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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband on kik

30 replies

Rebuildtrust · 12/07/2020 08:40

Married for 10 years, together almost doubmMy husband's smart watch was vibrating like mad yesterday so I picked it up to see if it was broken. I saw lots of notification from porn groups, whilst the titles were unpleasant and degrading to women I didn't see anything illegal or nasty.

I asked dh about it immediately and he said it was the kik app and he had redownloaded it to look at porn. He says he downloaded it initially to look at porn that was more normal people. We've had problems with our sex life recently which dh has put down to anxiety, he's been experiencing ED.

He swears he hasn't been sexting or anything and that he's just been looking at images. I asked him to give me his login so that I could see that and we can move forward and he said he immediately deleted his username as he was so embarrassed. He had used it previously and deleted it, but then decided to. Redownloaded it. He was flooded with notifications for new images which is why his watch went crazy.

I don't particularly like that he uses porn, he confessed that he uses it most days as a bit of an escape from his mental health problems as he struggles with depression and anxiety. I hate that he's used it to the detriment of our sex life. He says he is going to stop using it and stop drinking too as that's another crutch. I've said that he doesn't particularly need to stop either entirely but that it's the overuse which is a problem. I think he needs to get help with his mental health.

I want to help him and I don't want to drag him over the coals just for using porn, but I feel hurt. It would have been so much better if I could see that he wasn't sexting. I've found him using porn two or three times before and whilst I don't like it, it's his choice as long as it doesn't affect us.

I want to move forward, but I don't know how.

OP posts:
Rebuildtrust · 12/07/2020 08:41

Sorry, married for 10 years, together almost double that and have 2 young children. First sentence didn't make sense.

This all happened yesterday

OP posts:
PicsInRed · 12/07/2020 08:44

Kik is a well know cheater app.

If I remember correctly, it can facilitate hidden conversations?

I would be making plans to extract myself if I found kik on the phone of the father of my children. If I found it on the phone of a man I had no permanent ties to, I would simply leave immediately.

blubberball · 12/07/2020 08:45

Sounds like he needs proper counselling and therapy, and it is absolutely not your job to fix him. You can support him, but it's ultimately his responsibility to recognise his problems and sort himself out.

hopingtobedally · 12/07/2020 08:46

You're not bothered about his drink problem or porn problem? Aim higher. Life is short

MsTSwift · 12/07/2020 08:52

He sounds bloody awful sorry

Rebuildtrust · 12/07/2020 08:56

He's totally ashamed and embarrassed, hasn't tried to defend it at all and is sorry. He told me everything when I asked, no denying it etc.

Surely it counts for something. I'm here looking for suggestions on how to work together on his mental health and rebuild the trust that's been broken.

OP posts:
newnamenewgamenewpain · 12/07/2020 08:59

I think if he has been honest, you can rebuild. I have no advice but just wanted to show some support.
Not all porn users are cheating bastards

Mama05 · 12/07/2020 09:10

My ex was using Kik and if you log in from
Another device it will automatically wipe all conversations. The only clue you have to who they have been chatting to is the recent chat heads.

Closetbeanmuncher · 12/07/2020 09:11

Aim higher. Life is short This with bells on!

Pornhub is absolutely full of homemade videos from amateurs and couples etc, so I don't believe this for a second.

I think this is prob the route of the ED unless he takes meds for depression in which case it may have something to do with that, or possibly brewers droop.

as long as it doesn't affect us

This is no longer the case, as clearly its having a profound effect on your sex life, that's when it would cross over into problem territory for me.

There's only one reason to delete the kik username, and embarrassment isn't it.
You can brush it under the carpet if you choose to, but you can't truly move forward if he's not prepared to tell the truth.

The drinking plus the above would be a deal breaker for me. I think you should plan your exit in honesty.

forrandomposts · 12/07/2020 09:15

If he's getting notifications then he has an account and a username he can share. So why won't he?

Chocolate123 · 12/07/2020 09:19

I'm not sure about watching porn on kik my only experience was when I started OLD many guys asked to use it and I found out later mainly they were married. It's well known for cheating sexting and sending pictures. Very convenient that he deleted when you asked.

romdowa · 12/07/2020 09:26

I've never heard of kik being used for porn. It's a chat app, where you chat with others using usernames rather than phone number. I'm sorry but I think his embarrassment is more to do with being caught out and trying to lie his way out of it

Headandheart · 12/07/2020 09:29

Why is he using kik for porn when there are so many dedicated porn websites? Don’t believe it sorry. It’s for chatting without giving out your number.

dreamingmama · 12/07/2020 09:29

I think you are Under some illusion.

Kik is a chat app. So whatever porn he's receiving is problem actually dirty videos and pics from actual women he's chatting too.

He's lying to you because he knows your dumb enough to believe it.

I'm sorry I'm being harsh but honestly reading your post just feels like I'm watching some one be taken advantage off. (Well your love definitely is being taken advantage off)

Headandheart · 12/07/2020 09:29

I think you’re being too understanding. Tell him he’s out of order.

glitterfarts · 12/07/2020 09:31

His porn use IS affecting you. Erectile dysfunction is a well known side effect from over-use of porn.

KIK is a cheaters app as others have said.
He's deleted as he doesn't want you to see the evidence.
At best he's sexting others.

The best time to leave a cheater (physical or emotional) is right now. The older the kids, the harder it is.

SortingItOut · 12/07/2020 09:42

I have kik and used it when i was on dating sites looking for casual sex, personally i used it when i didnt want to give out my phone number.
If a man suggested it, it was usually because he was not single.

I've never known or seen any way to view porn through it except if someone sent it to me.

Deleting his account is a common tactic becsuse now there is no evidence, my ex used to do the same when i caught him out sexting and having emotional affairs.

My ex also used the excuse that his depression made him do it.

If you want to get to the bottom of his ED and he doesnt then i think you have your answer - he knows the reasons and foesnt care enough about your marriage to stop.

passthemustard · 12/07/2020 09:43

Even if he has been chatting to other people on this app it doesn't mean he doesn't love you or want to work things out.

Yes he needs help with his mental health but I think you also need couples counselling. I've used relate in the past and if you're both open and honest it can really help.

They might tell you to wait until he has seen his GP and is well established on a medication first. (If that's the route you go)

Using porn is ok occasionally but chatting to other women is over stepping the mark. So let him know that it's not ok and if it happens again you'll be rethinking the relationship.

Buggedandconfused · 12/07/2020 09:49

Kik is not for watching porn, it’s for communicating with individuals or maybe groups. It’s the go-to messaging app for people who hook up on sex sites like Fab Swingers or Illicit Encounters, for example. It gives the user total anonymity as no phone number is used.

The fact he deleted it immediately shows he was NOT just using it for watching porn - the porn he will have been watching will have been from another woman - videos or images.

He’s a lying scumbag. Stay at your peril!!

Buggedandconfused · 12/07/2020 09:51

You can’t fix these men, why would you want to try? He’s irreparably damaged the integrity of your relationship and trust. It doesn’t get better.

backseatcookers · 12/07/2020 09:51

So let him know that it's not ok and if it happens again you'll be rethinking the relationship.

But don't you think that after 20 years together, OP's husband full well knew that it's not ok?! I couldn't be with someone who needed that spelling out to them. He knew it was risking the relationship because it's a form of cheating. He either didn't care enough not to risk it, didn't think he'd get caught or just doesn't think OP will leave him whether he does shit like this or not.

Carrotgirl87 · 12/07/2020 09:55

Just confirming what others have said...

Kik is a chat app, not a porn app. Like WhatsApp but with more secrecy. The only porn he will be seeing is from people he is directly chatting with that send him it.

Sorry OP Thanks

Rebuildtrust · 12/07/2020 09:57

Thanks everyone for your advice.. I don't know yet what I'm going to do but I want to delete the thread as I don't want dh to find it. Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
hopingtobedally · 12/07/2020 10:02

He's totally ashamed and embarrassed, hasn't tried to defend it at all and is sorry. He told me everything when I asked, no denying it etc.

Sorry sweetheart but they always are when they are caught. If he was so ashamed/embarrassed why didn't he confess rather than saying all this only when caught

tarasmalatarocks · 12/07/2020 16:02

I think Kik is being used to sex chat or receive pics and videos from others- possibly ‘professionals’ - he clearly thinks you wouldn’t understand or know what it is- I’m really sorry OP, it’s so shit I know. These habits are really hard to get rid of too once they get on that treadmill- it’s like drugs

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