Things your partner does that grinds your gears

[Natasha9511]

A thread to vent. Don’t want/need advice I just need to get it off my chest. Feel free to add yours below

I’m starting this off by saying I’m very thrifty and eco friendly (I hope)
I agreed to buying a dishwasher as I read as long as you have an energy efficient one it actually works out you use less water with a dishwasher if you were to completely fill it and keep on top of maintenance etc so I was fine with that. I also agreed to a tumble dryer (our kitchen is all integrated) as it’s good for occasional use in the winter/emergencies.

My partner just seems to put like 6 things in the dishwasher and turns it on, and then will deny it being empty? He also gets annoyed if I won’t do the washing because it’s rainy today but will be sunny tomorrow so I can put it on the line. He almost refused to fit a washing line and won’t let me get a clothes horse to hang stuff on in the house.

I’m also heavily pregnant and have been given (so kindly) a lot of baby stuff for free or have bought most stuff second hand. We have enough money to buy new but I would rather reduce our footprint and also save money! I’ve had to lie and say that all these items were new even though they weren’t. We’ve saved about £2500 buying items second hand/being passed items!

I have also bought cloth nappies as they are good for the environment, cheaper, and also I have extremely sensitive skin and eczema (genetic) and I can’t wear disposable sanitary wear as it gives me an awful painful rash, I would hate my baby to suffer the same and will do anything I can to prevent it! (They’re also cute!)

Other than that, he has insulated our house while the floorboards were up in order to stop running the heaters, and he installed good heaters for when we do have to use them. He’s also vegetarian and doesn’t use the car a lot. I’m taking what I can get and being grateful for what he does do rather than what he doesn’t

I think my eco-friendly agenda is quite extreme but I just needed to vent 🤣 thank you!

My DH really good at hoovering, very through but he NEVER puts the Hoover away again. Leaves the cable trailing across the floor and if I ask about it he's perpetually "not finished yet". It would sit there for days if I didn't put it away again.

Scrunches up wrappers and puts them inside glasses that he has finished with. Then if he brings the glass to the kitchen, leaves them for me to fish out the soggy contents. He actually has to walk past the bin to put stuff on the worktop.

Seldom re-uses a glass so I end up with like 10 to wash by the end of the day.

Apparently finds it impossible to see in the dark, at all. Like if he needs the loo in the middle of the night ALL the lights go on.

He won't let you get a clothes horse, if you want one get one it's your house too. X

I've been with my husband since 1968 and married for 45 years.
Despite being corrected over said time, he continues to pronounce the word gown with a D on the end ie. gownd
Christ knows why.
He's an intelligent bloke, educated to degree level and an all round good guy.I love him very much.
But please God make him pronounce this one bloody word correctly.
Even the Grandkids try to correct him. .
I supose compared to some poster's DH's peccadilloes it's quite minor but 52 years of trying to think of alternate words to use is starting to niggle < a bit >

God I don't know why some of you put up with this. I'd have left many years ago. Especially if I was told I couldn't get a clothes horse. But
Always leaving oven dishes to soak instead of actually washing them.
is totally reasonable. Who wants to spend hours scrubbing and scraping when the gunk will literally lift off with no effort at all after a soak?

my partner tells me he wants to throw me out the window because I keep forgetting which light switch turns off the kitchen lights. Well I couldn't be with someone like that personally. I understand my opinions are different because my ex nearly killed me but I wouldn't ever be with anyone who had violent thoughts about me.

Crikey, I wouldn't tolerate a lot of this behaviour. Some of it sounds distinctly passive aggressive; some of it regressed. Water torture.

@copperoliver got one 🤣 I just don’t think he realises the benefit of things until they’re actually in the house! My George delivery is coming on Friday and I’ve got a nice compact one in the order 🤣 X

@WaterOffADucksCrack I suffered from domestic/child abuse from my mum and dad until I was 17 and then my ex boyfriend strangled me because I became friends with a boy - who was gay. I very much understand the triggers and way people present themselves when they are abusive and have abusive tendencies. My partner isn’t like that, he would never hurt me or let anyone hurt me and vice Versa

@Natasha9511
Men are definitely from a different planet to us lol. X

Oh wow this could be long.
Never finishes something before starting a new one, loo roll, cordial, shampoo, vinegar, anything. If there is just a bit left, he opens another.
Never makes the bed and leaves the wet towel in my side
Doesnt put his clothes away, he has a clean clothes mountain by his side of the bed
Piles of junk on his bedside table
Leaves chopping boards, knife, butter and any condiments out when hes made his lunch
Dumps used plates etc on the kitchen side for me to put in the dishwasher
Leaves rubbish on the side on said plates instead of bin 2 ft away
Coats over dining chair
Fixes things but never tidies up the tools or mess
Tells me how to do things that I do all the time, and he has no idea how to do
Gives me advice about things he has no idea about
Goes back and checks the door is locked after he has just seen me do it
Winds DS (7) up then snaps when it goes too far
Asks me hundreds of random questions i couldnt possibly know the answers to
Says no to any idea I have, as he immediately starts to think of what could go wrong. Then thinks about it and changes his mind. But hes pissed on my bonfire then so i dont want to do it anymore.
Moans about the mess the kids make and lectures us about discipline and respect, totally unaware thst he is as bad as them
Tidies up but then has no idea where he has put anthing and Im supposed to know
Im stopping now. I dont know how hes not under the patio.

Leaves things by the sink for hours. Just wash it up as soon as it's dirty!!! He doesn't expect me to do it, but I hate any clutter lying around when it takes two min to wash it up.

Clothes that taken off and randomly put places like the back of the sofa, dining room chair etc. Then like a week later he will ask me where his blue t-shit is!! Could be literally anywhere so I’ve never got a clue!

Clothes never make it to the laundry basket or washing machine, he will then only mention it once he has run out of clean boxers/socks. Can you put me a wash on, he will ask and I always say yes but if you actually just put it in the laundry basket it would get washed like everything else and you wouldn’t run out of things.

Leave shoes all over the place, then asks me where they are.

He does cook and is a fantastic cook and he is pretty good at DIY projects round the house.

The far and away most annoying thing he does though is treat me like an employee at times. If he is doing something he has to give me a list of things I also need to do. Thinks that if he is doing something, everyone else is being lazy or not helping. I don’t think it occurs to him that I actually I have my own things/jobs to without him giving me a bloody list. It’s as if he thinks that if he didn’t give me a list I’d just be sat around relaxing.

When husband gets up in the morning and is ‘exhausted’, he does this loose lipped breathing that makes me want to murder him.

Apparently ‘doesn’t notice’ mess all over the house but has the bare faced cheek to tell me MY mess (in our bedroom, he means my dressing table ) is annoying.

Tweaks my nips. Hate that!

He’s ok though. Could do worse.

@MsEllany if my partner tweaked my nipples I think I would stab him. I hate it!!