Do you think I've blown it with him?

[swampriver]

Hello.
I've been seeing a guy since January.
We haven't had the "where are we going discussion" yet.
Lately he's changed towards me.
He isn't wanting to speak as much and I get a feeling he thinks he can take the mick.
We speak every day and text also.
He disappeared for a week.
Nothing total radio silence.
I text him 4 times and he looked at them and ignored them.
So 8 days later he texts "what a nice day,the vodka is calling my name"
So without thinking I replied
"Are you speaking to me? Because you couldn't be arsed with me for the past 8 days ..don't bother speaking to me now"
Was I too harsh ?

No you were not too harsh. Why would you want a man who treats you as a casual option?

I was just annoyed that he could blank me for 8 days then expect to swan in and just speak.
It's so rude.

Of course it wasn't too harsh. I hope you're not going to bother further with him.

Why is your title have I blown it with him? Surely ghosting you for 8 days is him blowing it with you? Fuck him off, fgs.

This man is not worth your time.

Block his number.

No, it is good to have standards. Block him and move on.

No not harsh. It's a bit 90s but have you read 'men are from Mars' it's probably horrifically outdated but I found it really helped me. However looking back, I was at the time with a total arsehole who was dismissive and borderline controlling. I would head for the hills actually.

Your title and OP contradict each other. It sounds like you want him to come crawling back.

Ignoring you for 8 days and then swanning back in without even an acknowledgement warrants a response like that, but you have to stick to it and get rid of him. Saying "don't speak to me again" but hoping he will is game playing territory.

he's been off and ignored you, probably seeing how much you are willing to put up with.

Then you wonder if you have blown it when you call him on it? He's got you where he wants you.

Move on.

He’s showing you who he is.
He’s not that into you as he doesn’t stay in touch. Prob has a wife or something.
Bin him and move on.

You're not seeing straight, OP.

Too harsh? I don’t think you were harsh enough! Who does he think he is to treat you with that level of disrespect?! The best thing would be to block him permanently.

I wouldn't respond to any further contact with him.

You haven't blown it with him, you've listened to your own boundaries and told it like it is.

He's blown it with you. Don't bend your boundaries for anybody.

He has no respect for you for ghosting you for no reason. Don't be a mug to such an inconsiderate arsehole end it now.

You know what the cheeky git has just replied
"You haven't gone crazy with the crazy messages have you "

So basically if you call someone out on shitty behaviour your crazy
I'm finished with him.

So why did you let him swan in after 8 days ‘and just speak’ you should’ve ignored his text and blocked him. Frankly, you weren’t harsh enough....

How many more posts about this?

It's definitely him! Nearly 6 months on, even with lockdown, you should have a lot more communication.

Don't reply at all , it will annoy him more than anything else and obviously show him how annoying it is to be ignored.

Typical though, some people drive you crazy then call you crazy when you don't stand for it . This man isn't for you .

Bin. Him. Off.

Prize arsehole alert!!

Don't reply.

He's just testing exactly how badly he can treat you.

swampriver are you actually finished with him though? Have you blocked him? Or are you planning to be mad for a while and once he’s apologised enough and made enough effort you’ll start talking to him again?

Not replying to that message is the best thing you can do. It will leave him stewing. Block, delete and move on. It took me AGES to have the sort of self respect you have shown OP, well done. I put up with so much rubbish from men in my 20s and early 30s. I look back and cringe.

He isnt interested in you but he probabl wants you when hes bored. 8 days is a long time to not want to talk to someone

Ugh it sounds worryingly like for some reason this isn't the end for you?

You're asking if you've blown it with him?!

Surely someone ignoring you for eight days then breezing back in means it's over anyway? Why would you want to salvage anything from that?

And now he's called you crazy...

Please tell me you've made it clear it's over?