Will meeting someone new heal heartbreak?

[Toedipper]

In a state of heartbreak is it possible to find someone who will “fix” how you feel? Or is this just wishful thinking hoping the pain will go away?

Also, is Tinder worth a go? Never tried any sort of online dating ever.

Feel a total wreck at the minute. Just split with my fiancé recently and don’t know where to turn, I don’t deal with loneliness we’ll at all. Any advice would be great. I’m a 34 year old straight man if that makes any difference 🤷‍♂️
Thanks

@Bunnymumy

I think you need to focus more on leaving that house. Or shifting her out. Depending on the ownership situation.

No way would I stay under the same roof as someone who cheated on me if it could at all be helped.

I think you need to bolster your ego that way. By making a decision about what's what. By leaving/telling her to leave you would be reclaiming any self respect you felt she took away by cheating like she did.

You need to stand on your own two feet. Not play the 'well I can see someone too' card. It will just look petty.

Get away from her first, then see about new company.

Yeah it’s so hard. In her defence she didn’t cheat, it was me who ended it in the new year then gave her the silent treatment for months (not proud of this and massively regretting my actions) I asked her to move out as I couldn’t cope, so I can’t blame her for meeeing someone else. I’m just gutted she didn’t tell me first, and I had to find out by getting it out of her ( I could tell something was going on) but it has crushed me when it was confirmed. Even then, she’s still put it on hold when anyone else would have told me straight that it’s too late and she’s moved on and probably moved out or in with him. This is why it’s so confusing atm.

Yeah I agree it would be petty and I shouldn’t be looking at hooking up with anyone else. I’m just a mess really.

When you say you're massively regretting your actions, do you mean you regret breaking it off and want her back?

You've behaved appallingly. I know you're sad now but this situation is all you. And it sounds like you only want her back because she's seeing someone else. And do you think if you're seeing other women she will rethink?

Months of silent treatment? You need to do some serious work before considering another relationship.

@ellsom

When you say you're massively regretting your actions, do you mean you regret breaking it off and want her back?

Yes, 100%. I knew I’d be devastated if we ever split up, but this is something else. I’ve had a very messed up head for a while and always blamed it on my relationship, knowing fine well if we split I’d be an absolute mess. I deserve it. She deserves better than me

Good grief no. Women are not rehabilitation centres for men’s pain. Work on your own issues before transferring them onto someone else.

Yeah it’s so hard. In her defence she didn’t cheat, it was me who ended it in the new year then gave her the silent treatment for months (not proud of this and massively regretting my actions) I asked her to move out as I couldn’t cope, so I can’t blame her for meeeing someone else. I’m just gutted she didn’t tell me first, and I had to find out by getting it out of her ( I could tell something was going on) but it has crushed me when it was confirmed. Even then, she’s still put it on hold when anyone else would have told me straight that it’s too late and she’s moved on and probably moved out or in with him. This is why it’s so confusing atm.

Yeah I agree it would be petty and I shouldn’t be looking at hooking up with anyone else. I’m just a mess really.

Ah, the old 'I'm a mess' defence. Not from where I'm standing. You ended your relationship,refused to communicate with your ex, asked her to leave -- and you still think she owes it to you to tell you she's in a new relationship, and that she''s the one at fault here for not spending a year crying into her tea about you leaving her? Incredible.

And now you'd like some casual 'female company' so you can show your ex that two can play at that game?

In my world, you'd be ringing a leper bell and wearing a hat marked 'Beware -- Toxically Selfish'.

Yes I’m at the lowest point of my life, but I have to try and move on

So get therapy, maybe medication.

It's not healthy to dive into anything new or use someone to distract you or boost your ego, and it's not fair on the new person.

Part of me wants to stay single, but I also need company,

See your friends, then, or FaceTime them etc.

Yeah it’s so hard. In her defence she didn’t cheat, it was me who ended it in the new year then gave her the silent treatment for months (not proud of this and massively regretting my actions) I asked her to move out as I couldn’t cope, so I can’t blame her for meeeing someone else. I’m just gutted she didn’t tell me first

You dumped her, and were awful to her, so she didn't owe you anything at all.

As PP's said, find a way to move out/for her to move out. You'll feel better for it.

I am not suggesting you sit and mope for months. Talk to friends and family, get exercise, learn something new, read, plan a holiday. There is loads you can do to help yourself feel better.

Another person is not a plaster and it sound as if you deal with emotions really poorly. Giving someone the silent treatment for months is toxic. Why did you struggle to communicate, why did you choose to punish her? Answer these questions before inflicting the same treatment on someone else.

You need to fix your reactions to emotions as you seem afraid of emotions. If you are depressed see a GP. If you are sad know that it is natural but the sadness will end.

You have to decide..are you able to handle your own emotions or do you need someone else to help you mask them?

Wow the way you treated your ex you are completely right you don’t deserve her!
Get some therapy ASAP before you fuck up anymore women’s lives.
You genuinely sound about 6 years old and you’re upset someone else took a toy you threw in the bin

So you want to take all that mess and dump it on another woman to make you feel better??
Please don't

Having your heart broken can be painful and you need time to adjust to where you are now.

Living with you ex won't help you move on and maybe living somewhere else can give you a new lease in life and meeting new neighbours with new surrounding's.

You need to go through the emotions and gradually you'll feel stronger until ready for a relationship don't rush getting involve with anybody just yet as you'll never truly heal.

Start enjoying the single life by doing things you've wanted to do, go to places where you can interact with other people like learn a language or craft making so you won't feel totally alone.