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Original poster

Is he cheating update.

35 replies

Cat112344 · 07/07/2020 14:19

So a few weeks ago I posted about how I thought my OH could be getting lifts off another woman etc and he had been shaving etc down there. I found his old phone in his bedroom draw completely wiped. Still had his sim in though. I went onto his WhatsApp and saw he had about 12 numbers blocked. A few girls, one girl he had blocked on Facebook and on WhatsApp. I messaged her to ask how she knew him, she was immediately defensive and messaged my OH saying Your mrs is asking questions. I messaged her again to which she replied ‘he got fucked out’ (I know charming) after him denying saying he’d never cheat whatever I asked him to leave to
His mums for a bit. He’s been there 2 weeks. I’m heart broken . He can deny all he wants I know what happened and god knows how many more there’s been! Trying to stay strong, it’s so god damn hard 😭

OP posts:
Original poster
Cat112344 · 07/07/2020 14:21

Also he blocked her in December, I remember a time when he stayed out all night and came back looking so guilty! He couldn’t look at me and started crying for no reason but wouldn’t say why. She’s a right minger too😔

OP posts:
DoIneed1 · 07/07/2020 14:27

Oh well if she's a right minger then you have nothing to worry about with your prince amongst men, Op 🙄

Crystalspider · 07/07/2020 14:28

Did you ever find out who was giving him lifts, was it the female friend from work?
Sounds so shady, especially with the secret phone and blocked women.
So sorry you are going through this but you will come out the other side much stronger, don't put up with him any longer, he doesn't deserve a faithful wife and nice family, what a toad!

Original poster
Cat112344 · 07/07/2020 14:29

After I had started to ask questions the lifts stopped...

OP posts:
Original poster
Cat112344 · 07/07/2020 14:30

I didn’t mean it like that, I meant I can’t believe he’d ruin our relationship on someone that looks like her. No way was I saying he’s a prince amongst men. He’s a toad

OP posts:
MyOwnSummer · 07/07/2020 14:49

Sounds like you are well out of it. So sorry this has happened to you. There is no excuse for the way he behaved.

hopingtobedally · 07/07/2020 19:25

How nasty
Her looks are irrelevant

Babynumber2dueNov · 07/07/2020 19:54

I don’t think people should be jumping on OP for saying she was a ‘minger’, people say stuff and try to get their head around things like this. If we’re honest we’d all judge the appearance of someone our partner cheated with, wouldn’t we? Imagine the insecurities it would raise! Come on, we’re here to support! You’re doing the right thing OP, you know that- even through the pain. You’ll find real happiness eventually ❤️ You’ll get there. Focus on you, learn what makes you happy. Have you tried the headspace app? It’s brilliant for some you time x

Original poster
Cat112344 · 07/07/2020 23:55

Thankyou babynumber2duenov💗💗💗💗

OP posts:
CardsforKittens · 08/07/2020 00:12

Speaking as a right minger, I agree that somehow it can feel worse if your partner cheats with someone less attractive than you, because this whole society is built on equating women’s worth with their attractiveness.

Is it over OP? Have you told him not to come back?

waitingforthestan · 08/07/2020 00:14

Op nothing wrong with calling her a minger.

Why do you have to Be all nice?... your hurt and mad!

Especially when the other women are always quick to say ' well if you kept him happy he wouldn't come to me'

I was giving my exdp everything, still shagging and looking good but he went for a Mingers too! Worse thing was when I text these women to ask if they knew him, I was nice as he was the real issue not them, ( though freely sending your fanny to some random bloke isn't my thing but hey)

Everyone single one replied with' why the hell did he cheat on you? Your beautiful 🙄'

That really pissed me off, cause I wasn't bring pretty to the relationship, I was bring love and support.

And they do it cause they can.
Because they don't give a hoot what a women looks like in getting them off

Natsel84 · 08/07/2020 00:19

Nah she's not a minger... she's bacteria .
Your well rid. Whatever the excuse . Do not take Mr bacteria back either .

wewillmeetagain · 08/07/2020 00:21

They ALWAYS downgrade

Sillymee · 08/07/2020 01:52

Surprised that people are jumping on your for calling her a minger when she knowingly slept with a man who she knew had a girlfriend and even tipped him off you were asking questions.. trashy!! And he is a complete joke, you are well rid. He will never admit to cheating and you will never know the extent of how many times and people etc, but does it even matter? You know in your gut he has, she’s admitted he got ‘fucked out’ 🤦🏼‍♀️And he didn’t block random girls for no reason. Move on and live your life without him! Lots of love xx

Original poster
Cat112344 · 08/07/2020 02:19

Thanks so much ladies! You’ve made me feel 100x better 😅😅😅😅 xxxx

OP posts:
Monty27 · 08/07/2020 02:25

Deal breaker OP. Kick him to the kerb.

Hopeisnotastrategy · 08/07/2020 04:53

*@Cardsforkittens

Speaking as a right minger...*

🤣🤣🤣

Wonderful!

SandyY2K · 08/07/2020 07:35

He's not worth the headache and won't add value to your life. Just focus on your children and yourself from now on.

Sunshineandflipflops · 08/07/2020 09:04

People used to say my exh was 'punching above his weight' with me. I personally hate that term as it just bases a person's worth on their appearance (he was always more sociable and outgoing than me).

Anyway, he still cheated on me with someone who was very masculine looking. She was significantly younger though with no kids so probably made him feel young and carefree or some crap like that. Reality is that they split up after a couple of years and he is still a 40+ year old man with two kids.

I think it's about escapism from reality much of the time but you can't run from real life for ever.

dontgobaconmyheart · 08/07/2020 13:55

OP don't let yourself down by slating another womans looks. I know it's tempting to reduce things down to insults but we're all better than that. It isn't anything to do with it and the fact of the matter is he obviously doesn't agree with you does he. Though I'm sure he'll say he does, they always do. Funny how many men are wishing they could shag (or are actually shagging) women that are 'not at all their type' and 'ugly/fat' etc isn't it, at the same time as being desperate to get them in bed Hmm

He's trash, cheating is pathetic and embarrassing and he wouldn't have done it if he'd actually cared for you or respected you and she wouldn't have if she had decent self esteem and some self worth so you're well rid of the sorry pair of them.

PicsInRed · 08/07/2020 15:02

They affair down because they get more "admiration" and "gratitude". They are made to feel more attractive and don't feel self conscious they way they may with a particularly attractive and/or accomplished long term partner.

Call her what you like OP. It's your tragedy, deal with the immediate shock how you need to. Ignore the puritans. 💐

PopPopPopPopPop · 08/07/2020 15:32

@wewillmeetagain ain't that the truth

hopingtobedally · 08/07/2020 16:09

Not particularly true you see many threads where women are devastated because their partner/husband has ditched them for a better looking/younger model

Their looks are neither here nor there- they've cheated because they want the attention/like the buzz/are cheating bastards

waitingforthestan · 08/07/2020 16:48

@dontgobaconmyheart Op isn't letting herself down. We don't always have to be Nice when we have been hurt.

And they are begging theses women, with a few texts and FaceTime to get what they want which they will. No actually effort is put in

Don't be fooled by that because a man begging is part of the trap.

RantyAnty · 08/07/2020 20:03

He's the minger.

I wish women's words and feelings weren't policed so much. OP has been cheated on yet others come on to correct her speech.