A parenting question - what would you do?

[Pages]

You are the single mother of 3 dc ages 6, 5 and 4. You need to get away for a few hours and ask a neighbour to watch your DC. You go to a friend's house. The neighbour doesn't actually come into your house.

It is dark. Your 3 dc are on their own in the house. Your DS1 (age 6) hits DD (age 5) with a screwdriver. DD runs out crying and makes her way along the road in the dark to try and find her mummy. She falls over and grazes her knee. The police come by in a patrol car and pick DD up and DD tells the police where mummy's friend lives. The police arrive at your friend's house with DD in the back of the car and take you and DD home.

Who should be punished, DD or DS1?

dsi did the hitting although without trying to be harsh you where very lucky no worse came of leaving three young kids without suppervision

The neighbour, for not babysitting them properly.

It's okay you can be harsh. Please say absolutely what you think. Any other thoughts?

It's not Pages who did the leaving.

The dd and ds1 are not at fault - the mother is.

You don't need to go on justifying (or rather not justifying) what happened. You know who was in the wrong here - and the fact that you are now a good mother means that you should let go and forget the past. She is never going to admit what she did wrong - and while a thread liken this might give you further reassurance, she is never going to read or accept it.

pages am lost did you leave your dcs or your mother leave you,s

Prettybird has rumbled me. I am DD. And I don't really need reassurance. But today my mother tried to tell me that it was my brother (DS1) who was at fault (and partly me for running out) - it has just made me so mad and bewildered.

Looks pretty simple to me: the mother.

But where was the neighbour???

was going to say mother before i read entire thread
still say mother

Sorry xxx, this was a few decades ago, I am not deliberately trying to mislead people - I just wanted to see genuinely what peoples reactions were without saying who the mother was (it was my mum who did the leaving).

My mum told me today that it was my brother's (aged 6) fault (and partly mine) and I am still not quite sure whether I am in the real world yet or still in her world of la la land....

well of course its the kids fault not the mother who left three little children to look after themselves to go to a mates sense the sarky in that dont mind her she sounds a bit "off" if you dont mind me saying

wow, pages! I'm impressed, you are very litterate for a 5 year old

shes not five talking bout her childhood upbringing or updragging as i gather

The neigbour was (according to my mother -now) looking after us "from over the road". We never saw him. I distinctly remember feeling that we had been left at home on our own. Neither me nor my brother (DS1) remembers the neighbour being present or being told that he was looking after us.

I wanted to walk out last week on my dc because I just needed to ESCAPE. So, stupid as it may seem today, I posted about respite foster care. I'd never just leave the poor babies.

XXX and Slim22 you are very funny!!!

I have abandonment issues as an adult.

Funny that my mum and dad left me being cared for by next door neighbour when my mum was hospitalised circa 1977 having my sister and my dad had to go to work. Shame that I woke up and the lady next door wasn't there and I screamed and screamed as I tried to pper over the window ledge upstairs to see where my mummy and daddy had gone. I could only see the clouds and some branches because I was only 2.5

Newlife, I totally understand, being a single mum must be bloody hard. You sound fab.

Cross posted with you Newlife. So sorry.

No worries

Just reading a bit of the other thread.

sorry, I should have guessed. duh.....
It seems like a very old grudge to hold. Your memory is so precise.
Why is it all coming back now?? Are you undergoing therapy?

dont feel bad for having a weak moment newlife we all have them must be hard being on your own fair play for coping pages just leave her in lala land the pink bunnys will keep her company

Didn't mean to hijack btw.Pages - just empathise

Newlife - how exactly are you hijacking, don't be daft, and thanks for the empathy - that's what it is all about. Hope you are ok, tell us more if you feel like it..

XXX - you just made me laugh my head off. I think the pink bunnies will def keep her company tonight.

Slim, saw her today after a year. Long story, lots of stuff - the thread "my mother has cut me out of her life - long sorry" explains all, if you can be bothered - don't blame you at all if you can't

I honestly just wanted an independent persepective on the subject.

I'm off to dose up DS2 who is very, very feverish and on my lap (woke up screaming) will look up this thread tomorrow.

Sleep well all - hope you can Pages, I know the sleepless feeling.

in my most honest opinion and im putting on my thickest commonist dublin accent i can to emphasise!yer mas a bleeeeedin nutter!!ah back to myself now read a bit of that thread was a lot on it but my god!!what did she have to say for herself today of you dont mind me asking