Was he cheating?

[Ilovechoccake]

So, I suspect partner was seeing his work colleague (I know her from my area) as he often lit up when speaking of her etc. I’d Stopped getting texts at work, he changed his phone password and was very cautious of me using his phone. A couple of weeks ago my partner got a new job, he left without reason really just said he wanted a change.

Prior to this he wasn’t as interested in sex etc and wasn’t as affectionate as he usually is. Now this woman he works with was all over his Facebook loving his posts etc (I’ve had her on there for quite a few years so can see everything) also when I had a look at his phone I saw he had enabled secret messaging on his phone. Anyway this woman is very on and off with partner, she posted something about her partners birthday and that she loved him and my OH deleted her the same day she had posted and this is when he switched jobs? Since then she’s been all over my posts loving them and liking some of his compliments on my pictures... he’s been very interested in sex since switching jobs, and he’s been a lot more affectionate etc. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting? Part of me thinks I am, part not.

Also maybe TMI but he’s got significantly better at certain things in the bedroom, I was quite surprised to last time we got intimate. It was almost like being with another man!!

Ive recently been cheated on OP,
It sounds like he is. Sorry to say :(

PM me if you want any help! :)

P. S he denied EVERYTHING too (they're notorious for trying to hide stuff. Took me 3 weeks to get the truth (still denying some stuff but I have it in black and white!)
Handhold
Its awful... BUT just remember you're worth so much more than her! X

Thank you so much!! 💖

Oh sorry Ilovechocolate, I thought you meant that she had videos of her on her story of her using a similar quad last night and that they'd found it together...which would be stealing if he kept it.....

but it makes more sense that she gave it to him.

I'm sorry you're going through this. What are you planning on doing?

Sorry just noticed your update.

The other thing is that you deleted her off social media and she would definitely know that because she's probably always checking to see what you're up to...he might not know if she didn't tell him that she noticed....so she definitely doesn't care if you are suspicious or not and probably wants you to find out.

They have no shame, OP. OW was taunting you with that photo and P had an agenda to take you to the same venue.

After you rumbled him about their date, he used stonewalling and name-calling to make you shut up and back off. Sending him away was a smart move.

Yeah I have read that new/enhanced sexual skills and style is a cheating sign.

If he's not been cheating, he's somehow ticked every single flag for cheating. But I'm sorry, it v much seems like he has.

He's not going to be honest with you until he's made a solid decision to leave you, and even then he may well not be honest to preserve his image, keep you as an option etc.etc.

I just don’t have time for games! I have 3 children a 3 and 4 year old and a 4 month old baby... my mentality at the moment is if they want each other, have each other and see if it lasts. They’re both very immature!

He cheated . Listen to your gut

Op what a position, and what an (apparently) absolute bastard, scumbag of a husband you've been saddled with.

All I can say is sit down and work out what you would do and how you would manage if he leaves or if you throw him out. Citizens advice can be very helpful in going through financials etc. Maybe talk to a good family solicitor about your position too, some do first session free, (obviously check cause I've idiotically got stung assuming they did and then got above hefty bill).

I believe the starting point is 50-50 for assets.

You'll then get UC if your salary is low enough, housing allowance (not ojna mortgage though (they will make mortgage payments after 9 months I think but you have to pay them back, they're a loan), maybe council tax rebate, child benefit, help with uniforms, help with school meals, and most helpful 85% of childcare costs if you're getting UC (capped at around a grand for two or more kids, check online) from registered provider, plus whatever child maintenance you can get out of him, calculator is online.

Get yourself set up.

It would also be wonderful if you could get some surveillance on him to conform all these indications. I think there are threads about techie ways to try to see his Comms. Good old fashioned investigator might be useful but not sure how expensive.

He's been cheating op. You'd be better off without that loser.

Sorry, I thought you were married which is why I said s starting point of 50-50 for division of assets but it's looks like he's your partner, do I'm not sure you'll.get anything out of him other than child maintenance and your portion of house equity if your name is on mortgage.

I’ve had a look at his phone (he’s changed passwords to every single sm account he has) and he downloaded three apps in feb (on his old phone) which shows up on the cloud and they were secret apps and secret photos !

I couldn’t find anything as he’s not re installed on his new phone. I was pregnant then 😥

@Ilovechoccake I'm so sorry to hear. What's the plan now?

What a bastard he is.

Sorry he has turned out to be a twat

Sorry to see your update op