Recently met someone on a dating app, went on several dates over 3 weeks, he implied he was looking for something serious then more or less ghosted. Was quite hurt. He was seriously not over his ex.
As that came to an end, I began chatting to someone else who messaged every day for a couple of weeks, very frequently. We had a fair bit in common and met for the first time last week, spending 5 hours just chatting over drinks and food. He was quite forthright about wanting to pay. I wasnt sure how he felt about me but he kickstarted convo next day and said he'd bring a fancy picnic to the park for us. Our next date was wine-fuelled, we chatted for 8 hours then he took me to his and cooked for me. Spent about 20 hours together all in. I didnt dtd but stayed over and he was kind and respectful, didnt hurry me out the next morning.
On our dates, I was unsure if he was into me but he initiated physical contact and also paid for things/prolonged the date/asked lots of questions. He is in a listening profession and things between us got very deep very quickly (I think also lockdown/emotions running high/alcohol). I let him in on some quite serious areas of my life e.g. family things, relationship history and he told me about his. I did get tipsy and probably say too much but it felt very natural at the time and he behaved in a very caring way. I also listened to him. I really felt like we had developed emotional intimacy very quickly combined with the fact that seemed to like a lot of the same things, so conversation was very easy.
He mentioned a few times how he had said one-off details to his friends about me e.g. my name, occupation, what we had done on the date.
We hadnt had the "what are you looking for" chat but he kept mentioning previous gfs/girls who were wrong for him but who he had pursued cos they were "exceptionally beautiful" (worth saying he never said anything like that to me haha)/girls who he really got on with who had implied they were looking for more... Essentially seemed like he was looking for a connection. He made a big thing out of the fact I hadn't had any long-term relationships, asking why and commenting on the fact I had been dating lots of d*heads in the past.
Things seemed in short that they had the potential to go somewhere and I felt like he was behaving in a caring and considerate way at the start.
I left his house on the weekend and immediately felt like something was a bit off, despite the fact he treated me very well. We didnt dtd and he was super respectful (I asked to take it slow and probably acted a bit inhibited about it all, freaked out a bit) but he was understanding and kind. Next morning, he made an offhand comment about a dream he had where his cards in poker had been flipped/he had shown his hand and got angry as he wanted his money back. He's very perceptive and in my head I drew a clear parallel between that and how I had behaved/he had behaved by buying everything. Nevertheless he made me a hot drink and didnt rush me out.
He stopped messaging as much and near on ghosted the next day, prompting me to restart the convo. Eventually and hours later I got a message saying "I feel a bit awkward saying it but I just wanted to say while I had a great time when we have met, I dont think Id be up for anything more serious right now and thought Id make that clear so I dont give the wrong impression"
I felt like this message was building but feel also like how could I could have got it so wrong? How do I reply? I would be up for seeing him again as friends but that sounds a little OTT and I feel like my pride has taken a massive knock too