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Original poster

First Date

29 replies

JMKid · 25/06/2020 06:07

If you have mean speaking to someone online and sorting out arrangements to meet up would you expect them to come to your area if you live 40mins away from each other. Dont know if I'm old fashioned or not.

OP posts:
WhatInFreshHell · 25/06/2020 06:16

I think I would suggest meeting half way.

Bunnymumy · 25/06/2020 06:17

I'd probably look to meet somewhere in the middle somewhere. If there was a nice park or something maybe.

Guess with social distancing...hmm...as it's a first date I think it would be nice if the guy offered to come to you. Ideally. Unless theres somewhere cool near him.

Candace19 · 25/06/2020 06:23

I’d go halfway

happinessischocolate · 25/06/2020 06:33

A first date with someone you've never met before should be you both put the same amount of effort, so half way and pay half each for any meal or drinks.

However if you dont know the area which would be the halfway mark then either make sure you meet in a high street or ask them to come closer so you know the area.

JustC · 25/06/2020 06:58

Half way would be best I think.

amylou8 · 25/06/2020 07:08

Depends on the logistics really. 40 mins is not unreasonable for either of you to travel if you both drive. I wouldn't expect him to travel to me if there was somewhere nice to meet that was nearer to him.

Original poster
JMKid · 25/06/2020 07:25

There isnt anything that nice where he is. I'm right by the beach. He asked me to go to his place which is far from a date and not something I feel comfortable with given we have never met.

OP posts:
FreddoFrogAddict · 25/06/2020 07:32

Groan. He just wants sex. Fine if that's what you want too, but very unwise to go to the house of a complete stranger.

Original poster
JMKid · 25/06/2020 07:36

Exactly, not going to go to a complete strangers house. Put me off him a bit after that suggestion. I've been single for a 5 years so maybe my expectations are too high!

OP posts:
PammieDooveOrangeJoof · 25/06/2020 07:42

Your expectations are not too high. Trust your gut.

HRH2020 · 25/06/2020 07:53

Don't go to his house or even his area unless you are planning to have sex with him. Because that's what he thinks is going to happen.

Bluntness100 · 25/06/2020 07:54

No I’d not go to his house but I’d not insist he comes to me either, I’d say meet in the middle also. I’m not sure either of you are right.

JustC · 25/06/2020 08:02

Nope, wouldn't go to his house. Not just because he only wants sex, just overall safety.

Rainbowshine · 25/06/2020 08:04

You wouldn’t go to a complete stranger’s house in normal times, that’s no different in lockdown. I’d not pursue this man if I were in this situation. He’s made it clear early on what he expects, and it’s not a relationship! Better ones are out there that would meet halfway and in public etc like a decent person.

Davincitoad · 25/06/2020 08:05

House visit = sex

Move on unless that’s why you want!

over50andfab · 25/06/2020 08:08

I had a first date a couple of days ago. He lives about 20 mins away and happy to come to a place near me where we could have a wander about and a sit down with a nice view.

There’s no way I’d have gone to anyone’s house. I’d have been happy to meet half way but if someone‘s not prepared to make any effort on a first date and the intention of it is just to be for sex then that would be a no from me.

StarlightLady · 25/06/2020 08:14

The nearest pleasant place between the 2. Suggesting this as thr OP has said half way wouldn’t work.

I think that is safe and practical.

LittleWing80 · 25/06/2020 08:17

If he is not prepared to come to your area for your first date, he is only after sex.

ThirtyAndASmidgen · 25/06/2020 09:44

Yuk, sounds like he just wants a free prostitute! He can’t even be bothered to make an effort for one date. Bin him off!

StarlightLady · 25/06/2020 10:56

If the passion and chemistry is right, there is nothing wrong with sex on a first date. It can be very right.

What is very wrong is the expectation of sex on a first date. What is equally wrong is an expectation that you would enter a stranger’s home before you even met them. Personal safety issues.

Crystalspider · 25/06/2020 11:43

You're expectations aren't too high in the slightest, if you're not comfortable being treated this way then cancel and wait for someone better.

NoMoreDickheads · 25/06/2020 11:46

If the passion and chemistry is right, there is nothing wrong with sex on a first date. It can be very right.

@StarlightLady As they haven't even met yet, I disagree. Plus, it's one thing meeting somewhere for a date and then deciding to later in the date to have sex, it's another to go directly to someone's house.

Plus, lockdown is a thing anyway.

stealm · 25/06/2020 11:53

He asked me to go to his place which is far from a date and not something I feel comfortable with given we have never met.

Bin him off. You shouldn't be going to someone's house for a first date irrespective of how far away it is. If it was 5 minutes away from you it's still a no-go.
If he's not interested in meeting up half-way or at the beach near you, ie. in a public place, then his intentions are dubious.
I think he just wants a shag with minimum effort.

Sooooobored · 25/06/2020 12:57

There’s another thread on here where the guy turned up for a first date in a remote area for a walk and he looked nothing like his photos and the op couldn’t wait to get away.

happinessischocolate · 25/06/2020 14:40

Bin him

Now you've said he wants you to go to his house I'd not bother at all, he's not even pretending to make an effort, you can do so much better.

If you put on your dating bio I'm happy to come to your house on the first date, you'd be inundated with offers 😁