Anyone else destined to be alone for the rest of their lives?

[Springisintheair2]

Anyone else feel like they're doomed to be alone forever? Have never had anyone be in love with me, I don't know what that feels like. Once thought I'd met 'the one' and everything was going well and suddenly he moved quite far away and we didn't really speak after that. Bit embarrassed to admit I'm just very lonely, can't remember the last time I had a hug or another adult to talk to.

That sounds like I have a bountiful supply of shaggables but I don't! Not really.

Good for you @bunsnroses1. It should be seen as a valid lifestyle choice to stay single. The people trying to nudge us into relationships are in the wrong.

It should be seen as a valid lifestyle choice to stay single. The people trying to nudge us into relationships are in the wrong.

Absolutely. It is interesting that we don't see threads on Mumsnet entitled "Anyone else destined to be married for the rest of their lives?"
Being single is a valid lifestyle choice and many people are better suited to this than married life for a whole raft of reasons.

I know a woman who I see in a professional context once a week. Since I split up with my heavy-drinking, brothel-going ex 18 months ago, she asks me every week if I've met someone else. She says I need to get a move on and find someone or I'm going to be an old spinster cat lady. Every week I say I'm not interested in meeting someone else. I find it rather ironic that she says this to me yet she has regular problems with her 'D'H and often cries about his behaviour - drinking, aggressive, does nothing at home etcetc.

Old spinster cat ladies rock!

I have an added reason to wish to stay single. My ex-husband legally robbed me of my life savings in the divorce. I won’t be making that mistake again.

I see staying single as not just a lifestyle choice but a health benefit. No stress, no mess and no coat tail riders. I love being alone but have been that way all my life.
I've been single now for going on 14 years and although I'm not past it (46 maybe I am?) I have no urge to be involved with anyone again whether just dating or in a relationship. Had a couple of short relationships but single men of my age seem to have some fucked up thinking.

I got 2 cats last year so am definitely in the spinster cat lady group! I think they were on to something though. Cats (or dogs if you're more of a dog lover) do make good company and give you affection. Animals just want food and love. Nothing more complicated than that. I haven't felt lonely at all since I got them.

I got 2 cats last year so am definitely in the spinster cat lady group!

My cats are great. They've been here nearly 2 years now and their predecessors were with me for 14 years and their behaviour has been great. None of them have ever come in rolling drunk and yelling; nor have they been out to brothels (as far as I know); they haven't left a mess everywhere and expected me to clean it up and then constantly moaned about the standards of housekeeping while doing none themselves. One of the cats I have now helps with all the chores including emptying the washing machine.

I hope I'm single for ever , relationships just give me stress !
I dont even think about being single, I'm just me , living my life.
Its terrible how some people are made to feel ' incomplete ' because they are not tied to another adult . I think its madness !

We aren't, ergo some men must be in similar positions

Think there are several reasons why this isn't the case.
1.Generally men will date in a much larger age range than women so our pool is smaller. There is no stigma to men dating younger women but the same does not apply to men.

1. I also think men are more selfish/focussed on self than women. Whenever I hear of amazing adventures/sportatives by men I think of their partner at home holding the fort whilst they get their training in.

1. Men are generally less emotionally aware and women outperform men in empathy and interpersonal relationships, whereas men are stronger in assertiveness and confidence. End result is women generally give more.

Generally men will date in a much larger age range than women so our pool is smaller. There is no stigma to men dating younger women but the same does not apply to men.

Our age ranges are smaller because most 35 year olds won't date that 55 year old who thinks he's in with a shot. So men actually only have a larger imagined pool.

No more relationships for me. I think I'll get a dog when I retire to keep me company. 🙂

I am thriving on actively making a choice to be and stay single. Own house good career, lots of time for creative pursuits, travel and rest. I am the opposite, I see being a single woman as being in the optimum group for happiness. As proved by studies.
I never wanted children, I've had a few long term relationships which always ended up being an albatross rather than an enhancement.

I feel as if I have escaped social conditioning, that being a wife and mother is the pinnacle of female achievement which it can be, for some, but the opposite for others.

I've always felt like this though so it's not as if I'm settling for second best, it's how I've always wanted to live.

So men actually only have a larger imagined pool. wink

Ha, I know some men are deluded but I think if you did a survey on MN age differences where the man is older is more common than the other way around. 50+ men do think 35+ is acceptable range.I think they would date 10 years younger whereas women look for around their age/life stage.

Yep, I’d rather be single for the rest of my life than have sex with a man 10+ years older. I find men in their 50s targeting me really creepy and deluded. Ideally, I’d be looking for someone between 30 and 42 at the absolute extreme. I find guys in their 30s like me most attractive. I also get a lot of attention from much much younger men and that’s pretty creepy too.

I'm 53 with a primary school age DD. I don't want to live with a man again, I don't want to be joined at the hip with a man, I don't want to give all my free time to a man, but I would like a relationship and a sex life. But I think seeing somebody 2 or 3 times a month probably isn't what most men want