Things your partner does that grinds your gears

[Natasha9511]

A thread to vent. Don’t want/need advice I just need to get it off my chest. Feel free to add yours below

I’m starting this off by saying I’m very thrifty and eco friendly (I hope)
I agreed to buying a dishwasher as I read as long as you have an energy efficient one it actually works out you use less water with a dishwasher if you were to completely fill it and keep on top of maintenance etc so I was fine with that. I also agreed to a tumble dryer (our kitchen is all integrated) as it’s good for occasional use in the winter/emergencies.

My partner just seems to put like 6 things in the dishwasher and turns it on, and then will deny it being empty? He also gets annoyed if I won’t do the washing because it’s rainy today but will be sunny tomorrow so I can put it on the line. He almost refused to fit a washing line and won’t let me get a clothes horse to hang stuff on in the house.

I’m also heavily pregnant and have been given (so kindly) a lot of baby stuff for free or have bought most stuff second hand. We have enough money to buy new but I would rather reduce our footprint and also save money! I’ve had to lie and say that all these items were new even though they weren’t. We’ve saved about £2500 buying items second hand/being passed items!

I have also bought cloth nappies as they are good for the environment, cheaper, and also I have extremely sensitive skin and eczema (genetic) and I can’t wear disposable sanitary wear as it gives me an awful painful rash, I would hate my baby to suffer the same and will do anything I can to prevent it! (They’re also cute!)

Other than that, he has insulated our house while the floorboards were up in order to stop running the heaters, and he installed good heaters for when we do have to use them. He’s also vegetarian and doesn’t use the car a lot. I’m taking what I can get and being grateful for what he does do rather than what he doesn’t


I think my eco-friendly agenda is quite extreme but I just needed to vent 🤣 thank you!

[SilverOtter]

My husband drives me bonkers with his absolute inability to answer a question in a straightforward manner. I deliberately construct my questions very carefully, so that he can merely say "yes" or "no". Does it work? Absolutely not, it's waffle central🙄

The worst thing is, I'm usually so confused by his flannel that it takes me a few minutes to realise he actually hasn't answered me at all! ARGH!😭

[4amWitchingHour]

@Natasha9511 you don't seem at all extreme eco wise - but maybe because I'm the same! My H doesn't subscribe because he prefers an easier life, but then I don't care about all of his insistence around online security (which is his job, my job is env related) so we both move towards each other - I do more fancy passwords and he does proper recycling.

Don't get me started on all the computer crap that hangs around the house though, and yet he accuses me of not throwing enough stuff away...

[leafeater]

Whistling

Listening to crap funny things on YouTube out loud when I'm trying to watch tv or listen to the radio and laughing very loudly

It's all about unnecessary noise in this house

I might need a silent retreat after lockdown.

[mutantninja]

I've forgotten to mention the most hateful one of all. Again DS also complicit, piss drips.

[Puds11]

@Longsight2019 cloth nappies are much better for babies. My DD has only ever had nappy rash when put in a disposable.

@Natasha9511 I don’t know why you’d agree to a dishwasher. Such a waste of energy.

[MissHemsworth]

The arrogance. He's currently strutting around like a peacock because he's cooked AND looked after his kids ALL DAY today. First time since the start of lockdown might I add.

Mind you his family are incredibly 1950s & believe all men are heroes for going out to work & that women should be incredibly grateful for their mere existence.

[LostaraYil]

I recognise so many of these!
Putting dishes next to the sink, not in the dishwasher.
Always leaving oven dishes to soak instead of actually washing them.
Refilling the dogs' food and water bowls without washing them. 😝
Folding my clothes wrong even though I have told him a million times just to leave my stuff, I'll do it myself. I end up having to unfold it and do it again so that it will fit my drawers.
Tbh he does a lot of useful stuff, he could just do it a bit better!

[Natasha9511]

@4amWitchingHour I think when I write it all down/think about it it seems a lot but these are just what I do on a daily basis you know? Like I don’t buy things in plastic if I can help, try to be energy conscious, etc etc but it’s just the way of life 😂 my partner is absolutely murder for all this bloody electrical fancy pants stuff and has to have all the latest tech. Drives me nuts 🤣

@Puds11 to be fair, it was 2am on the Monday night that lockdown was announced, we had ripped out our kitchen (just bought our first home) and my mother-in-law was insistent that we needed a dishwasher while we were trying to design our kitchen and get it ordered before Wickes shut down. I was 22 weeks pregnant with SPD and just wanted to go to bloody bed 😂 I would’ve agreed to anything at that point! We were literally sitting in her kitchen with pen and paper and the measurements of our kitchen trying to order the kitchen units ASAP - never again!

[Natasha9511]

@SilverOtter omg my partner is MURDER for saying ‘well, it is and it isn’t’ WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

And I’ll say my partner 100% has more good qualities than bad, if he never then I would’ve chucked him to the kerb ages ago 🤣 he renovated our entire house during lockdown, was just him and his stepdad (we were all in the same house at the time) he is very handy with DIY and is a qualified electrician so has saved us a fortune - although this means he wants to do more on the house, because he can do more

[Qwicks]

Not partner related - but my office buddy is coming back from furlough tomorrow and I've just realised that means my lovely long break from Shite FM will be ending! She listens to a niche radio station that is horrific (to me) but she starts her shift at the office earlier than me and can't, realistically, change it over when I get there. I do occasionally though

[shinyblackdog]

1. Laundry. DH will bring the laundry basket down and put the contents in the washing machine. Very good. However, the empty laundry basket then stays next to the washing machine and he starts putting his dirty laundry in the space upstairs where the laundry basket is supposed to be!! WTF??
   
   
2. Butter. Starts a new pack of spreadable butter but doesn't throw away the bit of paper they put on the top, under the lid. I don't know why but this really irritates me.
   
   
3. Bathroom. Spends 25 minutes, literally, in the bathroom, generally just as we're supposed to be going out, as mentioned by PP. Just today I arranged to meet a friend at 2. DH then says he'll come too. I immediately message friend to tell her we actually won't make it until 2.25. Which is exactly when we arrive.
   
   
4. Tidying. Not understanding that when I say the work surface or floor needs clearing so we can clean/vacuum, I mean including that letter/laptop/pair of shoes.
   
   That said, I'm very lucky compared to most of my friends and I know I do things that send him crackers, he's just more laid back than me about it.

[Abitouting]

Leaves rubbish on the countertops rather than putting away in the bin.

When he tidies a room he collects things that don't belong in that room and moves them to another... when they do not belong in that room either! He even used to sweep the crap from the living room floor into the kitchen and leave it there?! Thankfully I've nipped that one in the bud!

When he's adding salt to a meal he holds the salt shaker really high (because he saw a chef do it once) but he holds it so high that a load of salt ends up on the countertops.

Always chooses to trim his beard or shave his hair after I've tidied the bathroom. To be fair, he does clean up after himself but somehow manages to still miss a load of hairs that are scattered all over the bathroom!

[user1465335180]

I'm sorry @thenightsky but your DH must die, marmite in the butter is a crime for which no penalty is too harsh

[user1465335180]

Just for balance my DP is a great cook, shares the cleaning and is a good man, but if he doesn't stop leaving the tiniest amount in jars and bottles and putting them back in the fridge he won't live to see retirement

[Monzeitia]

I would love to hear what your DH say about you all

[mutantninja]

@Monzeitia he says I’m weird for dusting when the magical opening of windows is the easier option. He’s also really shocked when I wash towels or bedding, so could easily mention that too.

[WaterOffADucksCrack]

won’t wipe down the surfaces and it makes me want to smack his head off them I can just imagine the response if a man posted saying he wanted to smack his wife's head off things. I know you'll say you were joking but I just don't think domestic abuse is something to joke about.

Some of these I kind of get. Some are just nasty. If my partner annoyed me this much I wouldn't be with him!

[WaterOffADucksCrack]

Monzeitia Same!!

[Famousinlove]

Asks me what we're having for tea.. every.single.day

Never rinses mugs/glasses and reuses them, just gets a clean one for every drink and leaves them around the house

Leaves the duvet looking like tasmanian devil has just ran through the room

Only seems to use the bin when its already overflowing

[rhowton]

Breathing?

[GhostOfMe]

@mutantninja DH dies that too. Leaves dishes beside the empty dishwasher or worse in the sink not even near it.

Rarely listens, doesn't acknowledge what I've said, but if I repeat it he gets annoyed. Will ask a question I've already told him the answer to. Doesn't pay attention to kids therapy (2 with SEN) appointments, I remind him multiple times and we have a wall calendar but it's never enough. When he forgets kid stuff it's my fault for not reminding him more.

When he's doing something like cooking which is only ever for himself, he'll ignore the kids and expect me too look after them even if I'm doing chores too. When I'm cooking Im still looking after the kids. Gets up from the table when I've made the meal and doesn't even attempt to help clean up.

[maloofhoof]

Makes mmmmm noises when eating.

If he doesn't hear what I've said he'll laugh before asking what I said "haha sorry what did you say haha"

His food greediness. Eats the last of everything. If there's half a tub of ice cream left he'll finish the lot. There could be 3 or 4 servings left but always says there was hardly any left so used it all. Lies! I've started hiding food from him it's got so bad. If we're having desert he'll have whatever it is plus cream, custard AND ice cream. If there's two of something left he'll eat both. Most normal considerate people would have one and leave one. 2 hot cross buns left , eats both, 2 scones left, eats both.

Crunching food. I've never heard anyone else make the noise level he does. Boiled sweet, crunch, cough sweet, crunch. I literally have to cover my ears when he puts anything remotely crunchy in his mouth.

Has to have noise all the time, radio blasts from the minute he wakes until bed. He can't just have quiet.

Unloads the dishwasher aggressively in such a fashion as to make as much noise as possible. Particularly early morning/ past midnight when people are sleeping.

Puts a new bin liner in without shaking it out, so rubbish is sat at the top waiting for me to jiggle the bag so rubbish reaches the bottom where it should be.

When ironing, folds my tops when he knows all my tops go on hangers, only jeans and vest tops are folded.

Moans that I stay up later than him but it's because he goes to bed to surf the net on his phone for an hour and I can't sleep with the distraction.

Never cleans. He irons, does the dishwasher, sets the hoover robot off yet never cleans bathrooms or washes floors.

[Natasha9511]

@WaterOffADucksCrack my partner tells me he wants to throw me out the window because I keep forgetting which light switch turns off the kitchen lights. Will I call the police now?

[Natasha9511]

@Famousinlove OMG my partner does the same with using a cup once and then abandoning it. It stems from his mum though, she’s the exact same.

Also to anyone saying ‘oooh I wonder what your partner says about you’ I really don’t care 🤣 would rather he didn’t bottle it up and vented to others. It keeps relationships healthy I think!

[Lollypop4]

Where to start!!!!!
Its mainly the lack of housework support,
for example..., not putting washing in clothes basket, when it is 2ft from where he drops it on floor..., I refuse to move said clothes so they stay there, until he moves them himself!
Beer bottles on kitch windowsill, recycling box is 4ft away , I also refuse to put them away.
Letting the fuel light come on, i then have to stop to fill it when in car after him( Joint account to pay before Its mentioned!)