He made a crude joke about colleague

[AmiSpan]

My DP has been sporting a lockdown beard and yesterday shaved it off but left a moustache on for the day, as he thought it was funny.

He said that he had to go and wipe TMI alert the ‘pussy juice’ off his moustache. I asked him what on earth he was talking about and he repeated what he said and added ‘you know from Sarah Smith’ (not her real name).

I am majorly unimpressed about this so called joke. He thinks that I am having a ‘sense of humour failure’

This joke has made me feel sick when I look at him. Should I just let it go though?

OP, i second what many have said that it is a vile thing to say.
I am a guy and i would never say that about a colleague, or any woman in fact. Men and women do joke and mess around, and i know from my own situation i joke with my wife about things and she to me but never to that degree. It crosses a major line and its not just inappropriate its vile tbh!

1 thing i would say is if this is a 1 off then you could ignore it, after telling him he is wrong for saying it, but from the sounds of it he has form for saying very inappropriate things. If that is the case and he has said things of this nature about women before then i would say get rid of him as its a very clear example of how he views women in general and that should send alarm bells!

I was thinking of having sex tonight but now I won't be. He's revolted me and I'm not even his partner.

WTF? I get guys make crude jokes between them, I would (maybe) even go so far as saying eww and let it go if he made the joke about your juices, in a loooong time relationship, but ask him to knock it off(not my cuppa). But cracking that to his partner, about another woman?! It's crude, disrespectful and just....so so wrong. I would really re-evaluate staying.

He thought it was funny to make a joke to his partner about giving oral sex to one of his colleagues?

Crudeness aside, that's just ODD.
It's clearly not a one off either.
I'd bin him off if I were you, it'll only get worse.

Clearly, Sarah is on his mind - and in a sexual way.

He's probably the Office Perv.

Just not funny at all, inappropriate and vile. From what you've said, he quite obviously has form for disrespecting women in this way. I think you should get rid too.

The thing is, a joke is meant to be funny. If he had ice cream in his beard or something and did the "looks like you've blown a seal" line then I might not laugh (ok, in that case I probably would) but I'd at least understand the joke. "Hur! I have a beard! Vaginal juices from my unsuspecting co-worker!" isn't just crass, it's just...not funny. There's no hook for the humour. It's literally "juice in my beard LOL". No misdirection, no ambiguity, no anti climax, no wordplay, literally none of the principles on which a joke, of any kind of taste, is hung. I mean, quite apart from being nasty, it just indicates that he literally doesn't know how jokes work.

Grim.
So grim.

He sounds like slime.
Probably the guy in the office that gives poor Sarah Smith the creeps.

OP, he has form for being so vulgar, is he really what you want from a man?

A sleeze.

Sounds like a weirdo. What part of that is funny? Why her? Odd odd odd and even more bizarre he tried to make out as if you’re strange for not finding it funny at all.

Goddamn that's nasty. Who raises these men?
And apart from being a totally disrespectful creep who thinks debasing women is funny, he wants Sarah's pussy juice and doesn't give a shiny shit about how this might make you feel. He's told you EVERYTHING about himself in one sentence. So, there's the silver lining. Now you know.
What a pig. I hope you cut him loose, OP.

No. I don’t have children with him.

That is a very good thing.

If think v long and hard about ever doing do or you'll be stuck with kids listening to shit like this, or s single mum if you can't listen to any more shit like this.
He's not likely become more appropriate or respectful (or less weird/sleazy/vulgar/totally inappropriate) when you're trapped .. as many men see the mothers of their children esp. when they're at least partly financially dependant.

*I'd think

He says he was just winding me up.

I dint think many men would say something like that as a wind up or at all.

And trying to imagine the reverse .. "I'm loving my new eyelash extensions, just need to get John Smith's (woman's work colleague)'s jizz washed out of them properly".

I'm sure a man would find that absolutely hilarious .. or say "oh you, you're such a wind up merchant!".

They wouldn't be disturbed or think she was odd or inappropriate, or suspect she thinks about john Smith that way at all.

There's something wrong with this guy, sorry. Proceed with commitment at your peril.

Vile. I think he temporarily forgot that you weren't one of the lads.

I agree with a pp. Ask him specifically what's funny about that, and how it's supposed to make your laugh of feel good?

What the fuck do you see in this prick ?

(If someone doesn't realise that "joking" to their partner about them having intimate sexual acts with other people (and not strangers at that, people they have regular contact with) is not appropriate; something somewhere is wrong in their head. And it's not likely to magically come right.

I have asked him a number of times now not to speak about other women like this and he does it over and over again.

Whether there's anything behind it or not (hmm), a man who behaves like this is v unlikely to have a happy, chilled partner ... More like a regularly uncomfortable, unhappy partner .. and embarrassed/cringing one if he does it on front of other people.

You could try giving as good as you get and see how he likes it but you'd just be stopping to his (weird, inappropriate) level. And you shouldn't have to.

*stooping

This would feel even worse if you were pregnant or had his kidd

If my DH ever said something like this he would be sleeping in the spare room for quite a while. If this man finds he get unpleasant consequences for his unpleasant behaviour he might learn to not be be so disgusting.

This sleazy man enjoys degrading you, Sarah and all women. This is who he is. Others know and pity you.

Don’t you deserve to be with a decent man who respects you?