My husband has left days before my due date...

[FirstTimeMum1991]

Hi everyone, I have posted on here a few times throughout my pregnancy and always received such wonderful support that I’m back again today. My husband has had an affair which has lasted (and ruined) my entire pregnancy. I take responsibility in the fact that I have been so desperate for him to “change” and prove everyone wrong that at times I have turned a blind eye and tried to tell myself that he will wake up and see what he is doing and what he has to lose. Of course it never happened and this morning I caught him in contact with her again. She knows all about me and my baby. I do not just blame her, I blame both of them. I just feel utterly broken. My baby is due on Monday. And I just don’t know where I am going to find the strength over the next few days to get through this huge stage in life where I saw him next to me. I know it’s not about me but you can’t help but feel, why her? What does she bring that I didn’t? Sorry for rambling on, I just don’t even know what to do with myself. Luckily I am with my parents who are amazing and I won’t be alone at any stage, I’m just scared how I am going to cope. Thanks everyone.

Others have said it, but just to reiterate - he’s a shit and this is in no way your fault. Don’t blame yourself for ‘missing signs’ or whatever. It’s not up to you to monitor someone’s poor behaviour, you are worthy of being treated well for your own sake.

Enjoy your beautiful baby. What a lot he is losing.

I do not just blame her, I blame both of them.

It's HIS fault, not hers!!! I hate this idea that men go around slavering after any woman who crooks a finger. She has no loyalty to you. HE has a contract!! I hope you take him to the cleaners for all you can get. Leaving you just before you give birth to HIS child.What a Prince.

One of my oldest friends husband basically walked out leaving her in the hospital when she had premature twins. Never had any contact with them. A colleagues husband left her when she was 7 months with their ivf baby again no contact.
I can't fathom it. You will get through it. These women have raised wonderful kids and had decent careers.

Similar to me although it was a couple of weeks after the baby was born. It completely overshadows my memories of first few weeks and sometime I have no idea how I got through it but effectively you have to.

What I will say, is that over 20 years later, I look back and realise I wouldn’t change a thing. My relationship with my son is incredible and he knows that I stood up to my responsibilities and put him first.

My life is brilliant, a tough journey for first couple of years, but, like labour, worth it in the end!

You are a bloody strong woman who will very soon have a gorgeous baby in your arms.

He is a despicable piece of nothing who in time you will realise how much better your life is without him.

You and your little one have had a lucky escape. I know you feel you don't have the strength to do this but you do. Don't allow this to steal your baby's arrival. He has made his bed let him suffer because he will never know those precious newborn days.

Watermelon by Marian Keyes xxx

Watermelon https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1405934379/ref=cmswwrcppapiii_51XgFbHQJ0W5M

Actually Jaxhog it is just as much the OW fault as it is the husband's, the OW didn't have to get involved with a married man now did she? OP is entitled to blame them both, she can get angry with them both. They are both complicit and I don't see why the hell the OW shouldn't be blamed. My father left my mother when I was young and knocked up another woman. The OW knew what she was doing, believe me.

So sorry you are going through this . Are your family nearby? Agree with others to tell them you do not want anything on social media about the birth.

You will know true love the moment you lay eyes on your baby. Your husband will never change and if this is how he treats you at your most vulnerable I can't imagine what he is like normally. My mum brought me up by herself and I went on to be a successful lawyer with a family of my own. Everyone told my mum it wasn't a good idea to do it alone etc.. but she proved them wrong and so can you. It won't be easy but lean on family and friends for support. Block him from your mind and focus on yourself and birthing your baby very soon. Don't upset yourself or get stressed by being in contact with him. He's made his bed and it's time he faced the consequences of his actions. If he has nothing to lose then why wouldn't he keep on seeing this other woman and whoever else he wants? You need to cut him off and deal with access to your child when you are up to it.

It's beyond me how they can be happy/at ease in a new relationship with each other, both knowing what they've done to you and an almost newborn to achieve it.
You will be ok and one day you really will know that.
Good luck x

I am so sorry, OP. I remember your other threads. H promised the affair was over but then he and OW were caught in your parents’ bedroom. He is absolutely despicable, and a life with him would be full of anxiety and uncertainty. You and your precious baby deserve a stable and peaceful home.

You will overcome this blow and will go from strength to strength with your new little one.

@Lockdownseperation

You are worth so much more than a man who sinks so low. I’m not sure how the ow can ever feel comfortable with a man who cheats in his pregnant wife.

Totally this. What on earth is this other woman thinking! standards in the gutter. I'm so sorry OP, kick him out of your life and best of luck with the birth of your baby. It is possible to do it alone and is sometimes easier, so don't lose faith. At the same time think you deserve a big hug. Hope your parents are supportive

Put the whole man in the bin.

Honestly, I found my first kid so easy because I wasn't with his dad as of a few days postpartum. I handed him over at the weekend and was able to work and recharge and I didn't have to deal with a massive cunt all the time.

You're starting a life with you baby, independent of a man who couldn't see the value of either of you. You're both better off without him.

Make sure you choose a good, supportive, birth partner. Make sure you block his arse so he can't make this process difficult for you.

Focus on you and your baby.

Good luck OP. Everything is going to work out ❤️

He's an asshole OP but it's his loss not yours. Like other posters have said, you will know true love when you hold the baby in your arms for the first time. It is the most amazing feeling. Remember that don't have to have him at the birth If you don't want him there. Make sure to tell the midwives and they will not let him in.

Take every bit of help you can get with your baby op, don't try to be super woman. It's a tough enough gig with a present, supportive partner let alone what this moral vacuum of excuse for a human being has done.

How awful what an utter shit. I split with my partner before our child was born and raised him with the help of my wonderful parents. Trust me having a baby is simpler without a man as it was just DS and me to think about. It was hard work but I treasure those moments in the middle of the night where i sung him back to sleep. You’ll get through it, your child and you will be fine. Its his loss!

Hope you're ok OP. I think you'll have been induced by now?

@binkyblinky aw thank you for your message. I’m doing ok. Taking it day by day. Have not been induced yet, letting me go another week! Just want my little girl here 💜

I bet you do, so exciting! What's happening with your husband? X

@binkyblinky my beautiful baby is here and he has been to see her a few times. I am just focusing on her for now xxx

Congratulations

I hope everything goes well for you with your lovely baby.

I was in your shoes, take it hour by hour.

Stay strong, you will not be walked over & your DD will be proud of you

Congratulations yes focus on your lovely baby - it really is his loss. Be cold if you see him dont take him back if he tries to worm back in. It will save you future heartache. Its you and your girl now

Congratulations OP

Congratulations xx