Married for 10 years, together almost doubmMy husband's smart watch was vibrating like mad yesterday so I picked it up to see if it was broken. I saw lots of notification from porn groups, whilst the titles were unpleasant and degrading to women I didn't see anything illegal or nasty.
I asked dh about it immediately and he said it was the kik app and he had redownloaded it to look at porn. He says he downloaded it initially to look at porn that was more normal people. We've had problems with our sex life recently which dh has put down to anxiety, he's been experiencing ED.
He swears he hasn't been sexting or anything and that he's just been looking at images. I asked him to give me his login so that I could see that and we can move forward and he said he immediately deleted his username as he was so embarrassed. He had used it previously and deleted it, but then decided to. Redownloaded it. He was flooded with notifications for new images which is why his watch went crazy.
I don't particularly like that he uses porn, he confessed that he uses it most days as a bit of an escape from his mental health problems as he struggles with depression and anxiety. I hate that he's used it to the detriment of our sex life. He says he is going to stop using it and stop drinking too as that's another crutch. I've said that he doesn't particularly need to stop either entirely but that it's the overuse which is a problem. I think he needs to get help with his mental health.
I want to help him and I don't want to drag him over the coals just for using porn, but I feel hurt. It would have been so much better if I could see that he wasn't sexting. I've found him using porn two or three times before and whilst I don't like it, it's his choice as long as it doesn't affect us.
I want to move forward, but I don't know how.