I was wondering if I could ask for advice here. I have quite a few step/half/siblings and I get on with all of them quite well, but they don't get on with each other...
About ten years ago we were all much closer, we knew if we got into difficulty and needed a short term loan, my eldest sibling (S) was happy to help most of us out with the money, and we always paid S back in short order, over the years S helped out me, my parents and many of my other siblings in this manner.
Unfortunately it came to a situation whereas one of my other siblings (A) got into difficulty and used a pawn shop to set aside jewellery and borrow money. The pawn shop called in the debt and A didn't have the funds to cover it. Other siblings (not me) convinced A to approach S for a loan. Knowing that A was unreliable with money, S demurred, until A offered the much higher value of the jewellery as security until the loan was repaid.
Because S was not at the time living in the same part of the UK as A and the pawnshop, S transferred the money (a shade over £2,000) to A's account and asked my mother to hold the jewellery until they could get it. The debt was repaid and the jewellery returned to A.
Two months later, S came home for a visit and asked my mother for A's jewellery. Somehow A had not turned it over, and many excuses followed, ending with 'I had to give it to my partner, because I owe her money'. Probably tired of being hassled for the money, A announced he was moving out of the room at my mother's, and in with friends. Arguments followed, with S accusing A of engineering an 'out of sight, out of mind' attitude to the debt. A responding that such an accusation was a terrible stain on their character. A week after they moved out, S searched through A's left behind possessions and discovered pawnshop paperwork for part of the jewellery dated six days after he had forwarded the money, meaning he had pawned at least some of it again.
Unfortunately, not a penny was repaid and the debt still exists, ten years later and has driven a wedge between my family. It may be just a debt between A and S, but it has created such an enormous elephant in the room whenever family gatherings are arranged.
S accepts that the debt will never be repaid, but now outright refuses to see/speak/be in the same place at the same time as A, and boycotts all family events that A attends, so if A comes for Christmas, S will make excuses, but we know the real reason...
Most of the family take the position that it's either ten years worth of water under the bridge or simply a matter between A and S, but perhaps justifiably, S takes the view that we should call A out and apply pressure to resolve this as we still talk to him...
I'm not sure what can be done after so much time, perhaps I'm venting, perhaps I'm hopeful this can be resolved.