Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

She insists to keep me as a friend?

48 replies

MrCKF · 10/07/2020 20:05

Long story short, there was a girl I went out with a few days ago. It was our first date, she was very affectionate, she hugged my arm and leaned on my body while we were walking at the street. She even paid for the hotel for us to stay for a night, she even gave me her first no condom sex.

But next day, before I left we had a long talk. She said she really like me, but there is something on me she doesn't like as much, which it makes her struggle if she wants to be with me or not. Meanwhile she is busy with her research as a PhD student, she has literally no time to do other stuff she even gives up her workout.

So she insists on keeping me as a friend. She emphasized she really cherished me and she felt really lucky to meet me, but she is now really not in the mood for relationship and she has no time to know more about me. That night, despite the fact that she needed to meet her supervisor in the next early morning, she still stayed on the call with me for 6hrs during midnight in order to sort out this matter.

So whats going on in her mind?

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 10/07/2020 20:07

She can't insist on keeping you as a friend if thats not what you want.

If you don't why her as s friend...let her know that doesn't work for you and block her.

iamtheoneandonlyyy · 10/07/2020 20:09

Her first no condom sex? Great idea

Crystalspider · 10/07/2020 20:11

She just wanted sex, you don't need to be her friend, I'd expect she'll only use you as an ego boost whenever she feels like it.
Block her and move on

edwinbear · 10/07/2020 20:19

She’s looking for a fuck buddy. If you’re OK with that then carry on.

Dery · 10/07/2020 20:43

As someone who came of age in the 1980s, I cannot understand how anyone would have condom-free sex outside a relationship. Okay, HIV infection may no longer be the death sentence it was but there are still some nasty infections out there which have very unpleasant symptoms and can cause infertility.

You know nothing about this girl’s history. Yes, maybe you were the first but she’s just as likely to have lied about that - after all, why in particular should she go condom free with you on a first date? She’s clearly okay about condom free sex outside a relationship and that should alarm you (just as it should have worried her that you were willing to do it).

You’ve been very naive. Perhaps she wants a baby and is just trying to get pregnant. And you should get yourself checked out for STIs.

backseatcookers · 10/07/2020 20:46

She even paid for the hotel for us to stay for a night, she even gave me her first no condom sex.

This is so romantic Thanks

Christ.

HollowTalk · 10/07/2020 20:46

Why would you have sex without a condom just because someone was unhinged enough to suggest it?

Glitterbiscuits · 10/07/2020 20:56

Maybe she wanted a baby?

Butterer · 10/07/2020 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rvby · 10/07/2020 21:02

What she insists on doesn't matter... you get to decide who you're friends with.

She sounds like a manipulative, unpleasant person.

Hiccupiscal · 10/07/2020 21:06

.....let's hope she not after a sperm donor she can keep as a "friend" eh?

Daft idea. Bag up, mate. All kinds of crazy out there...

You've been friend zoned for whatever reason. Drop it. If being friends won't work for you, block, delete. Move on to someone who does want you.

The reasons not to continue done wash... it is a simple as the saying goes "she's just not that into you" .... you only have to look at the masses of post on here agonising about men and dates to know.... if a woman is interested, truly, she won't be playing games.

Good luck op, and ffs - put something on the end of your knob. ALWAYS

Hiccupiscal · 10/07/2020 21:08

Ps. Get an STD check...

ThanosSavedMe · 10/07/2020 21:11

Let’s hope she was looking for a sperm donor

IndecentFeminist · 10/07/2020 21:14

Honestly, after one date you needed to talk for 6 hrs to accept that she wouldn't be with you?

Bunnymumy · 10/07/2020 21:18

Eww...why wouldn't you use a condom with someone you barely know?

She could be after a baby or anything.
Sounds like she just wants a friend with benefits though. If you dont want to be that, use the word 'no' and move on.

sangrias · 10/07/2020 21:18

Sounds a bit loopy tbh.

Bunnymumy · 10/07/2020 21:19

sounds a bit loopy tbh

So does he tbf xD

CodenameVillanelle · 10/07/2020 21:20

Why did you have no condom sex on a first date? You idiot

12345ct · 10/07/2020 21:25

Is this post real?

Butterer · 10/07/2020 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tsubasa1 · 10/07/2020 21:29

Congratulations on becoming a father!!

Closetbeanmuncher · 10/07/2020 21:30

she even gave me her first no condom sex

Oh dear 😳

That was with almost complete certainty not her first 'no condom sex'

Get an STD test.

Phossy · 10/07/2020 21:31

Get yourself down the STD clinic forthwith. You both sound unhinged.

LillianBland · 10/07/2020 21:39

Ohh what fun. Which do you prefer, OP a good old dose of VD or paying maintenance?

JorisBonson · 10/07/2020 21:55

Wow.