Dating with one word replies and dead end replies is killing me!

[katiie3]

Hey guys, I’m becoming extremely frustrated by the one word dead end replies when you are dating.

It really begins to kill the spark and interest! I just don’t feel myself gravitating to such a person and I certainly refuse to carry the conversation with a man who can’t.

What is one supposed to do?! Just slowly fade out until neither of you speak anymore.

(We has a conversation about this and he said he will make more of an effort but it’s still the same)

I literally just posted on another thread what poor communicators men are these days.

When I was dating, I always got one word answers, or a reply 3 days later. There was no back-and-forth chat, no building excitement. Dull dull dull.

I think men expect women to make all the conversation as we are (sexistly) seen as 'chatterboxes'.

No advice I'm afraid but I have been there and it is frustrating!

@wolfgirrl it it so annoying and frustrating! And it is so unattractive to chase a man who is just blah blah. They don’t even say outright that they are not interested anymore.

And example is : hey, how is your day?
His reply: fine.

Literally.

Eww I hate that. I'd just give up and move on, it's a bad sign they can't be bothered making an effort at this early stage!

Why bother with someone who is not interested?

I used to abandon those types pretty quickly.
Anyone who does that is either uninterested or uninteresting. Someone worth talking to will be easy to talk to.

@TorkTorkBam that’s the frustrating thing. He says he is interested and “likes me”.

I agree with @RedCouch - dick is plentiful and low value. There are so many men online. Just ignore, or block, those who make no effort or who don’t “click” with you when you start chatting.

Sorry but he’s not really interested.

Same here. About to ditch a guy because of this. He’s basically used me whilst bored in lockdown and now he’s getting out again I’m old news. Last message was yesterday morning, apologising for being crap at contact and that he’ll try harder... ha ha ha. Is it OK for me to just ghost him in this situation? I’d assume he’d never notice anyway!

I don’t know yet whether it’ll go anywhere, but I’m currently chatting with someone who has been sending really interesting, thoughtful replies for over a week, and making a lot of effort. They do still exist!

@MummyGoingItAlone: I’d block, perhaps with a message first saying, “this communication pattern isn’t working for me. Good luck.” And I wouldn’t feel guilty about it.

@mummygoingitalone glad to know it’s not just me! And even more annoying when you emphasis the lack of communication and then it is the same or worse.

I think I’m not going to bother with carrying the conversation anymore.

It’s just so frustrating isn’t it 😩 started talking in Feb, met a couple of times before lockdown, did loads of video calls and texting. He struggled during lockdown and we talked loads. Now he’s able to see his friends again (he’s into motocross and car racing) I’ve literally been forgotten. I’m not too fussed, he wasn’t the man of my dreams but even so, still pretty shitty

@MummyGoingItAlone sounds horrible! My communication died down in lockdown. I have more conservation with my postman, ha.

I think you have to have that “click” or spark as many years ago, I had a long distance relationship. Went 6/7 months without seeing each other, but we spoke all the time and the conversation was so easy and fun. And I remember getting butterflies in my tummy!

I know someone who replies to everything with..... ok

Annoying isn't it, I think treat them the same, if they are lazy hopefully they'll try harder not to lose you or they are not that interested.

You misunderstand what 'interested' means. He may well be interested in cultivating a possible sex link, he isn't interested in you.

If he was interested in you (as opposed to 'interested'), he'd want to know how your day went, and what you think about his day. Communication isn't a first base toward intimacy, it's for the purpose of finding out about the other person. He doesn't want to. He isn't interested. 🤷🏼‍♀️ sorry.

Glad to hear it's not just me this happens to. I was seeing a guy last year, got in really well on dates but very little contact outside of that despite him constantly being online in WhatsApp and fb, eventually I decided not to text first and we went a whole week with no contact so I then finished it.

Now on tinder and get lots of initial messages but then if I don't make the effort then it just dies off, and can't be arsed anymore

It was very good until the lockdown eased. He helped me with an application I was doing, I helped him with stuff. We discussed the day. I’d take him on FaceTime walks when he was stuck indoors, it really was great. Now I get a “Morning” text, I’ll reply asking what he’s up to for the day and I get nothing back for 3 days. He’ll apologise for his crap communication then the cycle repeats. I’m just going to ignore him. If he messages again I’ll tell him it’s not working and then block.

@happinessischocolate

Glad to hear it's not just me this happens to. I was seeing a guy last year, got in really well on dates but very little contact outside of that despite him constantly being online in WhatsApp and fb, eventually I decided not to text first and we went a whole week with no contact so I then finished it.

Now on tinder and get lots of initial messages but then if I don't make the effort then it just dies off, and can't be arsed anymore

This is it. I’m all for making an effort. I’m not someone who expects the guy to do all the chasing. Not heard from my guy since yesterday morning. So I text this morning asking his plans for the day. Nothing. I text at lunch to see if he fancied a FaceTime tonight. Nothing. There’s a line that has to be drawn and it’s here. It’s a shame as I’ve invested 4 months in getting to know him and I liked him but if he can’t communicate now, there’s no chance of a relationship

I ditch them pretty quickly these days. It shouldn't be hard work, especially at the beginning. Having been married to someone who doesn't talk about anything other than bland every day things (like work or the weather) its very frustrating and makes having a grown up conversation about any issues almost impossible. Unfortunately I didnt find this out until I was married as he made a lot more effort to chat in the beginning. If your date can't do that so early on I'd advise you to get rid. It really won't get better

He says he is interested and “likes me”

Listen to actions. Words are cheap.

You misunderstand what 'interested' means. He may well be interested in cultivating a possible sex link, he isn't interested in you.

spot on

Firstly, he’s not that interested.

Secondly, you clearly want a man who has banter - he doesn’t so you aren’t compatible.

End it.

Gosh, I hate the idea of people using others for entertainment and distraction on lockdown then fading out.