And I think (and sorry to mention it) - this man was married?
@Lickmylegs0 This incident was over a year before anything other than a friendship happened. What I am focussing is trying to avoid dodgy situations/people again, acting on things that can even be worse than red flags etc.
I understand you feel angry towards him but
This isn't about being angry about him though I am of course.) This is about how I avoid wankers in future.
your motivation to contact him needs addressing more than this comment that he made. If you made this contact to a group of fb friends - about needing support - should this man have been included in the group?
I didn't contact him in any inappropriate way at all with this message. I would've had no reason to know that he would respond in this weird way. Most people wouldn't. He was a friend/friendly aqualintance as far as I was concerned.
Maybe it’s me and I don’t get the need for receiving validation from people you hardly know.
It's not a matter of validation, I just wanted some supportive comments from friends And my reason for looking into this is just to avoid wrong'uns in future and to be assertive that I am worth treating better than this.
You don't need to semaphore your decisions or push back unless the person is unavoidable in your life.
@picklemewalnuts I did have to see him weekly across a room, but wouldn'tve had to speak to him. So you think I should just have unfriended? It would be just for my self worth that I would make any comment.
^There's no way to make a guy like him behave well around a vulnerable person like you were (assuming you are who I think you are). The only way to manage such a person is to stay well away.
I'd say actually that when you are unwell, stay away from people you don't have a long-standing relationship with.^
Yes, that's me I think. Agreed in that I need to recognise dodgy men (which to him would've been the first time he msged me 9 months before trying to pull me and acting sleazy, as he does to many women) at first sight/message and block immediately so they're not around at all at a later date if I get to a time when I can be exploited.
Op how long ago was this? It does not appear recent. Do you understand why you’re still focusing on it and imagining responses?
Because I'm in a phase of complete overhaul of how I handle boundaries, assertiveness, dodgy men etc. It's not about focussing on him as such, but on how I respond to any stuff I experience going forward. I think of other incidents with other men too and how I could better respond if various things happen again, name-calling etc. I think it's quite constructive at the moment, as I'm trying to think how I can deal with stuff in future. In the past I've usually led it slide even if a man (other men, I'm not just solely focussed on this one) was derogatory about my figure in the bedroom or anything.
So all I'm trying to do is overhaul my approach to have a better experience and avoid/not take people being wankers.
We don’t know the guy, so the comment could have been coming from a supportive place, because he was right, some people won’t respond and he didn’t wish you to be upset if that was the case.
He honestly wasn't, he was saying he personally wasn't going to respond with support etc, as I said before. Otherwise he would've followed it with 'sorry to hear you're not 100%' or whatever.
Hell would have frozen over before I’d subsequently entered into a relationship with Bob. Your twat radar is off OP
Yep, it wasn't even that my twat radar was off at first, I recognized it from the very start, but I for some reason didn't block/unfriend when he popped up, so he was still around to catch me at the wrong time.
What's the point of over thinking and asking everyone how to respond to something that happened a while ago
Because I'm trying to think how I might respond in future to when men are wankerish in any way etc. How many times do I have to say that to people? 
I hope people can see what I mean. It's about how to protect my self worth and assert myself if anything unpleasant was said or done by other men/people I meet in future.
It's about boundaries and assertiveness and how I do it. It's not about him except in that he tends to provide some of the worst examples. But for instance I've had a bloke in the bedroom say 'well, they wouldn't pass the pencil test!' About my breasts. I am trying to think how I would respond to such wankerishness in future. In that particular example, , I think I would throw something round me, head towards the door so I was safe, (open it as I live in a tower block) and say to the person 'you can leave now.' Or if I didn't feel able to say anything in the moment, later I could've messaged them (which thankfully is a thing now- mobile phones/messenger weren't a thing in those days) say it wasn't ok maybe, or unfriend IDK. Unfortunately I was in a friendship group with that guy so not sure how I could have responded. Maybe 'If you think I'm that unattractive you can go home' or something.
It genuinely is a constructive thing, to think of ways I could respond to any situation in future.
But we don't waste time going over and over them.
I say for about the tenth or more time in this thread, this is just one example. why I'm considering it is about thinking how I will respond to people in future. It is about thinkiing how I will respond to people in future. It is about thinking how I will respond to people in future. I get a think where writing/editing plays up sometimes so can't risk answering with another quote as it sometimes deletes bits, but yes, everyone else responded in a friendly way. Precisely, self reflection is not a bad thing. That is exactly what I am doing, thinking how I would respond to situations etc. I know why I ended up in a 'relationship' with him. I've thought plenty about that one.