Shallow to end a relationship because of celibacy?

[alltoomuchrightnow]

It won't be the main reason at all but it is an important one to me, to consider ending over.
Please don't ask me the reasons why the celibacy as been through this before on MN, DP won't seek help and doesn't actually want to. It really is final on that score. This has never been my choice however it's killed a lot of the love between us. We live as housemates really, which I find very sad, hollow and depressing
I keep being told I'm shallow by certain friends I have told. But some of them are in celibate relationships and are fine with it.
But that's them, It's not fine for me.
I do have libido I do have desire/drive, and I miss intimacy, sexual love, romantic love.
Sex is important, it's not everything but is important, I've been without for too long.
It's not what I want any more.
Am I shallow? I'm not seeking justification I think mind is made up but I'm sad

[user1481840227]

It's not shallow at all.
What a dismissive word for them to use and it doesn't in any way reflect the seriousness of a relationship where you don't get your intimacy needs met.

One friend is actually furious with me as says she' s lived without sex for years, never wants it again and she likes me DP, she also knows he's been abusive in past, so she knows there's good reason, not just the sex! Yet she seems so angry with me and keeps lecturing about what on earth will I do, where will I go etc.. well I don't know! But I'll work it out! I feel so unsupported

That's not a friend. I'd call her out on her bullshit tbh and tell her to drop the lectures. If you still want her to be your friend i'd also tell her you're not going to mention your relationship to her again so to keep her opinions to herself...but really I don't see why you would want to be friends with her!

[Anothernick]

Sex defines a relationship. If you are not having sex and have no intention of doing so in the future then what you have is a friendship, not a relationship.

The OPs relationship is already over as her DP refuses to have sex with her.

[AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter]

Aside from leaving this relationship, I'd also consider having a good long look at your friendships OP.

They arent friends. Friends support each other and listen to what their friends are telling them and they have empathy for each other when they are unhappy. Your friends sound horrible- they are projecting ALL their fears and insecurities about their own celibate relationship onto you. Pressurising you to remain in a relationship that causes you unhappiness is disgusting behaviour. If they are happy with remaining celibate (and from what youve said, it doesnt sound like they are happy with this at all deep down) then thats fine but you arent them and what I want for my own life wont be what my friends choose for theirs.

Of course they dont want you to leave him- because that means youve done what they dont have the guts to do: leave a relationship that isnt satisfying you.

[alltoomuchrightnow]

Berties, I think you summed it up.

[alltoomuchrightnow]

Berties.. that's it... 'misery loves company'