Finding this relationship hard!

[Foxy456]

Hi all, just wanting some advice. Long story short I’ve been badly hurt in the past, I overthink EVERYTHING! Met my bf in a shit way, we started our relationship before he fully ended his previous one. (Which both him and ex have said was already dead) his ex took a year to leave the home they shared with they’re 3 year old (saving etc) she now has a bf (who she was seeing before me and my bf started anything, we’ve since found out) anyway that’s the short version. My issues now are she’s not great with they’re son she struggles with being a mum, so his parents treat her like she’s a 15 year old still. She has more interaction with his family than her own, she txts my bf for everything. (Like a child, she’s 32) his family won’t accept me, and I feel like she’s spending as much time as she can with them to discourage them having anything to do with me. His family slag her off yet lick her arse, cos they are worried she can’t look after the child alone. (She has him 4 days on 4 days off). My bf says he thinks it’s odd but better for the child as she’s incompetent. Me and my bf constantly argue about it all, we live 45 miles apart so only see each other 2-3 times a week. It’s causing a massive rift. Anyone else dealt with similar??

he is 100% not the type to put a women before his child, hence why I’m in this predicament

He fails to discipline his children. He's not a good dad. Maybe because he fears his ex, maybe because he is just a shit parent.

Oops wrong thread

I’d walk away. There’s too much drama.

OP I’m not entirely sure what you want from this thread. Do you just want a moan or is there something you would like advice about?

Your BF’s parents ‘licking her arse’ is them supporting the mother of their grandchild, which is ultimately supporting the child himself. What else would you have them do?

Your BF will always be this child’s father, and the ex will always be the mother of his child, your BF has a duty of care towards that child, and if the ex is struggling, for whatever reason, some of that is inevitably going to be either supporting or picking up the slack when she for whatever reason is unable to parent on her own.

OP I’m afraid you’re always going to be at the bottom of the pecking order in this situation, and rightly so. What the BF, his parents and the ex all have in common is a child, and that is far more of a bond than you just seeing your BF. You’re going to have to decide what you want from this relationship, and if it’s something that your BF can’t offer you then I’m afraid you’re going to have to let it go. You have your own kids to worry about don’t forget.

What I would also say is that if you have genuine concerns about the well being of this child then you should call social services.I’m sure you can do it anonymously. They might be able to offer the ex some sort of help caring for the child.

Is he going for primary custody op? Given they all think she's incompetent

Firstly, there seems to be a lot of nastiness on here. There's really no need for it.

Secondly, more often than not if you come on here asking anything about your BF and his kids from PR you're always gonna be labelled the OW. Which isn't always the case.

Thirdly, telling EVERYONE to get with someone with no kids or baggage in this day and age? Really?

Life is what it is, you can't help who you fall in love with. Its only upto you to decide if you love them enough to stay through the hard times as well as the happy times. No relationship is perfect, true love always shows its colours in the end.

Honestly 🙄

If the woman is so incompetent how come him and his family haven't taken her to court for residency? Surely if they are all so concerned about the child they would have done something by now?