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Original poster

What would you think of this situation?

52 replies

Piratepolly · 16/07/2020 15:48

Man has a year long affair with OW then leaves wife and teenage children. He goes to stay with OW, then because of lockdown has nowhere else to go so moves in. Man's family including siblings and parents want nothing to do with OW and refuse to let her come to their houses.

During the affair and lockdown Man has told everyone about what a great person the OW is. Would not hear a word of criticism about her and defended her all the time. OW wants to get married, Man considering it.

Now in last few months things have changed. He has started criticising OW to others and her opinions. Doesn't seem to value her viewpoint as much anymore. Is now actively looking for somewhere else to stay and seems to take any opportunity to be out of the house. Now talking about wanting to get own place.

What is yout read on this situation?

OP posts:
UranusAttacks · 16/07/2020 15:51

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

Bettysprocker · 16/07/2020 15:53

I'd think he liked her as a bit on the side but she got what she should have expected.

Janus · 16/07/2020 15:53

Yep, the reality wasn’t what he thought it would be.

Toilenstripes · 16/07/2020 15:55

He got to know her better and realised he didn’t like her, let alone love her.

HH160bpm · 16/07/2020 15:58

Throw the whole man away.

AlternativePerspective · 16/07/2020 15:59

The number of affairs which last when one partner leaves their spouse to be with AP is incredibly low. About 5% beyond the first year IIRC.

Thing is that an affair is a fantasy. It’s being together sexually, maybe emotionally but with none of the day to day stuff. And then when they move in together it becomes the same monotony that they left to be there....

TwentyViginti · 16/07/2020 16:02

Shiny new woman not as shiny to him now it's gone all domestic.

Mummyof2girls5and10 · 16/07/2020 16:02

Its not exciting for him now shes not a secret. Now he's bored and regretting what he's done. Idiot

weathervane1 · 16/07/2020 16:08

Are you the OW?

weathervane1 · 16/07/2020 16:09

...and what's your reading of the situation?

LonginesPrime · 16/07/2020 16:09

Selfish man has affair.

Selfish man moves in with affair partner because he has nowhere else to go.

Selfish man gets grief from friends and family.

Selfish man decides relationship with AP is not worth the hassle.

Selfish man ditches AP.

All seems standard, OP..

The only bit that's in the AP's control is how they view this - OP, you seem to see this all from the selfish man's perspective.

It's natural that the selfish man would be at the centre of his own universe but why is he at the centre of yours? I'm not sure who you are in this scenario but whether you're the wife or the AP, the idea that the AP is defined by her relationship to him (his OW, as if women are interchangeable) makes it clear that this man seems to be the centre of your universe too.

Just cut the waste of space loose.

Wearywithteens · 16/07/2020 16:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Original poster
Piratepolly · 16/07/2020 16:25

Man has left marriage regardless of outcome with OW so no move towards going back.

OP posts:
Cabinfever10 · 16/07/2020 16:25

I expect the wife will be getting a sob story soon about what a terrible mistake he made and how it's all the evil OWs fault. No doubt he will claim he's changed.
I just hope that his wife tells him to fuck off

GilbertMarkham · 16/07/2020 16:26

That he realised grass wasn't greener and wants to be single (or single with the option of sex,company etc on tap when fancies it so will strong ow along).

Also that he can't be bothered with the hassle re not being able to easily, happily integrate ow into his family.

Cabinfever10 · 16/07/2020 16:29

@Piratepolly
How do you know that? If it's from him l wouldn't trust anything he says as he's a proven liar

Original poster
Piratepolly · 16/07/2020 16:32

Because he has started divorce proceedings and is pushing it through.

OP posts:
Morgan12 · 16/07/2020 16:33

Man has realised he has fucked up. Man no longer likes OW. OW was just a shag and he was forced into a relationship. Man has made mistake. Man will try and get his wife back.

MiniCooperLover · 16/07/2020 16:33

I would say the wife had a lucky escape when he walked !!

AnnaNimmity · 16/07/2020 16:38

grass isn't greener after all. Will probably try to get back with exWife soon and/or claim breakdown/depression/midlife crisis.

Original poster
Piratepolly · 16/07/2020 16:42

Definitely know divorce proceedings are in full swing. Wife is now locked in battle with Man and is not responding to solicitors letters to discuss finance agreement.

Man's family are in contact with wife because of children and she has told them from her side what is happening.

He is definitely not going back to his wife.

OP posts:
Sunnydayshereatlast · 16/07/2020 16:47

Man has /will get his comeuppance...

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 16/07/2020 16:48

What's your read of the situation OP?

I think LonginesPrime has nailed it. The man's a shit. He's been a shit to his wife and kids and now he's being a shit to you...ooops, I mean the "OW" Hmm

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 16/07/2020 16:50

Good chance he's having another affair, even if he's not, the ow is probably better off getting rid now, as he will eventually.

GCHWho · 16/07/2020 16:56

Previously fun time lady likes person who lives in her house to put in domestic, financial and emotional effort and BAM the romance is gone !