Lockdown ruined relationship.....anyone else?

[Hay2020]

As of the weekend me and my partner have split which has completely broken me.
We were together nearly two years, we didn't live together but would take it in turns to visit eachother at weekends and during the week sometimes depending on work which was never an issue and we were very happy.
However since lockdown things have done a complete u turn.
Within the first month of lockdown my bf advised that he felt a bit different about us and we decided that because we were happy before lockdown to try and work through it as these were not normal circumstances. Everything seemed to be going ok and we seemed to be getting back on track and then out of the blue I didnt hear from him for nearly two weeks, no texts, no nothing. When he eventually got in touch he advised he was in a bad way, had taken drugs and was struggling with everything. (He has also recently got in contact with a mate who is into drugs and keeps asking him for money).

I was trying to be supportive and advised that we should meet up and talk this through. When we met he then told me that he has literally fallen completely out of love with me, which really hit me hard. I knew things were tough but we seemed to be getting back on track and then this.

I am completely confused and heart broken with the situation. Has anyone else had a similar experience??
I know I should let him go but I'm struggling and keep feeling this is not the right decision?

Men mean what they say, so if he's telling you he's fallen out of love then he has.
I'd now give him space, take a step back and look at the relationship for what it is right now. Consider, would you like to stay in the relationship the way it is right now?
To help you make a decision, write down his pro's and cons, a list of what you personally want from any relationship and go from there.

He's fallen out of love because that friend has offered him an alternative way of life which he's going for. I think you've dodged a bullet there, OP.

He'll come grovelling back once the fog lifts. But you need to decide if this person is someone you could see a future with.

Sounds like a loser anyway if he's into drugs and had no repsect to call you for two weeks, sorry op but it's blessing in disguise to longer be with him. I definitely think lockdown has sped the process up for people that probably would of split anyway.

My relationship only lasted a week into lockdown, he didin't tell me he was unhappy but the nit picking, calling me by his ex's name, lack of attention and affection, I wasn't putting up with that so I ditched him but I would of rather he said he wasn't happy with me any longer, it's sucks but i'm glad it ended if there was no lockdown it probably would of dragged on longer.

Men mean what they say, so if he's telling you he's fallen out of love then he has.

Somewhat of an over generalisation!

Of I feel for you OP. It must hurt so much after 2 years.

However, the choice to pick drugs and that lifestyle over you means he isn't worth it. Take time to heal and move on from him.

Good luck.

@Casino218 *
*
Somewhat of an over generalisation!

I see what you mean, I'll have to be careful next time I say things like that. I was just going on my personal experience with men.

@Casino218

I do actually agree with lowlandsea.

Men do say what they mean. Very seldom do they beat around the issue with superfluous words. This is a good thing IMHO.

OP - you need to accept that he's telling you how he feels. Step back from him and use the space to re-evaluate your relationship. Sounds like he's chosen a path into things bad so maybe time to move on.

He had a choice.. You.. or Drugs...

he chose Drugs

Men mean what they say, so if he's telling you he's fallen out of love then he has.

I agree. When it’s a negative thing i.e not aimed at convincing you be with them, they are usually direct or ghost.
It’s when they try to reel you in and say they want to be with you but...., they are not married etc, you also have to look if their actions back up their words. Also in my experience.

I’m sorry OP it sounds really harsh. The drugs don’t sound good though and it’s hard to be with someone who choose this path as it would probably impact many areas of their lives.

It will be hard for a while. I find the easiest way is to go completely cold Turkey and fill your head and life with nice things, things you enjoy, friends etc as much as you can. Good luck 💐

Don't think of it as being 'just that the time was wrong' i.e. lock down happened and it tragically ruined your relationship.

What happened is you found out your boyfriend is a flake. Better you find out now than later.

If he tries to get back with you after lockdown, I wouldn't let him as he'll just do it again sooner or later.

Hugs xxx

I'm sorry to be so blunt but he had made his mind up long before lockdown began. It takes more than a week to decide wether or not you want to continue a relationship, the lockdown is just a perfect excuse for him to use right now. This has been on his mind for weeks, if not months. Nobody falls out of love that quickly no matter what the circumstances are.

He's using drugs and he ghosted you for two weeks like a complete prick.

Good riddance. You can do far better.

There's a thread for a few people currently going through different stages of a break up, if you want some support from us: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3937254-Feeling-sad

If hes chosen drugs over you then surely that should open your eyes???

Can't believe you are mourning a relationship whereby as soon as he can't see you he gets addled on drugs. FFS you have really dodged one there...you owe his thanks for showing you what a twat he is

Dodged a bullet, better to end it now then another 2 yrs down the line with A possible DC even marriage!
He’s made it clear what life he wants, go live yours x

I agree with PP men do mean what they say if it's a negative. The only time they dont is if they're trying to win you over. This is one lesson I have learnt, I've spent years convincing myself to try and read between the lines, if a man tells you he doesn't want you, sadly it's true.

I'm sorry OP but i dont think lockdown ruined your relationship, rather your ex used it as an excuse. He probably would have strung you along first. I suspect someone else or something else, aka the drug lifestyle.

A few of my friends have broken off or been broken up with in lockdown. Lockdown adds a pressure and brought forward the breakups but they always would have happened. I expect that's why so many separations and divorces now, people had settled or been on the fence and the added distance or too much company rent it apart.