what do normal couples talk about?

[tinkerbella85]

what do normal couples have conversations about? ive been with my partner 5 years and i feel like im at a point where i feel we literally have nothing to talk about anymore. we come home from work quick hows ure day gone, tea, shower, usually slap some rubbish on the tv and then off to bed we go. and my partner will say we’ve barely spoken today. cos i feel like i literally have nothing to say, unless something consequential happened in my day im not really one for talking about work, ive been at work all day i dont really want to come home and then spend all evening talking about work!
quick conversations about the weather and the news and have we heard from family and that’s literally all we speak about!

13 years, same as previous posters really but I think both DH and I are naturally very chatty people. Are you both quite quiet? Do you find conversations hard around friends and family?

We can go hours without talking, but it's comfortable. I'm not a big talker anyway, generally keep my mouth shut unless I have something to say or I'm answering or engaging in a conversation. But when we do talk it's about most things. The state of the world, the kids, work or the lack thereof (we own an events catering business which has come to an abrupt halt). Our favourite conversation just now, which I think may be madness due to lockdown, is the narrative we have made up for the birds in the garden. At the moment Mrs Sparrow is needing some attention and Mr Sparrow, who is trying his best to oblige, just looks knackered. Or the bats who when they come out at night, remind us of a bunch of small children playing. Oh and baby blackbird who is more than capable of feeding himself, instantly turns into a helpless little bird as soon as mum or dad come out. I'll shut up now....

Anything and everything.

politics, news, kids, pets, jobs that need doing around the house, plans for future, holidays and a lot of inconsequential rubbish too!

Current affairs - politics, economy
Tech (we both work in tech but different aspects)
Kids and going to Uni soon
Weekend and what we'll do
Future holidays and weekend plans
Garden
Parents/family
Maybe what's on TV (not big TV watchers though)
Films - plan in a night for a film as we like specific ones
What to bake this weekend

Last night:
Economy of Scotland
"Newest formed countries" - brought up by DS
What to get for food (we change quite a lot) last night we discussed what to get to use some homegrown herbs (sounds boring but we like it)
Whether I should do an upcoming Russian course - yes

Are you both quiet or do you chat "better" to other people?
I found I could chat better to other people than my h. We are now separated and trying to communicate with him about the dc is like pulling teeth.

Conversation should flow easily, I wonder if there is something bothering you or DP. I would turn the TV off and have a drink together, tv and phones are so distracting if all you do is sit infront of them.
One of the reasons I ended a relationship once is because he only wanted to watch tv or play games on his phone and I felt like I could not communicate well with him.

There's a trick to conversation between couples, or anyone you spend vast amounts of time with, I guess. You don't have to really think about what you're going to say, you just say whatever pops into your head, and the other person responds. It's a bit like a stream of consciousness in our house. If I had to come up with a deliberate, well thought out topic of conversation each time, we'd probably have very little to talk about

Any old shit.

We've been together 16 years, married 10.

We spend a LOT of time together (run our own business) but generally have something to chat about.

Business, news, stuff we've read that day, people we know, our daughter, the pets, next holiday plans, music, films, games.

Last night we giggled for a long time about really weird things (normally how our conversations end) we've eaten in America.

Basically whatever we're thinking we say aloud with each other. Sometimes it's boring for the other one but always worth a bit of a chat.

I wouldn't like to live with someone who I couldn't talk any old shit with. My brain is pretty non stop with it.

Also - I realise now that reads like we never stop talking.

Because we do spend all day together working (or at home at the moment) it does mean we don't feel bad of an evening if we aren't talking.

He'll often play online games with his friends. And I'll chat with mine.

We do have a cuddle and chat once in bed though.

Everything and anything!

People, the kids, politics, gardening, work, house stuff, anything you can think of really. There's never nothing to say!

It doesn't sound like a good sign if you have nothing to talk about OP. Sorry.

Is it just recently op. I think everyone is finding something tough right now in their relationships.

This situation has put everything under a microscope and made issues bigger than they actually are.

Cut both of you some slack and just go with what feela natural.

We talk about
Children
Our friends
What we're watching on tv
Current events
Whether I should start sewing us masks (it comes up every day- I'm getting the machine out tonight)
Today's daily briefing and whether it affects us directly
Sink holes.

It really doesn't matter what you talk about but you need to create opportunities to talk. DH and I have two evenings a week where we don't look at our phones or put the tv on. We either play card games or board games generally and conversation just happens!

Yesterday we had a fine debate about the young footballers who broke lockdown with roasting parties!

Maybe the problem is not that you have nothing to say, but that you have nothing to do? If all I do is work and watch TV, I get pretty boring too. Hard to do much else at the moment, I know!

We walk round town and talk about the buildings/development/history.
Gossip about other people.
Current events.
Holidays we could go on.
Where to get more masks as I am bored of sewing them and they seem to vanish within minutes :) (We are a few weeks ahead in Germany!)
Stuff we have done when the other wasn't there - hobbies etc.
Food and drink - stuff we have eaten, how to cook it.

We don't watch much TV, but when we do, we discuss it as we watch. I love this, as my exh thought it was sacrilege :) - if I said who I thought dunnit in a whodunnit, he'd be pissed off as if it was a plot spoiler! Current amore will happily discuss who looked guilty when.

Together similar amount of time
We also watch Tv in the evenings and have one date night a week. DP mainly talks about his work, he's in a demanding job where is work never stop. I talk about my work and family. We mainly laugh, make jokes and be silly. We have the same sense of humour which keeps the spark

No idea. I haven’t listen to what he says in years.

14 years together.
Mostly moaning about our builders at the moment. Other than that:
Our son
Current news and politics
Food
DIY and garden plans
Sports
Pet food - his business
Big business - mine
And lots of how lucky we are due to the choices we have made - we have fared OK in recent weeks

Don't either of you do anything other than go to work, come home and eat, watch TV and sleep ?

A lot of our conversations are about the things we are involved in - you now, our social life. Things we do as hobbies, volunteering. Aslo things that all the other people we mix with might have mentioned.

"When I was at X last night, Sam mentioned they were........" is a normal type of conversation starter - whether it is going on some holiday or digging up their patio or choosing to be vegans or buying a new car is irrelevant really, it is something that is a conversation starter.
or
"Fred, at Y, was saying they went to see {insert film title} last weekend. Said he was blown away. Never expected to enjoy it - might beworth us going to see it?"
or
"I was talking to Jane, from choir, and she said they went to {place you were thinking of going on holiday} last year, and will let us know the company they booked it through. She said {this} was really disappointing, but she was surprised how good {that} was"

etc
etc
etc

By mingling with all sorts of different people and doing all sorts of different things, you naturally have stuff to talk about.

Today conversation has been
Who is doing which cleaning
His work calls and my nearly completed books
The dog and getting soaked at lunchtime- whether to light a fire
Discussion on whether to find a film we agree on
Wasps nests
Sweet peas and peonies
Whether I need to make more masks
Our sons planned house move and logistics of moving
Getting our daughters property from her student accommodation
The online grocery order
The new JM scent he’d ordered
Whether we have folding chairs in the shed still.
Which car to buy next.

That sort of stuff.

Everything... the kids, the pets, family, friends, politics, music, the house, the garden, places we have been, places we want to go, memories, DIY plans, cooking , being more healthy all sorts 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think it is a lot harder at the moment as our worlds are so much smaller. We would usually talk a lot about our day (now both at home together on furlough), friends we have seen, sport, planning places to go at the weekend, restaurants we want to go to, looking at holidays etc. All of which are pretty much off the table for now. We work in the same industry so there is a lot of chat on that in regular times but virtually nothing happening now. We also usually talk quite a bit about politics but are both so sick of it all we’re avoiding that. We’re talking more about films we want to watch and books we’re reading, things we’d like to cook etc so not short on subjects but it has definitely been a big change.