I'm very emotional right now so I hope I can articulate myself properly.
My Dm and I have always had an ok relationship, my older DB is the favourite, even commented on by other friends and family. My dm has always denied this and said it's because I argue and it's the way that I am that makes her favour my db.
I am a quiet person but one that will always stand up for myself and others.. I'm never one to just agree I'm very opinionated this is true.
However I can remember from being very young I really felt the difference between how she looked at ny db and how she looked at me. I was always an annoyance to her and she definitely contributed to my low self esteem by laughing and making fun of me when I would sing or dance etc..
Despite this since I moved out and had my children I will usually ring her everyday just to chat. We do have little arguments but we'll usually just be fine the next day.
There have been times where shes very unfairly gone mad at me over something but when my db or sis in law have done the same shes said nothing.
Today I went round with the dc to see my parents, it started raining so we went into the back living room (we have gloves on and stayed more than 2 metres plus we have had the virus)..twice I told my dc to stand back as my dm walked past..the first time she looked at me and said I was insane, the second time she told me to never come over again and that I'm a ridiculous human being.
I started crying after she'd left the room, my dad saw me and asked me what was wrong, I told him I didnt understand why she was like this when I'm just trying to keep her safe, she came running in telling him that I'm a bad person and she was shaking worse then I've ever seen her, she said i was trouble and that she didnt understand why she had me as a daughter and that she was going to leave home!
My sis in law is much much stricter about this than me and she would never set foot in the house at the minute or let my mum and dad near their twin babies. My mum accepts that just fine. But why go crazy at me for the same thing?
For the record I have a great relationship with my db and dsil, it's not about them but why does my DM hate me so much?
And why the sudden shaking and calling me names out of the blue?
Her own mother when she was older had periods where she didnt remember my dm and would accuse her of all sorts and not let her in the home. I wonder if my mother is going the same way?
Sorry for the rant, im not even sure what anyone can advise me.I just needed to vent I suppose.