Feelings of loneliness

[happyonmyown1000]

Hi OP's

I'm a single OP to my DD. My ex and I split our time with our dd 50/50 so I have a big chunk of time to myself. My family is very small and live 300 miles away. My friends are all in couples and only seem to invite other couples to social events. I work from home. My head office is 200 miles away so I don't get involved with social events at work either.
As lockdown eases and people around me start making plans to socialise I find myself feeling more isolated than ever.
I'm looking for ways to help myself to feel less lonely. Does anyone have any advice? Xx

I'd be interested in answers to your post as I struggle with loneliness too, for very similar reasons. All my friends are in couples and have very little time (which I totally understand). Before lockdown I downloaded the Meet Up app and went on one of the social events. I shall definitely do it again when they re-start even though it makes me very nervous! I'd love to learn how to enjoy my own company though and not feel so lonely when I have no plans. 💐 for you

@happyonmyown1000
Hello :) firstly what does DD stand for? Assuming ex partner but I see a lot of these oh here and I don't know what they all mean.

Im feeling very lonely at the moment, nothing seems to help long term, im not sure what's wrong I blame the pregnancy hormaoms for me but I think the lock down has really been hard for a lot of reasons and lots of people I know have really felt very lonely even now things are loosening up.
I don't know what will help apart for talking to people.
Even just on here having people to talk to might help.

Hi fairycake2 .... meet up is a good idea I'll give it a go. I'd also be very nervous but feel it might be worth a try. Thanks for the idea. Xx

Hi CharisA - dd is darling daughter 😊.
Are you a single parent? I'm really sorry you are feeling lonely too, it's not a nice feeling, made even more difficult for you with a new baby. 💐 💐. Sending flowers and love xxx

Hi CharisA - dd is darling daughter 😊.
Are you a single parent? I'm really sorry you are feeling lonely too, it's not a nice feeling, made even more difficult for you with a new baby. 💐 💐. Sending flowers and love xxx

I actually checked the op username because the first few sentences sounded as if I'd written them!

I don't have any advice as I am in a very similar position and am so lonely. I've just rejoined tinder but I doubt very much it will help.

I have days where I don't speak to another person now that I'm working from home. I could ring my parents but as no one is going out there's not much to chat about.

I have joined meet up in the past so I think I will give that another go.

Have you tried Meetup?
I am in a similar position, there are lots of local groups.
I started going just before lockdown and they were a great way to meet new people!
Just go along to one, even if you are not sure it's for you.

Get a dog. It is the best thing I ever done. Constant companion, gets you out and about at least 3 times a day, you talk to people you’d never in a million years thought you’d ever talk to. I’m never going to be without a dog.

I joined a running club, a book club, I got into cycling more.

Basically, you need a common interest with other people. Don’t be afraid to say yes. My running partner and I just went for a swim in the sea yesterday and we talked about trying kayaking in the next few weeks. She thought I was a bit funny when I texted her: wanna go for a dip in the sea? but she said yes, we had a fantastic time, she suggested we try sea kayaking and is looking into it for us.
Little steps :)

Same boat here.

Going to try meet-up, though we don’t have so many groups here. Running clubs, book clubs etc all suspended at the moment.

Doing lots of ‘work on myself’ after abusive relationship but it’s company I need really. No-one to go on a night out with.

I joined the gym, started going to a couple of classes and met people. I've found a couple of new friends and worked on myself in the process.

Really good advice BuddhaAtSea. Common interests are the thing that brings people together for sure. I definitely need to join some sort of shared interest group.

@Youreallyare - I'm staying away from dating apps, they've proven disastrous for me!! They do make you feel busier for a while but I've found online dating to be waisted energy and sometimes waisted money too. Xx

Hi! I often feel the same, I’m married with a child and have acquaintances more than close friends and I often feel lonely. I did download Meet up just before lockdown but never made it to an event. There aren’t that many groups near me, so I’ve contemplated creating my own, but don’t know if I have the courage to go through with it. I think you have to put yourself out there to make friends which can be hard but they won’t come knocking on your door! Definitely join some groups or sports clubs etc. xx

Hey,
I'm sorry you're feeling that way, it can really suck.
I used a mum friend app called peanut as I was feeling the same way with covid! Its basically mum tinder, matches you on location and interests. I was skeptical but I've actually found some people I really get on with and we intend to meet up when all this is eased.
peanut.app.link/yORwALobN7

Hope this helps, it's free so worth a shot 🤷‍♀️ x

I'm in the same boat as you OP. Meetups can be good- although there was one social meet up for people in Bristol that had over 200 people attending, all single- which I was terrified at the prospect of rolling up alone to. I have heard that these are meat markets anyway.

I'm joined a few meet up groups- hit and miss really as I don't find I have much in common, outside the actual group. Most are much younger and single, no children, or much older and I am in the middle; mid 30's and a teen son so organising things with them doesn't always pan out well for me.

I'm interested to see what tips we can get on this thread :)

Oh, I often wonder whether I should create a private facebook group for single women where we can share any dating disasters, generally pick each other up when we feel alone or lonely and deflated, and then meet up via zoom for a coffee.

My circumstances aren't the same as yours op but I am a sahm with 3 dcs. I have a few friends but I find my friends have lots of friends if that makes sense, so they are not always in close contact. When we see each other we can have a really good talk but I feel I am rotated as one friend amongst many, so I'm not necessarily the 'go to' friend. I have one friend with whom I share a common interest and it is this friend I am probably in touch with the most. I realised that although I enjoy my other friends company we don't really have shared interests (apart from children). Probably a part of me feels envious that I don't have more friends of my own but I have always channelled loads of energy into my family and before that work and never made friendships a priority. I also have hardly any extended family and I feel quite out on a limb. Plus I need to do a lot of work on myself and I'm waiting for some therapy which might help with this.

Buddha, ditto the dog. Haven't got one yet but intend to next year. Also, so envious you live near the sea and can go for a swim. I have a sea kayak but it's stuck in my garden like a big plastic ornament.

I have set myself a target of getting out a bit more. I experience anxiety but I figured that I am never going to make more friends if I don't do anything. Is it just a numbers game do you think - the more people you meet, the more likely you will befriend someone? Just waiting for lockdown to ease as the group I'm most interested in isn't meeting yet. Unfortunately, I feel pessimistic before I even begin along the lines of I'll never make anymore friends, this isn't exactly a good start is it.

Anyone from the northeast?

Anyone in East Kent?

Are there "meet up" friendship groups/threads on Mumsnet?
This topic comes up often. Maybe it's time to be more proactive and say where we're at and actually try and meet?

I moved to a new area just before the lockdown and have found it terribly isolating to not be able to socialise and actually become a part of my new community.
I'm also considering online dating for the sake of human interaction. To get a shag these days seems easier than a day out with a friend...

Hi OP's. Some great suggestions! I'll take a look at the Peanut app.
The comment about it being easier to get a shag than make a friend really made me laugh, so true though!
I would definitely join a zoom group, I know it would be better to meet in person but it seems difficult to find localised groups,I'm in the North!
I totally relate to the op with friends who have lots of friends, I'm in the same boat. Everyone seems so busy making time for their existing friends and extended family. Xx

I'm in Wales go figure ha ha

The lockdown is soooo difficult for me!
I'm currently in a difficult spot in life after a failed marriage that was followed by an abusive relationship that left me quite isolated. I'm generally outgoing and would need nothing more than "life" around me to forget about ex and start a new life! I feel though that all my preferred ways of socialising are taken away from me... I like a busy pub, a gig and loooove dancing in a nightclub. I always make connections with people that way and don't mind going alone at first, until I establish "my gang". But now... I'm bereft.
I'm early 30ies, have a kid. But I want to have friends, nights out, laughs! I'm not ready to make cheery morning chats with cute dog owners (cute dogs. if the owner is cute, that's a different story! ) my only human contact.

I have no family around.
And my only "friend" is my ex husband. That is not good!
Before the lockdown he agreed to be with our DS whenever I want a night out. Well..that was an exciting idea

I am a tryer though! I have stocked up on gin and wine for my imaginary friends 😂
The just have to turn up 😂

Hello 👋 I feel the same and can feel very lonely at times even with DH and my DC. I have done meet-up before lock down and was involved in a book group through that and they have all sorts of other stuff too. Looking forward to the book group re-starting again but am using meet-up as a stepping stone to meeting more people and maybe a friend.

I'm a struggling LP too without anyone to take my DD, 100% care my end. At times I feel existentially lonely, it's tough.

Could you contact old friends and ask them to visit for a weekend? Get a few dates in the diary? (Assuming that's allowed now - not sure!).

I'm revisiting some of my old friends, whom I haven't caught up with in a while...

Those who used to do Meetup events - have you heard about your groups gearing to restart?

That is the sad thing about the loneliness and lockdown - Meetup doesn't seem to operate but Plenty of Fish and Tinder do!
It's not sad, it's perverse 😂