Scared by someone entering our house today - big argument with DP

[Lickmylegs0]

I need to know I’m not going crazy. I was in garden, and came in to see a strange lady using our toilet. Baby was asleep in room next to door, and my DD was there too. DP had opened door and let lady in to use the toilet, he claims she pushed past him - but I think he should have said ‘no’ firmly.
Man on doorstep wanted to contact previous owners of our bungalow - DP was about to get all our paperwork out. I stopped him and told them to contact estate agent.
Strange lady came back later. I spoke to her through window - she wanted to know if the previous owner had died - and then said the bungalow should belong to them.
I feel very shaken up and DP has been having a go at me saying I overreacted.

I think you both got a bit of a fright, its not a normal thing to happen. I can see where your husband was coming from in his actions if I'm honest. I think him getting the number was his way of getting them to leave and never come back.

Anyway , I'm glad you have come to an understanding about it. And I'm glad you are back on the same page . Good luck

Big thanks to everyone - it’s great hearing all opinions. I was in two minds whether to ring police - and your comments persuaded me to do so. The books sound interesting too, and I shall check them out.

Have you checked there aren't any keys missing? It'd be easy to pick up any spares when nosing around for the toilet

Yes - log it with police in case they try anything further & sort out locking front door all of the time! X

But why would he need a file for the.number..... there is a thing called the internet which houses this information plus a hell of a lot more?!?!?!

I know everyone is different its what makes the world turn and tick but come on... 🤦‍♀️

Keys is a very good point. I checked all sets again last night - all there. But they could have easily been swiped from the side as she walked past.

Hi OP, I have a son who is on the autistic spectrum and although fully functioning and generally able to deal with most social situations. He will react similarly to your husband and fails to understand how certain situations aren’t okay. Could this be a possibility? Especially since you mention that your DP is very ‘technical’.

So, how did he get them to leave in the end, OP?

Did they just say "thanks for the info" and walk out, or did he have to chivvy them out of the door?

I agree with others who have said that anyone can be blindsided by scammers, but it is a bit worrying that he got so defensive about it. Perhaps he was just embarrassed at his gullibility.

I hope that's an end to it now, anyway.

@Elianna Yes, that could be very true. DP comes across as sociable, great sense of humour - but there is ‘something’ there. He doesn’t take charge, and describes himself as reactive rather than proactive. V. disorganised and no sense of time. I myself come from a family of very technical, quirky people - so even though I’m not technical myself, I’ve maybe normalised it in some way...

Most definitely report it to the police - then tell your DH to grow a spine. My DH would gave given them both short shrift in no uncertain terms - especially with DCs in the house!

Why do you have this fixation that "technical" people are absolved from having any trace of simple wit or common sense, op?!
It's extremely odd, if you don't mind me saying so?

@thisismytimetoshine Apologies!! It’s probably the way I’m trying to explain the situation to myself?? I don’t want to stereotype people as being a particular way...

Say in terms of builder - I’ve decided my role is to ‘suss then out’, make contact On a social level and see if they are trustworthy. DP’s role is to analyse all the technical calculations which is just mind blowing bollocks to me....

@Lickmylegs0

Say in terms of builder - I’ve decided my role is to ‘suss then out’, make contact On a social level and see if they are trustworthy. DP’s role is to analyse all the technical calculations which is just mind blowing bollocks to me....

It's bollocks, certainly... . He sounds mind numbingly tiresome.

Well - he can be. I remember him spending an entire evening with his parents discussing visibility jackets. But he is gentle, kind - and trustworthy to the nth degree. His inability to see fault in others is maybe because he doesn’t think that way himself??

Well, you have to live with him. Surely the only thing that matters is that he understands what he did was ridiculously stupid? If he can't or won't 🤷🏻‍♀️
I wouldn't live with him, that's for sure.

I’ve decided that I am more than happy to live with him. Not least because I can learn mind-blowing facts about orbital velocity over breakfast.

You are happy with him OP...that's what matters...he sounds like he has good values & that you each compliment the other. You can put his lack of defender/protector instinct down as a lapse on this instance...just drive it home that it is never ever to happen again!

How long have you been in your house?

Your post suggests Asperger's or Autism to me too.

Get a doorbell camera thing so you don’t have to answer the door,less chance of someone being persuasive then.

I agree with boredbumhead that it's not necessarily your husband's fault. Men are taught not to physically stop or touch a woman. BUT I would be super suspicious of uninvited people coming into my house for any reason whatsoever, especially during lockdown. I would contact the police now. Relate the entire story to them in as much detail as possible. If it is distraction burglary then they may know of other homes this has been done to. If not, then the police should warn other nearby residents (you can do this too if you are friendly with your neighbors) to be on the alert for this intrusive couple. Lock your doors and get some security cameras!