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Relationships

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Original poster

If someone confesses they virtually "love" you after 4 weeks would it put you off???

38 replies

gigglewiggle · 26/09/2007 15:52

Was speaking to a friend of mine today who has been seeing a guy for 4 weeks. She said he told her hes really fallen for her and loves her!!

She doesnt know whether its weird for him to feel like this after just 4 weeks as she certainly doesnt love him yet!!

Would you be scared off or think it sweet???

OP posts:

HuwEdwards · 26/09/2007 15:53

I'd proceed very cautiously tbh.

Ellbell · 26/09/2007 15:57

Dh said this to me after c. 10 days. I thought it was lovely. I was not ready to reciprocate (he'd been single for a longish time before we got together, I was in the throes of a marriage break-up and was in pieces so much more cautious) but it was still nice to hear it. Worked out ok for us (15 years later...). I wouldn't necessarily think the guy was a weirdy freak.

Dropdeadfred · 26/09/2007 15:58

run like the wind!!!

Tinker · 26/09/2007 16:00

Hmm, dunno. Alarm bells would ring for me (her) if she doesn't feel like that. I wouldn't have been seeing someone for 4 weeks if didn't feel smitten.

TheArmadillo · 26/09/2007 16:01

proceed cautiously.

I know people where this has worked out (me and dp and other friends) but it could be worrying.

14yoboy · 26/09/2007 16:02

i'd run for the hills

peskipixie · 26/09/2007 16:03

run!

Tinker · 26/09/2007 16:04

Why woudl people run? I'm assuming he's "in love" rather than it being real love but it feels similar when you're smitten. But if I wasn't feeling a bit in love after seeing someone for 4 weeks then I'd think I was wasting my time.

TheArmadillo · 26/09/2007 16:08

I think this is where the different definitions of love come into it.

Some would use it to describe the feelings you get when you first start a relationship with someone you are very attracted to and who you can't stop thinking about.

Others think it is the feelings that remain when that has settled down - when you know for definate that that is the person you want to spend the rest of your life wiht.

LeCruesetPan · 26/09/2007 16:09

She needs to meet his ex-s. They will probably relay the same story. Just is not kewl.

MascaraOHara · 26/09/2007 16:14

OOOOOO very interested in this at the moment.. what do we think the best duration is?!?

I think telling being told that someone loves you for the first time kind of cements that relationship and lets you relax into it a bit. Almost like being reassured that it is going somewhere (assuming that you want it to)

Men have always told me early on but I've never had a 'normal' relationship really.. always seem to end up with enedy people would love to know what happens when the man is self sufficient.

MascaraOHara · 26/09/2007 16:15

..needy people. Would love..

TwoThumbsDon · 26/09/2007 16:24

I would be scared off. I've not been on the receiving end of this, but the husband had a friend who used to do this who's been divorced twice and engaged three other times. I also knew a guy online who used to do the same, his relationships never lasted either. They both seemed addicted to the grand falling in love part and then got bored.

But then... you just never know! I mean I got engaged to a guy (the husband of 9 years and going) I'd only met online and only seen in person for 3 days.

Tinker · 26/09/2007 16:27

I think if she didn't know it was coming then maybe the relationship is a bit unbalanced. It's certainly happened to me more than once but a) it was reciprocated and b) yes, we probably meant giddy "in love, but it feels like love so who cares?"

It has also happened where it's not been reciprocated by me = alarm bells. He's not got me enouh to realise this isn't appropriate yet.

bohemianbint · 26/09/2007 16:29

Surely it depends on the relationship? OK, it's not exactly the restraint we're accustomed to, but DP told me he loved me in a very short space of time. I also wasn't ready to reciprocate, but 4 happy years on and with a beautiful son to show for it, I have no reason to think he didn't mean it!

Would be scary from some men, less so from others.

PeterDuck · 26/09/2007 18:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NAB3 · 26/09/2007 18:40

It all depends on what the hwole relationship is like. I knew I loved my now Dh after 2.5 months. Still together 11.5 years later and have 3 children.

beansprout · 26/09/2007 18:42

Dh and I just "knew" when we met and talked about loving each other by this stage. 8 years later we are married with child, one on the way and are v happy!!

That said, if your friend doesn't feel the same, it's just all a bit weird and I suspect this isn't the right person for her!!

mytwopenceworth · 26/09/2007 18:42

Well, I moved in with someone the day I met he (or rather, he moved in with me) and we were married 3 months later. 10yrs on, we're still together and we've got 2 kids, sooooooooooo........

I would have to say yes, it is possible to fall in love very quickly!

FrannyandZooey · 26/09/2007 18:48

Oh god I fall in love with people within about 2 days

if I don't feel absolutely besotted with them then I don't bother continuing it tbh

he may just be a very emotionall, sharing open sort of person - sounds lovely to me!

FrannyandZooey · 26/09/2007 18:49

but yes good point if she doesn't feel the same, ie if the intensity is not there on both sides then that seems a little odd

PregnantGrrrl · 27/09/2007 09:08

i was in love with DH by breakfast time

took him about 3 weeks longer to admit it, because i think he was terrified!

dizietsma · 27/09/2007 09:34

A guy on the net told me he loved me almost as quickly.

Yesterday we celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary.

Don't be such a cynic, be happy for your pal.

Saz73 · 27/09/2007 09:48

I met my DH on the net, met him a week later, both fell head over heals in love and we both had a chat about feelings...yes after one week and both felt the same and got to tell ya i've had the best 10 years of my life with him so far and have two beautiful kids 4yr and 8yr

Original poster

gigglewiggle · 27/09/2007 10:08

Thanks for the replies....i personally havent been in a relationship for a looooong time so couldnt advise her!

OP posts:

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