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Relationships

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Betrayal

9 replies

Bloom12 · 19/06/2020 02:41

My husband of 16 years went to Qatar to work as a doctor last year in March. Since then I visited him twice and he visited us twice. In August we went there I wanted us to stay and he kept my eldest son there and told me to go back with younger kids and come back in December otherwise he will divorce me as I am disobedient wife. He told this to our kids as well and also threatened them that he will stop sending any money. So, my r eldest son decided to stay there so we don’t get divorce, he has lost his place in the free Grammar school as well. I brought him back in December for holidays and he didn’t want to go back. Last Monday I received a text from him saying I have got married to my second wife, thankfully, Now I have someone to look after me in Qatar. I video called him and he told me that I have got married with a philpino lady who is a teacher and she is 46 years old. My husband is 45 years old. I couldn’t hear any more. When on Friday I rang him and told him off and asked if he is not ashamed of it and he laughed and said no, I haven’t done anything wrong. I also texted him and he blames me for it, He texted me that I can’t understand why are you not happy for me and called me selfish. I am going through Betrayal trauma Symptoms. We have three kids, aged 14, 12 and 9. What is the best course of action for me? I am confused. What are my options? What course of action shall I take?
Please, no hard words as going through enough stress.

OP posts:
scotsllb · 19/06/2020 02:53

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I didnt see if your oldest son is now back with you or still with his dad? Sorry if you said already.
I think you need to seek legal advice as soon as possible and take action from there.
What you would like to happen?

AlwaysCheddar · 19/06/2020 05:27

Get your son into school and see a divorce solicitor.

Halo84 · 19/06/2020 05:31

OP, you should ask to have this thread moved to Relationships or Divorce/separation. You will receive more advice.

Bloom12 · 19/06/2020 07:28

I brought my son back in December.

OP posts:
Bloom12 · 19/06/2020 07:56

How to move the thread to relationships, please?

OP posts:
BerryPieandCustard · 19/06/2020 08:16

So just to clarify, you and all your children are in the UK?
I would get your son into a school, any school if he can’t go back to his original school place.
Do you work or claim benefits? I would be worried if you are just 100% relying on him for money as he has already said he will stop sending money.

I presume that you and your husband are Muslim (given the second marriage plus connection with Qatar) I also presume that as your husband informed you of his second marriage that you did not consent to this before he was married. You now need to decide if you’re willing to remain married to him.
Be very careful with your children as I would be concerned about him keeping them in Qatar and where you stand with being legally allowed to remove them from the country to return to the UK.

Maybe you have friends or family to talk to to help you make sense of you situation and come with you For support to visit a solicitor if you decide to divorce.

DawnMumsnet · 19/06/2020 09:03

@Bloom12

How to move the thread to relationships, please?
We're moving this thread over to our Relationships topic, as requested.

If you ever need us to move a thread, just hit the Report button on any of your posts and let us know which topic you'd like us to move it to.

Bloom12 · 19/06/2020 16:08

Yes, we are all in the UK now.

OP posts:
1235kbm · 19/06/2020 17:42

OP contact Karma Nirvana for advice. It's a 24 hour helpline: 0800 599 9247

You can also contact Gingerbread regarding money, maintenance, schooling etc 0808 802 0925

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