What's happening

[meganelizabeth]

Hi everyone . I hope your all well
And still sane durning this lockdown ha ha . I'm after advice please . Me and my partner have been in a relationship for 10 years . Engaged for 5. No children. Have been trying . A few misscarriages . And we're just about to buy our own house before lockdown . He has always had trouble with his mental health and the way he deals with it . I think it has stemmed from childhood and his teenage years . He has a medical condition which he would have to stay in hospital with growing up and would have obvious physical symptoms that something wasn't right . I think he was probably bullied a lot and that's why he has no friends apart from the people he has met in work . He admits he never done much growing up always in his room playing on the computer . He has never liked doing anything apart from staying in . Me on the other hand loves walking and exploring . He has been awfully emotionally abusive and on occasions physically. I never had anxiety before I met him but I have walked on egg shells for so long I think it made me come close to a breakdown . But when things are good they are good . Also from an awful past relationship I think I am very needy and just don't want to be on my own . But I did love him so much so never wanted him gone . Nothing ever makes him happy apart from drinking and playing computer games . His family don't speak to him anymore either . Been two years . Their fault not his for once ha ha . That made him worse for a few months . Up until last month I would of done anything for him . He's got it so easy with me . Every thing is done . He doesn't have to lift a finger ever . Just home shower and play games ! I clean cook , wash iron lay clothes out food for work put rubbish out you name it I do it . I'm only ever nice to him and rarely ever dissagree with him because it will
Put him in a mood where he won't speak to me for days . I always used to think it was my fault he was like it . I got so depressed. But now I know it's not . These last few weeks have been awful . And I know loads are struggling with lockdown but it's been no different for us we are both still
Working . He has been awful . Horrible . I feel like I don't know him anymore . He keeps saying I don't make him happy . That's it's shit here with me . Every day I have had this . Then he will ignore me when I get up set telling me to shut the fuck up . Excuse my language. He's been breaking stuff in temper too . Sometimes
He breaks down and says he's going to get help but never does . The other night I told him I'm
Going back on the pill because no way do I want a child brought up in this . I said i want to be a good mother not a shit one and I can't even cope with myself when we are like this . So I am not trying anymore and am back on the pill which he took badly . Said he was leaving. But he came
Home after work . And started all over again . He then said can we give it one more go . Us not a baby . I said yes . But this time I feel so different and it's upsetting me . All the other times I would be bawling and feel
So happy and relieved. But now I feel nothing and kind of gutted that he's still here . I don't even know if I love him anymore . All I want to be is happy and with a person who loves me for
Me and gets excited about things . I can't see it getting better because he can't keep being nice for longer than a day and in a way I don't want it too x

Christ ... fastest diagnosis in History and during a global pandemic... and OP you have fallen for it hook line and sinker.... you need to go back and read your original post... and when you feel weak.. read it again and again and again.. for yours and your poor daughters sakes

It sounds like he has been referred to mental health services for an assessment, you don't get a diagnosis of bipolar disorder from a 10 minute chat with a GP.

It does not sound like he has the symptoms of bipolar disorder from what you say. You've described no manic phase (flight of ideas, talking fast, pressured speech, grandiose ideas, not sleeping much) or symptoms of depression (changes is sleep and appetite, feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, sadness, diurnal variation, lack of motivation etc). I suggest you do some reading around borderline personality disorder/emotionally unstable personality disorder and also narcissistic PD - these are not treatable with medication. There is no excuse for the way he treats you, being nasty is not a mental health condition.

It sounds like he is using a probably non-existent MH problem as an excuse and you're falling for it. Even if he does have MH problems - it is no excuse for the way he is treating you and this does not mean you have to stay with him!

Also I would suggest going to the MH assessment with him or speaking with them separately with his consent. If he doesn't want you to thats concerning - people can say what they want at assessment to get a diagnosis they want, and info from family is always really helpful!! He could come out of the appointment and tell you whatever he wants.

I think you know this is not a viable relationship