Help with my ds relationship issues with DH

[justkeepmovingon]

I have a question, is it totally normal for a a 17 year old to not want to talk or share anything with his dad?

We are married two ds but neither feel they can talk to or trust DH with any news, secrets, girlfriends anything really. It's like they have absolutely no desire to engage with him unless they want something?

It's making me feel so sad as my eldest is just venturing into talking with his girlfriend a new relationship but he's sworn me to not tell his dad, he's asked me after lockdown can I drop him to hers and still keep it secret, he said he just can't be arsed with the smug and comments from DH.

@Deathraystare females!! That's the thing we love that and watch it together and the boys always laugh so much saying OMG dad is Martin.

But in real life that doesn't work and is really cringy and causing issues.

@Trevsadick thank you again.

I do daily have an issue with DH over something or other he just can't seem to function as an adult so he gets criticised, my DS also roll their eyes at him and his behaviours. So the dynamic is so off as you say.

He really doesn't gain any respect from us as a trio. And then expects the DS to want to spend time with him.

Another poster said about him thinking his sons are mates, and yes that's spot on he talks all the time about going travelling with them, out and about and almost like he's waiting for them to get to 18 and has some romantic ideas of them being around.

Personally I think they will travel alone and fly the nest sooner than he thinks and not look back as he's never really nurtured that relationship with them, I've always taught them to be independent.

I'm not sure overall what the solution is unless I can go back to telling him about going to relate, I've tried over the years but he Tells me there is nothing wrong with him and I fear he won't understand any outcomes.