DH downloaded Tinder

[whatsupnow12]

I just found a setting in my iPhone I never knew I had. It shows all the apps downloaded across our family sharing group, by user. I was checking out what DS had downloaded and then out of curiosity looked at DH.

Soooo, he downloaded Tinder back in 2018. I've had zero suspicions and thought we were all good. I don't know what to think or do with this now? I'm very tempted to just ignore, but keep an eye out for any other signs of cheating. Should I look for anything? What would I even look for? I think I want to bury my head in the sand tbh.

@tarasmalatarocks Good point to check the battery usage! (If you can get your hands on his phone again!)

Apparently Tinder is full of married men. God knows why they feel they have to behave like this and mislead the single people looking for an honest person to date!

No guarantee he’ll appear on your stack of men on Tinder. DP and I are both on Tinder (open relationship) and we have never once shown up in each other’s stack despite living in the same house (which would trigger the “people near you” algorithm) and having each other’s mobile number in our phones.

I really don’t understand why women in your situation don’t tell their OH what they’ve found and ask for an explanation. The “Emma” text is a scam, you may never find his Tinder profile, or any evidence he’s met up with anybody else, but the trust in your relationship will be gone all the same regardless. Apart from tearing yourself apart inside wondering, what good will hunting for evidence do? If him potentially looking outside your relationship is an issue then what more evidence do you need than that he was clearly looking and downloaded an app at some point to do so?

It’s interesting how now Tinder shows your phone contacts in your stack, because apparently years ago it would avoid showing you your Facebook contacts in your stack to protect the privacy of both parties. I can remember my friend trying to find out if one of his FB acquaintances was single and on Tinder, and he was faced with the dilemma of deleting her from FB just to see if she showed on Tinder!

Good luck OP, some useful suggestions from posters here as how to work Tinder. Also, if you have his Facebook password, you could just download Tinder on your own phone and log in to his Tinder account via his Facebook. Seems to be the most common way to log in (over email account).

Thanks for all the replies. I've not managed to see his phone again and I've checked Tinder once more but not seen him. I'm not going to keep checking. I have zero other reasons to suspect anything is going on right now, or ever has done. I'm not going to ask him about it though, just keep an eye out for anything suspicious in the future.

If he had anything to hide he would passcode his phone. Text message he didn't reply to, not got tinder on his phone. Honestly I think he sounds ok.

I went lockdown paranoid about husband's phone use about two months ago, told him what I was crazily thinking, could write the whole sorry story out, but in a nutshell, he agreed his phone use was excessive, changed his phone behaviour and told me on numerous occasions "my home us where you and the kids are". I have never doubted him ever, always been happy and dismissive of what he does. Was this lockdown madness with a bit of peri-menopause thrown in? Yes most likely. Was husband betraying me and his family? Not at all. We can all lose it sometimes. And sometimes it really is nothing to worry about.