Spark

[onemoresmartie]

Interested to hear what people mean when they say there was no spark but I'm a nice girl

I look exactly like my pictures. I said I was a size 12/14 and we laughed about putting on some lock down pounds so he was fully aware what he was meeting.

I feel so down today, we got on really well on our 2m social distance walk and then he said this.....

I know that no one can read minds but it's knocked me massively

It could mean anything really , from something you said , an opinion you may have that he doesn’t agree with, No physical attraction.it’s just a way to say that he doesn’t think you are compatible.

Don’t take it to heart though.

He just wasn't feeling 'it'
There is no rhyme or reason.
You either feel attracted to someone in the 'flesh' or you don't
Doesn't mean that person isn't nice.
I've had loads of dates where people are very nice but I'm not feeling it!
If you are going to OLD you need to develop a very thick skin very quickly.
It's a numbers game.
You will go on loads of dates and meets until you find one where you both feel that click and spark.
Don't ever take it personally (easier said than done!)

When I have said this in the past, it has meant

• You seem really creepy but obviously I can't say that
• After two hours talking about recipes I'm just not finding you that sexy
• You don't seem to have got over your ex
• I was looking for a fun fling and you don't seem the type

It's a polite sorry not interested. At least you havent been ghosted.

OP this happens to me all the time, I'm always told I'm a 'fantastic lady' but theres no spark, it seems to happen every time. Sometimes I've been the one to say it too. I do find it disheartening and I constantly wonder if anyone will ever feel that spark towards me. I just wanted to let you know that I know how it feels.

It's so bizarre when there was no awkward silences, it went exactly how I thought it would we got on well we laughed he said I looked nice as soon as we met. I absolutely think it's a physical thing and now I haven't ate since yesterday which I know is ridiculous

I have been on so many dates and wasted to much time talking to people and meet up with them to just be let down and disappointed over and over again.

I really don't know what I'm doing wrong

Unless he mentioned your size specifically, saying there's 'no spark' mightn't be about your size at all. It's not like you're morbidly obese, you may well not even be medically overweight.

Like you said, he saw your pictures and they're not faked so the idea about size is something coming entirely from your own imagination. Have you had a bad experience in the past, or is it just something you're self-conscious about?
In any case, not eating is definitely not the answer!

The guy I selected after telling the others there was no spark was the biggest of all of them...

It means they don't fancy you but thought you were a nice person.
and it's doesn't mean that your not attractive maybe just not his type or there wasn't any sexual feelings. I don't always fancy an attractive man there's got to be an extra something in the mix that draws me to him.
Don't over think it.

His message also said he didn't feel a spark and felt like I thought the same

I don't know how it came across like that at all to honest.

is message also said he didn't feel a spark and felt like I thought the same
He's trying to make it sound like you didn't come across as keener than him. Making it sund like a mutual choice, rather than him fighting you off!

Oh OP. Sometimes people aren’t attracted to one another, and it’s impossible to nail down a reason. It’s a bit like asking why one key fits Door A but not Door B. It’s not you. Onwards

I would say don't message them after the date in future and see if they come back to you then you won't have to worry about the ones when their not interested, the ones that are will definitely let you know and if they talk about a second date on the first then that is also a good sign.

I didn't message him he sent me the message pretty much as soon as I got home.

Then weirdly after I replied he said he would like to stay in contact and be friends

I didn't reply to that one, I don't need friends 😂

Before we had met he was sending me pictures of hotels he wanted to take me to....

Maybe I should of ran a mile then

Good haha you don't need to have ex dates as friends

Oh I'd send him one more message if you like him

' hi, to be honest I did feel a spark and was looking forward to getting to know you ' or somethijg similar just in cae he thought youre not keen

No don't think I'll bother bigchris

He did seem a bit strange

Yeah... He's sounds like a love bomber and future faker.
Bullet dodged OP!

I agree

Thanks everyone
Onwards and upwards

I've just made a nice healthy salad and going to be kinder to myself for the rest of the day

He just didn't fancy you OP and wasn't prepared to have another date to see if that feeling would grow.

This is why you meet asap and take everything that is said in the messaging beforehand with a massive pinch of salt.

Try not to take it personally and move on to the next one. Don't get invested next time. Good luck!

I think most people are nice in the world but that alone isn’t enough to set someone apart, especially when competing with hundreds of others online. I would class myself as a nice person but my interests would probably be too boring for some so they may see me as nice but not what they are looking for. Something you only find that out when you meet up.

Surely it's just a thing isn't it .. it's so pressured when you are meeting like that . Not like that good old days when you met some one in a pub or hobby or whatever and if he is time sensitive ( feeling his age ) he won't want to waste time . It's not you it's just the combination of the two of you 🤷‍♀️

Are you reserved ? I guess maybe he expected some flirting and didn't get any ? I know when someone fancies me and make them know if I fancy them ? Maybe you didn't do that either ? Watch some first dates and see how they react in 'blind date ' situations .

He just wanted a shag.