Are there really any good men out there?

[Tillylils]

I've been single for a while and I just seem to be meeting to talking to online, a long stream of horrible men.
My father is a good man but I don't know any others. When I think of all the men I know, there isn't one that I think you make a good partner and would treat a woman correctly.
I don't think I'm asking for too much, he doesn't have to be amazing looking, just someone who will behave decently.
Feeling a bit hopeless at the moment.

I think the other thing to bear in mind is there are a lot of single guys who are very driven in their careers which means they normally have a fairly strict routine - up early, work 12 hours, gym, eat repeat etc at least that is how it is for the couple of single guy friends I have. The issue being of course is unless you work with them they never show themselves to us!

What you're really asking is are there good single men out there. Hearing a long list of good men in relationships doesn't answer the question.
IMO good single men don't stay single for long, so naturally the dating pool has a higher number of remaining buttheads.
And the older you get the harder it is because more and more go off 'the market'.

Yes there are good men. My dh is very good looking but at the start I thought he was too nice ( after meeting alot of dickheads) I thought there must be something wrong with him, but that was me being immature and stupid.
He was just shy and ince I got to know him he was so funny and kind and caring. 10 years later he is still handsome if not more and he is the most attentive caring husband and father.
Maybe you have the mentality I had thinking too nice if they not cocky and full of themselves when you first meet then you dont see them as potential love interest?

Keep holding out. My DP is wonderful and I have never known anyone to treat anyone so well - I feel lucky every day. I was in an abusive relationship for years before. You will find someone

@Flyingf1edgelings why do you think that happens? I ask as I think I fall for that too even though I have high self esteem and self worth. Maybe it's more because I'm just less likely to notice the nicer ones as they're less in your face so to speak.

OP- just curious, are you only looking for men from your own background/ethnic group? Cos that really narrows the pool of available men.

My DH is amazing, we have been married 5 years, he cooks me lunch and dinner, and tells me he loves me everyday. He is very caring towards his mum and sisters too. He does a lot of housework and works very hard in his job. He is also very good looking. But we weren't born in the same country and come from completely different backgrounds.

A good Friend of mine was just about to do OLD and was talking about it at a BBQ. A kind an attractive soul suggested giving him some tips for his profile over coffee.
Clueless to a fault he turned up for coffee with his laptop. He was off the market before he was ever on it!

My ex husband (early 40s) is one of the nicest people I've ever met. We just married too young and grew apart.

One of my friends reckons that all men are dickheads. He said it's just about finding one you can live with and knowing what your boundaries are and binning when they cross them.

I think he's right.

@SunshineSmellsLikeSummer

I've said similar - everyone is an arsehole in some way or another, you just have to decide whether this person's arsehole tendencies are some you can live with then you're set.

I'm sure I'm not perfect either and that's also good to remember!

When you have high standards it will take longer to sift through the bad lot but there is people coming in and out of relationships all the time and whatever your age is. Doesn't mean all men or women over 30 are any more 'weird or not the good ones' than other age groups.

Don’t give in OP and don’t try too hard either, it will become exhausting. It will probably happen when you least expect it. It did for me after I felt in a similar position to yourself. I was casually sitting at my desk at work and in walked a few newbies, the guy at the front caught my eye the second he came through the door, I felt so giddy looking him 🤣 I leaned to a lady on another desk and said ‘ohhh look, they’ve delivered me a husband’ 😂 although I am still patiently waiting for my ring we have been together 7 years and have a DS 17 months old and life is great, he’s beyond the kind of guy I could have imagined to meet and restored my faith in the fact there are good men out there. Hold on OP, the time will come xx

My problem is they never seem to like me back! I'm online dating and its the hardest bloody thing I've ever done I come across a decent guy and he never seems to like me back. I attract the narcissists and the players, I'm losing hope of ever finding a good man. Friends say to leave OLD and find someone in real life but I never meet any blokes in real life, it genuinely seems hopeless.

@mermaidwaves I thought with OLD you both have to like one another to speak?

My dad is the biggest twat going. I managed fo find the most amazing man who also had an amazing dad who treated me like his own until he very sadly passed away. It completely restored my faith in men.

@Coronaway I've no idea. I think I was young and dumb liked the bad boy, I was in a physically abusive relationship before I met dh.
I'm so glad i got to know him i adore the ground he walks and vice versa.

@AGoodYearfortheRoses

I think there are but sadly they’re all taken 🙄 If you’re past your 20s/30s and OLD all that’s left is saddos, weirdos and other people’s rejects ime. There’s reasons why they’re single unfortunately

The same as all the female on line daters on here?

Judging by the majority of replies OP there's plenty of decent men but they're all in relationships 🤣
I started OLD lately, mainly because of loneliness and boredom. Well I can say that pretty swiftly deleted all the accounts.
Ghosters, one word answers, straight into sexual talk, frightening profiles, generic openers, I shudder just thinking about it.
I'm in my 40s, maybe this is the problem but I'm afraid I feel quite hopeless about the situation
My ex turned up out of the blue last week. I'd blocked him everywhere but I had been questioning my (myriad) reasons for ending it. Within less than five minutes of opening his mouth he inadvertently confirmed the reasons why I had dumped him.
I have seen him on date sites since we split (guessing he never removed his profile when we were a couple, as all the same pics and spiel has been updated, I just never thought to check).
He's bloody good looking and Other women would meet him and on the surface believe he's quite a catch.
On paper he has everything but scratch beneath the surface and then you need to RRRUUUNNNNNN!!!!

There are, but they're not single. Especially past their early 30s

About half of men I know are lovely.

I know a lot of men who I'm happy to be friends with. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with any of them though!

Think about it. If he is so good why would he be single? He would be snapped up and kept.

My dearest friend in the world is 28, single and a really good man. (I'm married before anyone asks.) He has set up his own business and is funny, caring, interesting, honest and sweet. He can't bear the idea of internet dating and is single but would like to meet someone. He absolutely is an undiscovered gem. Some ARE out there, quietly doing their thing.

missmouse101

I've met men like him. I even married one. He was even a virgin when we met at 26 because he was waiting for the 'right girl' and fell out with his lifelong best friend when he suggested they went to a lap dancing club (I know it's true - we were together at the time).

Didn't stop him from signing up to no strings sex websites when my dad was dying because he felt neglected though...

Miss mouse is he unattractive?