If your close with your Mum..

[AnxietyForever]

How many times a week would you say you spoke to one another? Either her phoning you or vice versa

I used to phone my mum everyday.
When she became ill with dementia I gave up my job to look after her.
When she went into a carehome I would visit about 4/5 times a week along with my siblings.
At the end of her life i stayed at her bedside for 16days sleeping on a chair.

What do we talk about? Shite really lol. What we made for dinner, what we saw on tv, I tell her about whatever video game I am playing and she tells me about the book she is reading. Sometimes I get the life story of some neighbour I've never met xD our plans for the next day ect... rinse and repeat.

Did speak every day saw her once a week minimum.
She died suddenly 5 weeks ago and the pain is unreal
Treasure your mum

We've always spoke once a day, atm we are speaking or video calling 2-3 x day on the days I'm not working. DH's mum much less, she lives 10 minutes away but we only really see her 3-4 x per year & she only really calls if she's drunk which leads to fall out with DH.

@DDIJ I love my mum so much but I'm not sure if I would say we are close or not - she would say we are close and would be hurt if she thought I felt differently. I speak to her every day now, most days pre-lockdown, but I don't share my problems with her much. We have different ideas about life so I'm not sure I would value her advice on relationships, for example. But I do ask her advice on gardening, or food, etc, sometimes. Mostly when we talk I ask if she's been out anywhere, did she meet anyone, and family news, we talk about tv programmes we've both seen. Usually pointless conversations, but it's just a way of keeping regular contact up so the connection is there.

Thank you to everyone who has replied, see I find this interesting because I'm not close with my mum (I don't think) but she rings me everyday and has done since I got married 9 years ago, she gets really flustered if I don't answer and when I do it will be like 'oh I didn't speak to you yesterday' or 'what have you been doing'

I tolerate her but find she's controlling and don't know how to reduce the calls.
I'm late 20s with 2 children.

@mrssunshinexxx so sorry for your loss. To lose a loved one at this time must be so very hard ❤️ sending lots of love to you and your family xx

OP I used to find the calls or texts annoying but then I had my DD and realised my mom worries about me, like I would worry about her. My mom just needs to know I am ok and misses me. Since having my DD I have understood her more. Maybe your mom is the same, she just worries about you. I would take it as a sign of how much she loves you to be honest.

@SqidgeBum I thought this too but she wasn't the best mum when I was younger, in fact she couldn't wait for us all to grow up and leave! And now.. it's just too much

Maybe she is lonely?

@DDIJ @AnxietyForever just anything. I talk to her in much the same way as I talk to my best friend, whatever’s going on. Last few texts are along the lines of ‘got maternity jeans, they’re clearly made for someone taller 😂’ ‘whether the alcohol free gin would be nice with gin’ ‘ideas for playing with my sewing machine’ ‘things to do so I’m not on social media getting in debates’. Just the general chit chat of life.

Could be how I’m feeling, what she’s doing at work... whatever really.

If its not what you want too then yeah it's too much.
I'm in the same boat as mrssunshine, I lost my mum very suddenly at the end of last year and it is horrendous not being able to speak to her. We were in touch daily. I can't believe I can never talk to her again.

I'm close to my mum but only talk 2-3 times a week. Luckily we both understand we have our own lives and would both find every day too suffocating. However, its whatever works for you. Many people speak to their mum every day and if that works for them then great

@AnxietyForever I’m sorry you’re finding this hard with your mum. Would it be possible to say to her you’d prefer one call a week when you’d have more time catch her up on? It’s fine to create boundaries for yourself. She might not like it but it’s your life too, make out like life is kind of boring right now, not much to say, would rather chat when there’s something to chat about?

@DDIJ that does sound weird. Just sounds like you’re very different people.

Thanks @DDIJ & @Sowhatywhaty it's truly awful 37 weeks pregnant with my first baby too but we just have to carry on

Message daily in whatsapp, speak every other day, pre lockdown saw eachother weekly. (bar drop off and pick up of dcs for gym during the week)
DH is close to his mum and speaks to her maybe 2 or 3 times a week, also saw her weekly or lockdown.

Every day or every other day, in person, text or by phone. She lives next door.

I would rather spend time with my mum than my friends....im mid 20's and she is my best friend! I see her every day (or did before these times) I have seen her most days due to me dropping shopping round or sitting in the garden but I can't wait to hug her! On days I don't see her I video chat so she can see my DS.

@emotionalrangeofateaspoon so many times in my life have I sacked off friends to go and see my mum. In normal life I see her more than pretty much any other friend

I would definitely prefer 2/3 calls a week, we live in the same town so see each other at least once a week too (pre-lockdown) but the calls don't stop, I've tried before explaining the calls are too much but she doesn't listen.

There's 4 of us siblings and it's the same with us all, apart from my brother who just won't answer the call or returns it when it suits him.

Maybe 3-5 days a week. Usually FaceTime. We don't live close. We'll also WhatsApp directly and to a family group.

@BuffaloCauliflower yes me too. It's not like I have a long line of friends but if someone asks me to do something I always check with my mum to make sure she doesn't need me for anything or want to see me first.