What happens when the sex stops?

[Funkypickle]

Buckle up this might be a long one.

DH and I married for 15 years, together 19 years. I'm 35 he's 40. 1 dc. Relationship overall isn't great
We both have a tendency to dig at each other. We spend little time together. Have not had a night away, break or date night since before dc was born. He's more interested in spending time doing his own thing. We can go an entire evening sitting in the same room and not say a word to each other beyond the very basics. Hugs, kisses, cuddles maybe on a birthday or Christmas.

We have an almost sexless marriage. We have sex a couple of times a month on average. Some months it's more and we can go also months without. 7 months being the longest. We were trying for dc2 but I've given up all hope as you need to have sex to conceive. Its not always been like this.

I know our sex drives are completely mismatched
I want sex all the time. He just isn't bothered anymore. Hes happy with how it is. I'm so over being turned down. I've tried everything and will try anything. I hate thinking I'm making him.do something hes not wanting or into.

The biggest issue is when we have sex it's amazing. No kissing, no affection and very much scheduled. But omfg out of this world amazing every single time. He agrees. So then I get my Hope's up and think it will be a regular thing moving forward. But nope nothing changes. Weeks will pass until the next time.

So my question is what happens when it stops? Has anyone else come through this? I'm not able to leave him for lots of reasons (I have tried) mainly financial and I have absolutely no family here. Does this get better? I just want to feel wanted again, passion and interesting conversation, fun. I guess what I want is a functioning relationship. Can this be fixed this? Is it worth fixing?

Any advice please?

As others have said the sex and affection- or lack of- is the manifestation of other problems. You can't work on your marriage alone, he has to work on it too. Sex twice a month isnt that bad when you have young dc, working, juggling housework and generally exhausted and maybe resentful if you feel OH isnt pulling their weight.
You need to try and stop snipeing at eachother , have date nights, do something fun together or work on a project- together!
He needs to prioritise you as much as hobbies.
If he spends more time money and energy on his hobbies you will feel resentment and thats not good for your sex life.
Does he want to stay married? he doesnt want to go to counseling but is he prepared to work at your relationship together and make it his priority? Also wonder if your sex drives have always been mismatched, even if they are it should be possible to meet in the middle.
Frequency of sex does fluctuate during a marriage ime.
The question is whether you are both prepared to work at your marriage, if one of you isnt then sadly it will spell the end.

So you being unhappy with the relationship isn't a problem for him. Hmmm.

Well, it doesn't really sound like he gets this is a big deal for you. Refusing any counselling is not sounding promising. Could he at least take some supplements that increase libido? I know they don't work on everybody, but it's worth a shot.