I walked out. I wouldn't change my little one for anything but sometimes I think how much easier our split would have been if we didn't have that link. I (stupidly) gave my husband the benefit of the doubt the first time but he never changed and is now doing the same thing to his new girlfriend. Don't listen to a single thing he says, he's proved he can't be trusted. Walk away now, you won't look back!

My DH left for another woman.
Came back after 6 months crying to come home. We had to have IVF to have a baby. Like you i thought it was "my only chance"
Took him back and we had successful ivf.
2 years later he was gone again for the same woman

6 years later, this week my son is abroad with them as daddy is getting married, to the very same woman.

OW is having my one and only son, "give her away" just to add salt in the wound.

God, how i wish i could turn back the clock and tell him to fuck off. Then i wouldnt have my beautiful son in this horrible situation.

Please op, you've done the hard part, don't take this man back under any circumstances.
It hurts now, but it'll hurt so much more when youre dragging your potential child through it all, and affecting another life.

Youre not running out of time. Im 33 and considering IVF again, with my now partner.

You have so much time. Dont let you want of a family sway you on this one.

He wont change.

You got this

Remember that his cheating is nothing to do with you.

He's just an arsehole.