Would you say you have a deep connection with your DP/DH?

[lovelocks]

Is having a deep connection in a relationship important?

Yes, definitely with DP. Connection on all levels.

We deal with things differently- he's a 'wing it' kind of person and I'm a planner- but it creates a perfect balance.

I wish I'd realised, before two failed marriages, that it could actually be this way. Still, better late than never, eh

DH and I have been together for 23 years and I love and respect him.

I wouldn't use the words 'deep connection' or 'soulmate' or 'knows me better than I know myself' or 'completes me' though. Maybe it's just a question of vocabulary.

Thanks @dreamingof I'll take a look

Absolutely. We are very different people in terms of personalities and tastes, but we are deeply bonded souls who love each other's company and enhance each other as individuals.

Same as a PP, have attachment issues and history of emotional abuse so anyone I’ve felt a ‘deep connection’ with has been bad news for me.

I do feel a deep love for my current DP though. He’s also my best friend and the one person I’d trust with my life (corny as that sounds- it’s true) I’ve never felt as secure in any relationship as I do in this one, that was important for me.

Yes. I wouldn't have married him if I didn't think we had a deep connection.
I think it's so important to any relationship. As you grow older priorities change, intimacy can fade, therefore you need something deeper (also a lot of fun) to keep things fresh, and the relationship strong.

We do. We're two sides of the same coin. When we got together literally all of our closer friends commented on the perfect fit.

No, and it makes me very sad. We've had our ups and downs over thirty years, and at some points have been closer than others. I know it's possible to claw our way back but at the moment I feel like it's out of reach.

I'd say we are more like housemates now. We have some common interests and we can have a laugh, but there seem to be lots of things about him that really irritate me these days (and I'm sure the feeling is mutual).

It's very depressing to think that I'll never feel that intimacy or passion ever again.

No, but we have been together 30 years and that shared experience is what binds us now. I sometimes wonder about what it is like to be with a soul mate, but I don't believe in soul mates and conclude it could be quite suffocating as it implies we are not all individuals and independent of each other.

@listentoreason on bad days, I could have written your post.

@Shodan I could have written your post, except he's the planner I had two awful failed relarionships before - didnt marry either thank god - and wish I'd known before too

Yes. I’m my true self with him and he is the same with me.

I’m my true self with him and he is the same with me.

Do you know something, I am definitely not my true self with him. I mask a lot of my feelings and I don't think either of us are good communicators. I'm probably worse than him, I tend to dissolve into a snivelling mess if we are discussing emotional issues and we get nowhere.

I think he is quite content to continue as we are, he likes the security (and getting his washing done) whereas I often fantasise about splitting up. It just feels like such a massive step to take and will involve so much hassle that I just can't face it. It's not like we spend all our time at each other's throats.

It's essential and yes.

Yes. I’m my true self with him and he is the same with me

I'm sorry but nobody ever knows that for sure. Lots of people have thought that and ended up surprised

I'm the most open and honest with him. I don't go in for all the soul mate stuff but he's the best man I've ever met. Deep connection, sometimes, other times I want to kick him in the throat for his mouth breathing.

The main aspect lacking in my relationship is that deep connection and just a connection in general really. He’s great in other ways but I really miss connecting with a partner on that level. I’m pregnant so can’t leave right now but if I wasn’t I don’t think we would still be together. I realised the importance of a deep connection a bit to late!

With my exh no... it was very superficial and we ended up married for a decade and with dc's. With my current partner, yes. Definitely yes. Im not a soul mate believer, so I wouldn't call it that, but we are like 2 sides of the same coin.

Yes definitely. We are best friends as well as lovers and husband and wife. I can tell him anything and talk about anything and the same for him.

Like another poster we are eerily close. We both often say the same thing at the same time. We often try to phone each other at the same time resulting in both phones being engaged. Also lost count of how many times I have picked up my phone just as he rings. I have a sense that he will phone. Never phones at the same times so it's not down to that.

We were close right from the day we met. From the first date we saw each other every day even if only for an hour and married 5 months later. Now, 40 years later, we are even closer

Babdoc so sorry for your loss
I don’t think I could ever be with someone else either if I lost my husband. He’s my world.

Yes.

He's my 'bestie'

I had that when I was young with my first relationship. Total soulmates, we got each other on every level. It felt like being with my twin soul. We became very moulded together and obsessed with each other. It wasn’t healthy and eventually burnt us both out.
I married someone I love and feel very comfortable with . It’s not a deep soul connection though. It just works in the sense of companionship and shared values. I do agree that if you partner is not your best friend there is something wrong.
Having an all consuming connection with someone is very exhausting and it often just can’t be maintained long term.

I suppose so, he certainly knows me better than anyone. We're best friends, first and foremost. We've had our moments of strife during lockdown, but on the whole we've got on really well and supported each other.

I know it's going to sound so cheesy written down but my DH is my soulmate. The first day we met we both just knew that we'd get married one day...took us a couple of years to actually find out each other thought that.

There are too many weird situations that brought us together. DH is from another country and the fact we ended up in the same place and had as much in common as we did is just bizarre.
As another PP said we have this weird connection of finishing what the other is saying, knowing when the other will call.

We're best friends and we'd do anything for each other. I'd honestly be lost without him in my life.

Yup sounds as cheesy as I thought!

DH and I have a deep bond. We often know what each other is thinking.He's the only person I would trust with my life.
We love each other so much still and we've been together 30 years.

We're not complete without each other. He's my everything