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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

His mum is an issue? Follow up thread

55 replies

MamaOl · 03/06/2020 11:13

For those who knew about my previous thread:

He’s been ignoring me for two weeks straight now and it’s really affected my mental health
My family say they are worried about me so much I’ve had to move in with them as they don’t trust me to be alone at home
I don’t focus on my son
I only focus on him
He just won’t talk to me and I have tried absolutely everything I can

What do I do now? I haven’t contacted him since Sunday thinking he will message as I’ve stopped but all he’s done is upload a pic on fb with him smiling with a beer in what looks like a pub,
I don’t know if it’s to get at me but it has.

I can’t cope anymore

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaOl · 03/06/2020 19:37

@Gazelda thing is I really do understand that. I’m just so hurt by him ignoring me that’s all I feel at the moment - hurt - I have sent so many messages and not once in 2 weeks has he acknowledged me once. I feel crushed like I don’t exist, I apologised and apologised 😢

OP posts:
Menora · 03/06/2020 19:48

Can you post 1 post that is about your child and not about your ex or how you feel

NoseyfriendNC · 03/06/2020 19:51

If he wanted to speak to you he would. Get on with your life. You keep ringing him and begging after him is going to push him away more so take care of yourself and your son and ignore him for the next month. You will feel so much better.

Gobbycop · 03/06/2020 19:54

Can you post 1 post that is about your child and not about your ex or how you feel

Exactly, shocking.

Look after your kid for christ sake.

BlessYourCottonSocks · 03/06/2020 19:56

Honestly, this is embarrassing.

Please stop. You need to focus on the fact that you are a mother - and currently a pretty poor one, by the sounds of it. Your poor son - ignored because you are obsessed with some sad bloke. This man was a waste of time and your silly game playing and desperation is insane.

Please get some counselling before you try and embark on another relationship with anyone. And for God's sake stop asking people what you should do now. We've all told you. Find some bloody dignity.

Zaphodsotherhead · 03/06/2020 19:56

You are ill.

You need help.

Please reach out to someone who can help you. Obsessing like this over a man who NEVER loved you and now doesn't give a flying fuck how you feel is not normal. For the sake of your son, please get yourself the help you so clearly need.

And stop raking over it all for the drama.

Gazelda · 03/06/2020 19:57

I almost can't believe I'm typing this, but here goes ...

If you had to choose between your ex and your DS, which would you pick?

Tabithha · 03/06/2020 20:01

You don’t deserve your child. I can’t believe what I’m reading

tenlittlecygnets · 03/06/2020 20:01

Who cares about what he thinks? Pick yourself up, block him on everything and start parenting your dc. Your poor child.

The amount of energy you've wasted on your loser ex - you could have put that energy into looking after your child.

Where is your dignity? Who cares why he's not replying? He's laughing at you.

Breakups hurt, but your relationship was crap! If you feel you really cant cope, contact your GP. You might find it helpful to do the Freedom Programme too, so you can raise your standards for your next relationship.

User8008135 · 03/06/2020 20:05

Agreeing with Zaphodsotherhead, you are ill OP. You need to contact your GP for help.

I suspect your family are worried about your neglect of your son, so it's good you have moved in with them. They can support him, you must support him and yourself by reaching out to your GP.

Menora · 03/06/2020 20:12

I think you are ill too if you just cannot see absolutely anything else

I hope your family get you the help you need

Onthemaintrunkline · 03/06/2020 20:13

Where’s your pride, where’s your dignity, where’s your common sense?
Read all thats been written to you and for you. Stop this self indulgence/self pity, and get back to the most important job in your life, that of being a stand out Mum to your son.

TheGirlWithAPrince · 03/06/2020 20:14

grow up OP

noyoucannotcomein · 03/06/2020 20:16

I agree OP needs to sort herself, but some of these responses are anything but helpful.

OP, you must try harder. You need to get stronger. You were only with him 5 months. Do you see how unhealthy this obsessing is? The best thing you can possibly do now is take back the power that you had when you broke up with him in the first place, and block him from your life completely. You've said yourself that if he does get in touch, it will all have been for punishment. Who needs a guy like that?

TheGirlWithAPrince · 03/06/2020 20:16

you are obviously very mentally ill so i would ask for help. although i know no matter what anyone says you wont listen.

CodenameVillanelle · 03/06/2020 20:17

He doesn't want you anymore. Harsh but you need to accept it.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 03/06/2020 20:23

OP - why did you choose your user name?

This man is not the right person for you. He does not make you happy and fulfilled. He will not change.

Stop trying to force him to be right for you and work on yourself. Choose better next time,

Original poster
MamaOl · 03/06/2020 20:29

Yes I know my son is better off without me 😭

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 03/06/2020 20:37

It IS relevant though OP, for some reason you feel you are only worth a shitty relationship with an unavailable man. You CAN have a good rewarding relationship with a man who loves you, you deserve it and your son certainly deserves better
It takes 2 to play a game so if you don’t play it won’t happen

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 03/06/2020 20:38

Your ex isn't worth this.

I'm glad you have your family around to help support you and your son.

Your son is not better off without you. At the moment you are struggling but you will recover with time.

NoseyfriendNC · 03/06/2020 20:38

Do better OP for yourself and son. I know it hurts now but I promise it will get better.

I didn't read your full thread but I seen you were in your 20s and he's in his 40s. And he sat in the car every time his 'mum' facetimed. Are you sure he's not married and has gone back home to his wife which is why he's ignoring you? Either way he is a grown man and it is nothing to do with his mum.

noyoucannotcomein · 03/06/2020 20:39

Of course he isn't. That really isn't true. And even if it was, this is a situation that can be turned around.

Did you feel like a decent mum 5 months ago?

You're just both better off with this relationship being over.

mudpiemaker · 03/06/2020 20:40

Well you are his Mother, fucking step up and act like it.

You do come across as being around 14, this is a teenage attitude to thinking this is a relationship. It isn't. I posted on your other thread.

He is ignoring because you mean nothing to him. How can you not understand that? You are a shag, it isn't his mother stopping him it is him, he uses his mother as an excuse.

Block him (I have said this before) block him and his family on every single social media platform. Stop looking at his bloody facebook and get some help. You are ill. You are fixated on someone who doesn't deserve you.

Menora · 03/06/2020 20:41

He absolutely is not better off without you
But we are all trying to help you by reminding you what you do have in your life and who does need you

Your ex has his own mummy. Your DS needs one too

walkingchuckydoll · 03/06/2020 20:44

OP, in the kindest possible way, you're obsessed, you need therapy. This behaviour is not normal.

Swipe left for the next trending thread