He's just not that in to you...

[loopylou2020]

I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this as the title says but I'm hoping i can get some advice!!

So I'm recently single (7 year relationship) and have recently started talking to a guy again I used to fancy but was friends with and met 10 years ago. He's always liked ALL my social media posts over the years and I'm sure he used to fancy me too..

Anyway I'm not from the same area as him but have friends there. He told me to let me know when I was back and we could meet up for a walk. So I'm in the area soon and arranged to meet that day. We were chatting pretty constantly for a few days prior to that and it was mildly flirty. He's never once asked me if I was single although I was making it semi-obvious I was. The last few days he's hardly been taking at all, seems very withdrawn. I know he has been busy refurbishing his house BUT he is on social medics constantly and my most recent message he's totally ignored

He's really not that into me is he?? Why arrange to meet but then be really untalkative when you've been CONSTANT for the days previous? Or is he just busy? Why post on social media and ignore me? No idea. Help

I don't even know if I should message him to confirm the meet is still on!

I say dont contact him. This is an opportunity for you both to show your hand. You've shown yours, now wait. Make your plans and go thro with them. If he wants to meet, he will set it up. Otherwise the whole thing is pushed along by you.

I think he just wanted to be friends, there's no guessing if a guy really likes you he would make it known, he's ignored your message so just leave it at that.

@Crystalspider @something2say you are both totally right! Thank you x

I see this kind of thing on here ALL the time. I've been guilty of it myself in the past, I think most of us have. We convince ourselves they have feelings for us, we convince ourselves there is a valid reason why they haven't been in touch. He's working, he has childcare issues, he's scared of getting hurt, he has a friend in trouble who really needs him right now, his phone is broken, he is poorly, he is desperate to get in touch but obviously he has been kidnapped by a unicorn who won't release him without a bag of magic beans. It's all bollocks OP and you know it. Know your WORTH. If he wants to make time for you, he will.

I don't know about you, but from now on if I want anymore flakes I'll go to an ice cream van and buy a 99p. Put him in the fuck it bin and move on x

Wise wise words @AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit 💪🏼

You're welcome 😊

If he was mildly flirting, were you reciprocating? Maybe he just doesn't know you're into him?

I'd take no notice of someone posting on social media and not responding to a text though. I'm super guilty of that all the time. Texts require time and thought and social media doesn't really

Oh my goodness I could have written this post. I'm recently single too after separating from my DH. Anyway a guy I used to date about 15 years ago got in touch and we had a lunch date and due to meet up for first time in ages this weekend. His communication skills are shockingly shit, and I was forever making excuses like a pp said. Unicorns, held hostage, in hospital etc. Last week I messaged him to make arrangements about timings etc....mid conversation after I ask a particular question, nothing. Nothing! He has ignored that text and it's been 3 days and still hasn't answered. It's made me realise that I'm done with making excuses for his crap ability to send a text and his poor communication. Maybe he isn't interested in having to meet up socially distanced or me at all, but I'm not wasting anymore time. When he does finally answer or if he does, I'll be telling him that I don't want to meet up now anyway and I'm not interested. It's put me off him. I won't be texting him again and don't you send one either OP x

@shootmenow2020 yes I think I have been flirting back for sure! Nothing major but I would say it was obvious. He used to flirt with my horrendously obvious and I just shot him down 🙈 god knows! I'm pretty sure he's just messaging someone else instead!

@Ilikethemhotnearly40 oh 1000% not messaging him or asking if our walk is still on seriously fuck the ignorant prick 😂😂 I am well aware I am being very tetchy, maybe he just can't be arsed with messaging much

I bet he'll let the appointed day come and go, and then get in touch all blasé as if it had never happened, expecting more ego boosting flirtation. Channel your inner ice queen and freeze him out!

Sometimes they like the flirty chat and have no intention of meeting up.
Way to keep their ego inflated

@loopylou2020 and@AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit I’m with you on this one!

@Aerial2020 @@Walkacrossthesand perfectly possible yes. But I have actually been friends with this guy for a long time. He was one of my best friends for a good 2 years before I moved. And I know he isn't the fuck boy type (or at least he wasn't). It would be very uncharacteristic of him to ghost me but we will see! I'm not messaging him again!

Could be any reason but don't waste your time guessing.
If he wants to be in touch he will.

Had something similar happening. Turned out he had actually someone else closer to him.

Sorry to derail the thread OP (you have received excellent advice by the way!)...

I am going to steal your line awisewoman!

I don't know about you, but from now on if want anymore flakes I'll go to an ice cream van and buy a 99p.

A 99p from the ice cream van is so much better than kissing a frog though :)!

I'm pinching that too.....

@loopylou2020 I'm being very tetchy too, but it's these ignorant pricks that make us like it I'll be channelling my inner ice queen and freezing the fucker out 😂 good advice @Walkacrossthesand 👍🏻

@Ilikethemhotnearly40 so bloody annoying!!! I only want to meet this bloke so I can FINALLY get over him and move on after 10 years of fancying him and thinking 'what if' 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think you have your answer with his no reply.
A friend once told me as a woman 'you are the prize'
As in not an actual prize or trophy but if a man wants to see you, he will try his damn hardest to make that happen. And if he doesn't, he really isn't that bothered.
You've shown your interest now let him show his.

Did you ask if he was single?

@ravenmum no he told me he was single 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Aerial2020 you are right. I'm not messaging him for sureeeee