Do all people cheat... Sooner or later?

[Wilkiemini]

I’ve been single for a year now after a disastrous long distance relationship (he just wanted sex and said I would never be a priority for him) after 6 months I realised he wasn’t a keeper and I deserved better so I dumped him :)

A year previous to that I had a very long relationship of 18 years so I have never been on the singles scene much.

I’m in my forties now but look ten years younger (lucky me) but this just means young men in their twenties and old men over 50s (by old I mean it’s like most men this age are already slowing down and they are so boring!) so I just can’t seem to meet anyone suitable I have tried all the online dating sites and tbh the men on them are a massive disappointment plenty of quantity but little quality!

So...I decided on a whim to stop looking for a relationship and find a friend (with benefits) instead, i states clearly what I was looking for and why and what sort of man I was looking for etc (I need some intimacy but don’t want ONSs)...so now they are all filling my inbox faster than I can reply and a lot of them (most of them) are married and do not hide the fact they are....I’m actually quite surprised how many married men I recognise on Tinder and their wives / GFs have no clue the men are shagging around!

Seriously so many men are taken and yet clearly still looking for it elsewhere...it got me thinking are we all cheaters really sooner or later?

How many of you are reading this now thinking that doesn’t apply to me but you don’t know yours is playing away from home!

Do you ever check up on him?
Check his phone? Receipts / pockets?
Honestly I think some of you are in denial if your man is t getting much from you he’s probably getting it elsewhere!

No. All men don’t cheat. Only arseholes, of both sexes.

This ones gonna bite you in the arse one day, you’re the type of person that will only attract such

Your original post OP is sneering at other women. Save your venom for the cheating men.

Don’t you have any empathy?

Well lots of people do cheat - yes. But it’s not an inevitability!

I also get told fairly regularly that I look much younger than my age - I tend to assume people are just being polite 🤣🤣.

Any woman advertising herself as a ''Friend with benefits'' is going to be inundated.

Op, I am a bloke in his early 60s and I can assure you I am not boring or I'm definitely not slowing down. Too much to live for

Also, I have never, ever cheated and I totally disagree that anyone would cheat given the chance and not being found out. If you're happy and content with life why would you? Of course, you can admire, even fancy, someone other than your partner, it's not abnormal. But cheating is immoral and not something I want any part of. I couldn't live with myself. I know I'll get the 'you must be an ugly bugger with no chance of playing away then' but hey, I don't care, I'm happy. (I've never had that comment to my face, anyway )

You seem a bit full of yourself. Look ten years younger than you are? Who old you that? And you feel the need to tell us that? Why, for your own self-satisfaction? More likely you are someone who should act your age but dress ten years younger? The mutton dressed as lamb look, perhaps? it's not good. There is absolutely nothing wrong with women looking their age, and to honest some look naturally great. But also, I don't really think there is anything wrong at all with women making the best of what they are given as long as they do it for themselves. I'm just not a bloke who likes conceited women.

@Anonanonon that is a good point regarding jealousy. It is indeed a dilemma. Opportunity and free choice also has much to do with it.

Is that you Katie??

@Wilkiemini

What a Bunch of nasty bullies you are

No wonder the majority of your husbands are fucking someone else ;) it’s probably the only fun they get so good luck to them

I’m not by the way... I prefer men without all that baggage

😂😂😂

People don't agree with you and they are nasty bullies?

You asked the question and don't like the answer.

You need to grow up (don't forget those ten years to add )

I'll make sure I dunk my husbands cock in bleach tonight if he's been shagging you op, you trollop, advertising yourself as only wanting a shag, the shame! How much do you charge?

Christ.

No. After 20+ years, I haven’t cheated on DP and have no intention of doing so. Before we got together, however, the situation was rather different.

When I was young, free & single, I was free & single. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I imagine it must be much, much harder to stay faithful if you marry your first boyfriend.

I've cheated. I've been cheated on.
I don't know many people who haven't cheated in some capacity whether it be an EA or just a kiss to a full blown thing.
Relationships don't get enough respect these days. Everything is available at our fingertips and it's all just too easy. Cheating is only going to get worse going forward.

Never cheated. I’m as sure as can be my husband has never cheated.
Im pretty sure most of our friends don’t cheat on each other.

I never know where they’d get time let alone the inclination. I don’t think people over 50 suddenly become boring. Often the opposite in fact; the responsibility of a young family has eased and there’s more time to be a couple.

Friends with benefits is a horrid idea.

Surely the ones who are willing to cheat are the ones on tinder?... Not every man/woman is on Tinder waiting for their next fling 🙄... You’re reaching out to the wrong audience!

Also 10yrs younger? Says who?! You?

I mean not every man/woman is on tinder. There are many people out there not on it, not cheating

I feel rather sorry for you, actually, if that's what you think life is all about.

And I think you're just judging others by your own low standards.

If you're looking for quality you definitely aren't going to get it by asking online for a FWB.

Of course you're going to get the scummy set.

So no, not everyone cheats. Just the kind of people you seem to target or attract.

Perhaps you should look a bit more deeply at that?

You're a "man's woman" aren't you, flower ?

Working well for you, I see

It's pretty clear that you're very sad and lonely. Maybe if you were a nice person then that wouldn't be the case.

And be careful, that bitterness will be ageing you overnight.

Food for thought @Anonanonon, nice post 👍

Shocker - there are cheating married men on Tinder

OP, you sound conceited, coming on MN to inform ‘everyone’ their husbands are cheating on them whilst simultaneously alerting everyone that you look 10 years younger and need a FWB..

The platform that you are using to meet people and the manner in which you have presented yourself on that platform, is what has attracted a certain type of man.

Yes, some people cheat, but no, not all do. The reason why you’re not seeing that many men don’t cheat, is simply because they aren’t messaging you are they. You’re only seeing the one type.

I don’t check up on my husband for three reasons:

1. He never hides anything. Wallet, phone, iPad, laptop etc all get left lying around. We share passwords and if I so wanted to use one of his devices, they are available for my full usage at any time, with him present or not.

1. My husband is a home-bird. He never goes out. He does not go to the pub; he does not meet up with friends; he does not even attend a gym. He loves being home and his favourite thing to do is snuggle on the sofa, watching a movie. If he does go out, it’s to work or with me. We live in each other’s pockets, but it’s fine, we’ve been like that for 25 years and it suits us.

1. I trust him. I have no reason not too. I feel absolutely adored by him and I know how much he values our family, something he didn’t have as a child himself.

I imagine it must be much, much harder to stay faithful if you marry your first boyfriend.

My husband was my first boyfriend, who I started dating at school, at age 15. We have been together 25 years and I believe we were made for each other. He is my world and I would never even contemplate cheating on him. Our sex life is great and I can’t imagine anyone else being ‘better than’ my husband.
I look at him and see, absolutely everything I have ever wanted.