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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice on what to think/do

63 replies

Cat112344 · 15/06/2020 01:28

My partner has recently started a new job, neither of us currently drive ( I was doing my lessons then corona happened! ) and he was originally getting a taxi to work. Now he’s worked there for around 3 months. He’ started getting a lift off someone from work he’d made friends with which obviously I thought helped a lot and I was quite happy to be saving money! He has to walk to meet this man, at first he told me it was just down the road by a couple of minutes so one night I told him I’ll walk with him to meet this man as I’ll pop to the shop (he does night shift). All of a sudden he told me he walks around 20 minutes to meet him and explained where it is, which isn’t the way he originally said at all. Thinking nothing of it I though ah it’s ok. A few weeks ago he’d had a drink on his night off and was going on about work. He started talking about some woman there. His eyes lit up and he wouldn’t stop going on about how funny she is etc... I thought she’s just a friend, obviously I won’t have a problem with friends lol. I added her on Facebook as she knows one of my best mates. She messaged my friend randomly asking why have I added her.. my friend replied you’re on my raffle page together that’s probably why. She then went on to say that I don’t have to worry about her ( i hadn’t said I was to anybody!). Anyway he told me (she also told my friend) she does the days there and they see each other for an hour before shop shuts... I’ve recently found out that she’s also on the night shift... last week my partner said that this man was having a week off work so he’d have to get taxis that week.. my friend had told me the week before that this girl was having that same week off. He got a lift on Thursday again and messaged me whilst at work saying ‘some girl at work said you added her on Facebook?’ I said ‘who?’ And he said ‘some (her name) girl’ I said ‘why does that matter?’ To which he didn’t reply. Something feels off. I feel as though he’s hiding something from me, she seemed worried when I had added her. The week off of work he spoke to me 24/7 at work (he told me he couldn’t have his phone out) now that this ‘man’ is back it’s back to barley anything! Also the way that he walks is right next to her house..? Am I over thinking? Could he really be getting lifts off her etc.. if he came to me and said that a girl at work offered him lifts and he assured me it was completely friendly I wouldn’t be too bothered...

OP posts:
famousforwrongreason · 16/06/2020 02:23

@StrangeTimes

Completely off tangent but don’t think I’ve ever read a more woke quote. Absolutely hilarious!!

It's 2020, people of opposing genders can be friends

Lol. I oppose all genders. Positively repel them too.
Greenkit · 16/06/2020 09:48

The shaving down there, seems to be a big red flag, especially if he has never done it before.

He gearing up to have sex with her or has already.

Weenurse · 16/06/2020 09:59

Did his shaving coincide with him being out or away?

Cat112344 · 17/06/2020 04:08

He went to meet a friend a couple of days after I was surprised when he told me he loved so close as I’m sure in the past he’d told me said friend lived at least a 20 min drive away when funnily he went to meet him down by where he walks to work

OP posts:
Cat112344 · 17/06/2020 11:43

Thinking about it this past year there has been a lot of red flags. I hadn’t checked his phone before in our relationship (I didn’t feel I needed to) but after a few different things happening and I decided to look I noticed a quite a few things on his phone like adding ex’s etc, people he’s had a purely sexual relationship with. Just before he changed his phone number, he got a text through and he jumped so fast he hit his leg off our coffee table so I wouldn’t see it first. 😖

OP posts:
NoMoreDickheads · 17/06/2020 11:56

he also did something else quite odd around a month ago.. he shaved completely down there which he has never done before (he was the first time we had sex and never ever since)

Oh dear, this is definitely like something someone first getting off with a new person might do.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 17/06/2020 13:24

Just before he changed his phone number, he got a text through and he jumped so fast he hit his leg off our coffee table so I wouldn’t see it first

My money is on him getting a new phone number FOR YOU. And keeping his sexting phone somewhere else.

Honeyroar · 17/06/2020 15:32

It does feel like there’s something strange going on.

MyOwnSummer · 17/06/2020 20:18

@LorenzoVonMatterhorn has it - only you have the new number.

Have you tried calling the old number from a withheld line to see if he answers?

Cat112344 · 17/06/2020 21:34

I tried it earlier, it isn’t ringing out...

OP posts:
Cat112344 · 19/06/2020 01:46

Also when this woman had the week off work, he was texting a lot more and was clearly mixing up chats. We were talking about the fact a Certain bike or something went past him on his way To work and at this point we weren’t using kisses but he randomly text ‘last night💪🏻😜xx’

OP posts:
Cat112344 · 19/06/2020 01:46

Also another text the other day he was at work and he text me saying out of the blue ‘me or you lol xxx’

OP posts:
LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 19/06/2020 07:13

Just end it then. He isnt even being that careful. It is starting to look like he wants you to end it as he is a coward. So disrespectful.

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