He made a crude joke about colleague

[AmiSpan]

My DP has been sporting a lockdown beard and yesterday shaved it off but left a moustache on for the day, as he thought it was funny.

He said that he had to go and wipe TMI alert the ‘pussy juice’ off his moustache. I asked him what on earth he was talking about and he repeated what he said and added ‘you know from Sarah Smith’ (not her real name).

I am majorly unimpressed about this so called joke. He thinks that I am having a ‘sense of humour failure’

This joke has made me feel sick when I look at him. Should I just let it go though?

I don't even see how this is a joke. I mean, I've heard some jokes that I don't find funny in the past, but at least I can see what was supposed to be funny about them. This - it's just a grim, sexist, and totally inappropriate comment. There's no joke.

Why are you still in a relationship with someone who has no respect for women or you? He's been consistent in that.

Blech! He sounds thoroughly unpleasant - at best!

He's vile.

You're obviously not suited to each other. Leave now and don't come back. Make both of you happy.

I don't get why anyone would find it funny, either. It is so random ... he didn't even have any juice of any kind on his moustache? "Sharon" was not about and had not been mentioned? So it's not clever in any way; he's just thought randomly about the idea of having to wash your moustache if you were going down on a woman and has shoehorned it into conversation, using the name of a totally different woman as if he was having an affair, just for added randomness?

Might be (disgusting but) funny if e.g. he had been kissing the cat or something, but otherwise...

Ugh just imagine how inappropriate he is in work.

Wow. I'm quite relaxed about things but agree that his vulgar remarks show no respect to you as his partner or the other woman. The thing that also sticks out to me is that you say you've asked him not to make jokes like that and yet he's still choosing to, knowing how they make you feel. You're not overreacting OP. I'd be questioning the relationship of he can't show you respect. I mean, aside from the sheer grossness of his comment he's effectively saying it's funny for him to joke to you about cheating on you... Not funny!?!

Have you had a child/ten by this specimen?

I think the appropriate response was;

"you can use the towel I wiped your boss's spunk off my mouth with, it's in the bathroom" ..

However, can you really be arsed living with this sort of shit.

And tbh sorry but I feel.liks there some thinking/a mindset behind these comments .. like he's clearly thinking about doing these things.

Ask him to explain the joke to you.

Get him to specifically explain how it is funny and not disrespectful to you and his colleague

Did he just say it out of nowhere? Has he been working with Sarah?

Gross anyway.

No. I don’t have children with him. He says he was just winding me up.

He works with Sarah all the time. He probably does fancy her.

My own sense of humour runs fairly close to the knuckle sometimes but things like that are over the line. I wouldn’t find it funny if any man said that, or a woman said the female equivalent either.

It’s not funny or witty, it’s just crass and quite grim.

He's a dirty creep. I'd be rethinking your relationship. How bloody disrespectful to you and the work girl.

I'd say he fancies her but so what? It's ok to fancy someone. The problem is his utter disrespect to you. Personally I would leave over this, especially as this treatment of you is not a one off.

I don't think I could stay with a man who made crude 'jokes' like this - he doesn't respect women, and that is not going to improve because he doesn't think it's a problem.

The joke was disrespectful to you and to her. Then he was disrespectful by saying you are overreacting and belittling your feelings.

Why be with a man who doesn't respect women?

He sounds vile, and it sounds like it is bar-raising time. Stop trying to change him, accept he's a misogynist, and leave. Or stay with a misogynist and don't ever expect him to change.

Why would he pay any attention to any request from you? You're a woman.

Horrible thing to say why on earth would he that that’s an acceptable thing to say

I don't find that funny at all and it doesn't make sense. I'd be so taken aback he'd even made that comment and tried to pass it off as a joke. That would be like you saying you were wiping a bodily fluid from another man obtained through certain means. It's just odd

Poor Sarah ,having this pathetic excuse for a man fancy her.

And poor you for having him as a partner.

You can’t do anything about the former but you can certainly do something about the latter.

Thats a shitty thing to say to you as well as a shitty thing to say about SS.

He clearly has no respect you, or any woman.

Gross
Are you sure about him?