Was this me?

[LockdownLoser]

DD and I had been in the bathroom brushing her hair, she is 12. We come out and she goes into her room and I sit on my bed.

DP comes in and says is everyone finished in the bathroom, I'm going to have a shower.

Now there is me, DD12, DS15 and DS8 in the house. So I havent a clue if anyone else wants to use the bathroom so I mimes mind reading and said well I dont know, just give them a shout.

So he starts shouting at me that I am being snotty and I knew he meant are DD and I finished.

I am a bit like WTF? I wasn't being snotty, flippant maybe but honestly how do I know wether teenagers are wanting to use the bathroom, its a small house, from where he was stood he could have shoutef, does anyone need the bathroom and they would have answered.

So he storms off downstairs and sits there for half an hour waiting for me to apologise, I was sat upstairs thinking, hmm that was odd, I am sure he will come and apologise when he calms down.

Well I didn't grovel in my alloted half an hour so he went home. Then spent hours texting me how I was snotty and he is not being spoken to like shit and I should accept responsibility. I apologised that I came across snottily, reassured him that it wasn't my intentions at all and said that I was confused how it had kicked off. I apologised several times but he wouldn't let it drop.

Then he accuses me of having other men round because I thought we had watched a film together, the film was released in 2009 so actually I must have watched it with my ex, but because I thought it was him I must have watched it recently and therefore am having other men round to watch films.

Anyway in the end I said I am tired of arguing and I am going to sleep.

This morning he sends me a message saying can we just start again, I am tired of arguing.

I said no I don't think we should just pretend nothing happened, because the same thing happened last week and I bit my tongue and swept it under the carpet and it's not a healthy way to have a relationship.

So apparently I have ended the relationship. Thats it its over, because my options are pretwnd it never happened or split up.

Honestly this happens in my house, my DP asks questions all the time like I'm Alexa, lying in bed the other morning, curtains closed he asked me what the weather was like.... I definitely come back with a 'I'll just take a quick look cos luckily the curtains are magically see through for me' reply but I'm not then faced with the response you've had. Glad to read he went home, he can bloody well stay there!!

Keep any future boyfriends away from your kids, the fact you apologised repeatedly to this man who was looming over you, screaming shows that you need to do a huge amount of work on yourself regarding what’s acceptable in a relationship, how it effects children to see their mother being abused, etc.

I remember the males my mother brought into my home when I was a kid, they were only there for a shag but instead had to do awkward, unwanted small talk with a kid. So cringey.

GarlicMcAtackney she's been with him 2 years and known him for 5! At some point you are going to introduce someone to your kids, fair enough if she'd known him just weeks or even just a few months but this is years. There's nothing to suggest OP needs to do a lot of work on herself, give her a break!

thanks @Kabakofte, I actually wrote a similar reply and then deleted it because some people just want to see what fits their narrative and none of that post is really relevant.

Apologising to an aggressive male who is screaming at you-that’s really not a good way to live. The man sounds like a total loser, has he been like this for two years?! Grim.

He sounds like a drama queen. I'd say it's for the best he's gone

We can all sound sarcastic and snappy from time to time. His reaction was OTT and manipulative. I think when you said it shouldn't be swept under the carpet that it sounds like you wanted to discuss it and work through it. Then another massive tantrum from him. I think this is a good point to walk away, OP.

OP take no notice of people criticising your comment. Doesn't matter if you were a bit sarcastic, he has no right to shout at you, esp not in front of your kids.
Get rid- he is not a nice person and this abuse will get worse and worse.