Arrgghh! P***ed off with my DP

[LouBeeLou]

Does anyone else's DP/DH not seem to care sometimes??

Had to take DD to casualty last night as she decided to swallow a pebble, as you do. Anyway to cut a long story short, DD is fine now (they have said it is small enough to pass through her system - YUK!) but I am really cross with DP.

When we got to casualty they said there would be up to a 4 hr wait to see a doctor so I sent DP home saying there was no point both of us waiting around and I would call him with an update or for him to collect us. He said if it was before 11pm call him and he would pick us up, after that he was going to bed!!

THEN, we are supposed to be going to our local pub later in the week and he usually goes earlier to meet his dad and I go later when DD is in bed and the babysitter has arrived. Anyway, there was a very serious sexual assault just around the corner from our house (a woman followed into her own home by a stranger) so we are all a bit nervous about walking about on our own at the mo. I mentioned this to DP, thinking he would suggest going to the pub a bit later TOGETHER, but no, he suggested I drive to the pub instead. Because that would be safer!!

I just feel that sometimes he doesn't care. I wouldn't want him to be checking my every move but it really riles me sometimes that he seems totally unconcerned with my whereabouts or safety (or feelings for that matter!). I sure he would only wonder where I was once I'd been missing for a fortnight and the fridge was empty.

God sorry, that was a major rant! Thanks if you've read this far!

x

I think everyone goes thru this sometimes and it does drive you mad. Also I think we all know that men trying to second guess women doesn't work. I would just be upfront and say - I'm not happy walking to the pub and I don't want to drive - until that nutter is caught could you hang back and we'll go together. I know you're dad will understand.... Hopefully he'll get it!!!!

Thanks beachyhead, I just sometimes feel I shouldn't have to say anything as he should just automatically think of me/us. You know how it works with your girlfriends/mum/sisters?

But then that would be to credit a man with a moderate amount of initiative which my DP rarely seems to display!

"Men are dumb." That little statement of truth can explain so many things.

Un-perceptive

Is that a word?

Yeah, it means dumb.

Sorry if I'm being unfair to all the nice DP/DHs out there. But, mine is a bit more like yours. Actually he's a real life jekyll and hyde. SOmetimes he is the most thought fun romantic. But, if it isn't convenient he the biggest most inconsiderate arse there ever was.

He has yet to acknowledge that pregnant wonen in their first trimester have a need for more sleep than he does... GRRRRR

Sorry, this is your rant, not mine. Anywaym as I was saying, "men are dumb."

Yeah, Jekyll & Hyde is about right.

Except my DP is never nasty, just an inconsiderate grumpy arse at times - usually at the times when I really need him.

Feel free to rant with me Uwila - a good rant is very therapeutic I think.

I don't think they are like mum or sisters cos they are not really family in the same way. I also have grumpy arse with man flu at the moment which is not helping. Am hoping lemsip will resume normal behaviour!!!

I have symapthy. My moan is my dps jumps out of his seat to help anyone do DIY, drive them places, lend them money, hell get out or bed for other people, he will turn up in time for other people...but if its for me he will make 10 excuses why he cant...even thought he does eventually, he lingers to make us late for things and he just pisses me off. Thank you for listening!!!!!!

if my dh had said - dont ring me after 11 i'll be in bed - i would have flung said child and gone home fer some kip miself. hope you pulled him on that one.

why dont you go to pub earlier and let him stay for babysitter - that way he could drive you there and walk himself.

I just meant that my mum and most of my girlfriends would know that something was wrong without me saying anything. And they would usually drop things to come and cheer me up, or offer to help out with a problem.

With DP I could be sprawled on the floor bawling my eyes out with I AM FEELING VERY VERY UPSET written on my forehead in capital letters and he will offer a limp 'is something bothering you?'.

Had the best one last week 'Is it an emotional period this month darling?' followed by a huge rant from me about how the P in PMT stands for PRE which means BEFORE and as I was on at the time it was not the week BEFORE my period so I could not possibly be suffering from PMT!

Um......perhaps I am the Jekyll and Hyde sometimes??!!

Uwila - I know exactly how you feel about the sleep! DP just could not understand why i was so tired. Two months after DS was born I was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid which makes you hideously exhausted (great fun with a new baby) and I still haven't had even an hours more sleep than him! If i mention I'm tired he says 'again?'

No you are not the J and H. J and H is when people change their personalities without rhyme or reason. You clearly have a reason for your feelings/behaviour.

And, furthermore, only a dumb person doesn't think that it would be dangerous for you to walk to the pub alone -- or perhaps a selfish one.

Back to the original question (sorry, I've strayed soooooo far away), I would probably drive the car to the pub. But,I would proceed to drink a couple of nice yummy pints and then he could drive me home. And, if wasn't able to drive, then I guess he'd have to go get the car in the morning... of course thisplan would probably backfire on me because my husband would just let the car be towed.

But,I would be really mad, and silence wouldn't be my chosen course of action.

Lunavix, when I was pregnant last time, DH wouldn't help me tie my shoes when I couldn't reach them anymore. I asked him to helo me, and he just let out this big sigh of distress like I was really putting him out. I was so pissed off at his selfishness, that I said "right, then I am getting a new pair of shoes today that don't have laces" And I did.

Now he tells stories of when I was pregnant like he was some loving all supportive prince charming and I just look at him wondering what planet he has just fallen off of. It's like hmmm, you looklike my husband, your voice is that same, but that story you just told... well, it wasn't about my pregnancy.

Why am I the only one talking here??????

Think I will drive to the pub.

Then make him drive home, or give me a lift in the morning to get my car.

Sorry Uwila, I am here in spirit!

Just that lunch break is over now so can only snatch the odd moment on MN when no-one is looking!

I'd tell him he's paying for a taxi or you are going to the local where there's a nice bartender who'll give you a lift!

Uwila - don't I know it, he told me I should appreciate that he didn't go down the pub and wait for me to give birth like his friends do, and instead he was telling me he didn't believe i was in labour yet!

oooo that's good. Yes, go with the nice bartender who will give you a lift. Trouble is the dumb man won't appreciate the humor there.

What? He told you that you weren't in labour??? I can think of no better evidence to support the claim that men are dumb.

In his defence the midwife said it too.... and tried sending me home.

10 hours later we have ds. I am so glad i insisted on the drugs in my so-called false labour!

No kidding! That was my worst fear with dd that I would go into labour and then the hospital would say, oh sorry, too late for the epidural. But, then she was overdue, I had a swwep, I had waters broken, I was induced, foetal dostress, emergency caesarean.... But I had my epidural because I insisted on it before I let her break the waters.

God that was all terrible. Just thinking about it makes my cervix hurt. I think I'll go straight for the slice in the belly next time (if they will let me).