Anyone else seperating/divorce at the moment?

[31weeksgone]

It was my decision, but feeling awfully lonely and constantly nearly giving him cuddles etc, just because I want someone to scoop me up and tell me it’ll all be ok.

It’s 100% the right thing to do, he was abusive for years, and me and my DC move out in three or so weeks. However walking away from 8 years of life and memories is making me so emotional, I cry at the drop of a hat, and the thought of nights without my DC makes me sob.

I know I’ll be ok, but I’m so lonely, and feel like my only friend has gone. Haven’t got anyone to talk to. Is anyone else in the same position? Also the thought of moving house in 2 weeks is making me so nervous, I’ve never done a big move before.

sorry your going through this. I was in the same position last year, leaving a 12 year LTR.

it is hard and you will be lonely, I still am and dont know what to do when my dd is at her dads but it is all worth it. I am in general much happier tho and my dd is too.

I'm not really sure what else to say except that it will be ok. Do you have any friends you can talk to? I didnt really, I'd just have a little cry some nights when dd was in bed and it made me feel better.

I am, my husband is leaving me and moving out in the next couple of weeks. It's amicable but I'm terrified of being alone and the financial impact.

It's something I'm seriously contemplating right now and I'm terrified

I seperated 3 years ago and only moved out last February because he refused to move out and I couldnt afford to buy him out. The divorce is still going on. Honestly, you will be fine, I am skint and need to watch every penny but I am free and happy and have such a nicer life, the kids are so much happier as well. I don't know how I got through the last 10 years but I did. I've built a much better life for myself now and he's still a miserable cunt in his big fancy house.

You'll be fine, I promise. We all deserve to be happy xx

Similar situation here. I get the pain you are going through. Feel free to PM anytime.

Me, it’s been awful, he is tearing me to shreds. Sorry you are also struggling x

Yes, my marriage of 19 years ended last year. He was also a bad bet and it was the right thing to do, but it was till horrible and I felt bizarrely responsible for his happiness.
Of course it isn't easy and despite the bad times there have been good and you have been each others support for a long time. What you are feeling is perfectly normal.
It is hard for the DC, but try and stay positive for them and make a pact that neither of you will put them under emotional pressure. They'll soon adapt then, they just want to see you happy so they don't have to worry about either of you.
Good luck, it'll be okay, everything takes its own time.

Me. My exH moved out in October and has been living with his new girlfriend and her family since December. I should perhaps feel sad (and I certainly did at first) but every day I wake up feeling free and happier than I have in years.

Life is so much easier in lots of ways. There are hard bits, not least around finances and being a single parent. But it’s mostly hugely positive.

Good luck to you. I wish you happiness even though I know it’s scary and painful right now.

I've been separated for five years, just going through divorce now for a number of reasons (mostly money-related). It feels awful at the beginning, but it really does get easier as time goes on. Dont just sit at home fretting though - take up a new fitness regime, practise your make-up skills, re-vamp your wardrobe, re-decorate your bedroom. Anything, basically, to re-establish yourself as YOU.

Found out my partner of 14 years has been having an affair last week. It feels like I’ve been stabbed. I told him he had to move out, which he has, but I know the feeling that you want them to hug you to make it better but it won’t as they are the ones that hurt you. I have to believe the feelings will go and we will get better.

Hi @31weeksgone I absolutely understand what you are saying, I'm in a very similar position. Been living together whilst for 18 months and he's finally looking at houses and I've got decree nisi and lodged a consent order with the court. Its the right thing, he was EA and very unsupportive and unpleasant for long periods but I still feel very sad and nervous and yes need a hug! I have had to stop myself from showing any affection as he reads too much into it 🙄 sending you a hug instead, good luck 💐

Wow, I didn’t expect to get so much support and lovely encouraging responses, hope everyone else on this thread that needed to hear it takes some comfort from them too. Thank you everyone. He’s been horribly emotionally abusive tonight too, so even though I feel lonely I cannot wait to be free.

I’m so sad some of you are suffering so much as well. We can get through this and we will.

I'm at decree nisi stage. My husband gave me no warning and just decided to take the decision for both of us. I think what spurred him on was the rekindled relationship with his cousin who he then shagged. Honestly. I feel broken and that I don't really want to go on in life. It's probably the worst period of my entire life. You are not alone in this xxx

So sorry you've had a difficult evening, it's hard when they're emotionally abusive. My STBX is being pretty offensive at the moment because he keeps trying it on and I'm just not interested, just need him to move out now! We will get through and one day we'll look back and breathe a massive sigh of relief. 🍷 and 🍫 for all xxx

Yep, I've just had the chat.. it's been brewing for over 2 yrs and I want him gone. He cheat and and tried to forgive.. it didn't work (shocker) I'm done and need to get me and my children out this sorry mess and god help me I will. Hugs, you are most definitely not alone xx

Some days are truly awful. Others are OK and a few are good.
If you have a good support network you will be fine.
I lost friends when we separated and I can never forget how they made me feel. I felt so hurt and lonely.
I've had a cry today because I feel sad and that I'm alone and I've had a few little things happen this week that I wanted to discuss / ask for advice and I've not got any one person to support me.

Do not jump into another relationship. Get to know yourself again. Good luck

Sounds like we are all having a horrible time of it! I'm just trying to take a day at a time. Not a lot of folk know my situation so not sure if it will be harder or easier when I can tell other people.

@Whatabambam you will get through this!

@Livandme sounded like you got rid of waste of space friends, hope you're ok and can come on here when you need too

I was married for 9 years. Currently divorcing. I cheated. There was no affection from my husband. But no excuse. Paying dearly for it now as im realising everything now its to late to go back.

My husband moved out 5 weeks ago. One son, currently pregnant with second. Things have escalated very quickly, it's brutal and scary but also freeing and good. You're not alone, I'm completely all over the place but I know that this needs to happen. Take care x

Build your self worth and resilience.

Sorry I never replied, it’s hard with him still around constantly. I’m just keeping myself as busy as I can until D Day to sign the solicitor documents then it’s officially done. 1 weekand counting until the signing and 2 weeks until I move fingers crossed. Sending love and hope to all of you in similar positions.

I’ve told barely anyone either, our parents know and a few very close friends. For some reason I’m terrified of telling anyone else, prefer it stays private for now.

Everything in your own time. It took me a long time to tell people. Just do whatever feels most comfortable for you, you have to be gentle with yourself right now. xx

Hi everyone

Separated 2 months ago after 22 years of marriage and 30 years together, 2 DD 19 and 16. My decision I moved out but had not been truly happy for a long long time. No-ones fault nothing gory to tell feel like I just changed and he was meeting my emotional needs anymore.

That said its very very difficult I feel sad, depressed, lonely, scared like Ive lost my best friend and cant stop thinking about him, DD's, my old life, the good times. Makes me want to run back to him. But I know I left for a reason so I'm trying to stick to my guns. He wants to try again, hes having counselling as am I and he wants to go to marriage counselling, wants me back etc etc etc.

I'm really not coping at the moment anxiety through the roof not sleeping not eating bloody truly feeling awful.

Someone tell me it gets better please